To Do or Not to Do: (Bump)dates?

Whether or not those of us who battled infertility and finally get that BFP should do it or not is the topic at hand. 

Seems to be somewhat debated here in the blogging community, yet on IG & FB its the norm to show off your bump as soon as you see 2 lines.

Some bloggers who have fought IF and/or pregnancy loss choose to document their pregnancies week by week with photo updates of their bump and narratives of their symptoms once they fall pregnant.

Others go the opposite way, and keep their weekly bump pics respectively to themselves after finding out they are preggo (that is assuming they are taking them). 

So, what do you think, are sharing these (bump)dates with your fellow infertiles here on the blog OK or not? 

Will those still in the trenches of our community be hurt seeing the photos? 

Or will those in the trenches rejoice in a community victory? 

If you ask me, it depends on where they are in their journey. 

Early on in my blogging, when I was just getting to know the members, I mostly deleted those who turned pregnant soon after.  I didnt have relationships with any of them and I was mainly blogging to vent.  Also, my miscarriage wounds were so fresh; I surely didnt want to see any in utero pics at all right after any of our losses.  

After awhile, I got to know the women in this community and started following their stories. I had a much harder time deleting them when they achieved their dreams, so I didnt anymore.  I realized it wasnt just about me venting, and I started to find hope in their success. I enjoy reading and seeing the posts now. Besides, isnt having a family our goal here anyway? 

Yet, if I see these posts on an anniversary of ours I cant do it. I turn my head or scroll a little quicker. I wish it hadnt been posted. I cringe a bit and think “why not me? When will it be our turn?”

Other times, when I am feeling like I am over it all, and wallowing in self-pity, I realize I am numb to the bumpdates. A true vet, I feel emotionless either way about the member posts. 

Like I mentioned, for me, where you are in the journey makes a BIG difference on how you react to these bumpdates.  I think it also matters greatly to us infertiles what the person went through to get that bump. If it was easy, forget it. But I am talking about this community and doing bumpdates here, so easy isnt exactly the word that comes to mind when I think about their posts.

Anyways, I went back and forth for awhile in my mind about whether or not I would do the weekly bump photo opps on this blog should I have the chance to document a pregnancy  ever again. 

In the end, I am pretty sure that I will. 

To me, part of the infertility blogging experience includes seeing the bumps of our fellow community members. Believe it or not, I feel its made me stronger.  I am sure some may feel different, and I totally respect and understand it. 

I feel this place is a place of honesty and good intention, and I know for me, a place I look back on and reflect on posts I have made from time to time. I surely want to be able to look back upon the week by week journey of growing our baby one day should we be blessed enough. Plus, I love pictures and blogging, I think it will be hard for me not to put them together pregnant. 

I may do what some other bloggers have done, and create a new IG account or password protected posts just for bump stuff. Not sure yet. I do want to be considerate of others because I know the ways I have felt at different times as I described. 

While this all very well could change with time, one thing I am sure of is that I will always be an infertile no matter how it all plays out. I will not be able to just “switch” off this part of us and leave everyone else still TTC behind. I want them to still be part of my life and vice versa.