Birth Story

I want to record our son Isaac’s birth story before anything becomes forgotten, and have been meaning to do so all week,  but truthfully I have been so in awe of him that I havent made the time yet. Hubby is currently out to the store (thank God he took the first 2 weeks off) and I am feeling quite tired but need to stay awake so what better time than now!

We were admitted to the hospital on Sunday, 12/18/16, at 7:30 p.m. for our induction. The nurses that greeted us gave us the biggest and nicest labor room on the floor. The room had a pull out bed for dad, baby warming station, flat screen TV, jetted tub and shower, and of course my hospital bed. Upon arriving, I put on my own special order gown and had my vitals taken. We unpacked our bags and hubby found the ice machine (my best friend!) on the floor. 

Around 9 p.m. my nurse inserted my hep lock IV and got me hooked up to the machines. She showed hubby and I how we could monitor my contractions and the babys heartrate if we like. We could adjust the volume easily, and unplug the machine for bathroom use throughout the night. I gave the nurse my birth plan and she eased some of my fears. 

By 10 p.m. that night I had my cervix checked and cervidil inserted into it. For the first two hours the meds are in you need to stay laying down. I was about 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced at the time it was inserted. The cervidil was to soften my cervix and is supposed to be left in for 12 hrs. I must say that having it inserted was not a pleasant experience at all. It took about 4 tries for my nurse to get it in the right spot, which she emphasized how important doing so was. Finally, she had success and we were on our way! 

I didnt expect to have contractions or major cramping throughout the middle of the night with he cervidil. My OB had said I probably wouldnt feel much, if anything, until the next morning, but by midnight I was both contracting and cramping. I must have unhooked myself from the machine every hour to go pee. The benadryl they gave me to get some sleep was pointless. I was up around the clock. 

Around 4 a.m. I began to think shit was getting real. I wanted another cervix check but my nurse convinced me to try and hold off until morning came. At 6 a.m. I literally heard a “pop” and jumped up. Then came the gush. Or gushes I should say. My water broke. It was warm and clear, mixed with blood. Almost immediately after, the pain intensified. I was 4 cm dilated, and wanted to discuss the epidural so I paged my nurse in. 

By now, hubby was up and I got on the birthing ball and began practicing deep breaths. The contractions were intense. I wondered how the heck I was going to make it! The anesthesiologist came in and talked to me, and I went over my history of scoliosis wih him the best I could between the contractions, now coming every 3 minutes. He had trouble getting the needle in initially, I believe it took 3 tries. 

Minutes after the epidural, my blood pressure plumetted and I felt awful. They said I looked green. They pumped me with some other drugs and eventually got me back to where I needed to be. The epidural eased my pain for the time being, and by noon I was close to 7 cm dilated I believe. Hubby and I got some much needed sleep during this time.  

By 4 p.m. my pain level was increasing again, and I kept hitting the damn medicine button hooked up to my IV. It didnt seem to do much after awhile though. I continued to listen to my Circle + Bloom meditational CD and applied some essential oils in hopes of relaxing. I even had a special picture with me for a focal point. 

The nurse and midwife decided to give me a low dose of Pitocin to see if we could speed things up a bit. They also decided to monitor my contractions internally instead of just externally. So some other contraption was put inside of me. 

By 6 p.m., I was 10 cm dilated and in major pain. The epidural from the morning had long worn off and I was cursing the world. I had been pushing on and off for a good hour, and hubby and the team saw Miracle’s head several times. I heard the machines going off like something was wrong consistently when pushing. 

I kept asking about baby, and he was doing just fine as it appeared on the screen. I was the one in distress, not him. The machines were beeeping like crazy because of my heartrate. It was accelerating a lot, at times up to 170. The team was not happy with this at all, and my OB was called in to do a c-section right away. 

I started crying. It had been a long 20 something hours of labor only to have to be operated on. I felt like such a failure in that moment. Why didnt I just opt for the c-section in the first place? Thankfully everyone around me came together to make me realize it wasnt my fault and all I remember thinking was ‘please God, get my baby here soon.’

The anesthesiologist quickly gave me another epidural, and some other drugs for blood pressure, nausea, and anxiety, and we were being wheeled off. The epidural started working, and they were scrubbing me off as I shook and chattered my teeth. My speech was slurred, my eyes half closed, and I was really feeling drugged up. I remember I kept asking if baby was okay. I always heard how great he was doing back. Hubby was next to me holding my hand the whole time. 

I felt a decent amount of tugging and pulling, and medical jargon talk in the background. Lots of “almost there” and “I can see him” pep talks being given to me. Intense feelings of being smashed on top of my chest followed.  Then at 6:57 p.m., I heard the sound I have been waiting to hear for almost a decade, our sweet rainbow baby crying. 

I started crying instantly and I heard the team laughing about how he was peeing as they pulled him out. Hubby got to cut the cord and he received his perfect Apgar score. He was then brought over to see me. I couldnt believe it. Finally. 


9 Months & a Tour of the Nursery!

Officially full term this week at 37 weeks. Our hopital bags are packed (we did 3 of them, one for each of us) and baby boy’s carseat has been installed & inspected. Our birth plan (wasnt sure if we would do one) is also complete. I had a few friends ask what a “birth plan” is before, so here’s a snap shot of ours-

Our son’s room is ready, as is most of the rest of the house. Since I am home everyday, the nesting has been well underway for some time now. Here is his room…all finished! 






Went to the MFM this week for another growth scan. I was a little concerned going into it bc I have noticed that over the course of the past month or so I havent gained any weight. I have still been eating well, but my appetite has dwindled off a bit perhaps due to my brian believing there is so little room left in there for food or the simple fact that the more I eat, the less I can breath! 

Anywhoo, my weight loss of 1 pound has not had any effect on Miracles growth. He is still around the 50th percentile, measuring about 6 lbs. The doctor puts him at about 7 1/2 lbs. if we go another 2 1/2 wks. or so. Perfect, healthy weight! 

Everything else checked out well-he is head down, good Amnio levels, heartrate, movement, etc. This was his 3rd biophysical profile that he had and earned 100% on. It sounds as if I am already bragging about my unborn son, but I cant help it. Getting weekly BPP’s (combined with NSTs) with high scores shows the chance of a stillbirth is very, very low. 

We will not be going back to the MFM anymore, I will just see my OB everyweek from here out. In fact, I see her tomorrow for my first cervix check! I am secretly (not anymore lol) hoping I am dilated some. I am feeling SO ready to meet this guy even though he has some time left. Several of my IG friends have been having their babies now and it makes it much more real, especially when someone delivers before me who was due after me and baby is OK. 

We arent doing much Christmas shopping this year as we usually would, but I have made a point to get a few things bought now so we wont worry once baby is here. I also made hubby something special off Pinterest that serves as a new daddy gift/Christmas gift.  Id tell you more but I know he reads this, so it will have to wait 😉

We decided to do just one real Christmas tree this year, instead of the 3 or 4 artificial ones I have in the past. I must say I LOVE having the real tree for a change! It might be our new thing. Overall, we are keeping Christmas quite minimal; neither of us wants to worry about taking decorations down with a newborn. 

Until next time, sending love! 

A Hurricane, Baby Shower, Growth Scan, & Day of Remembrance

Despite our fears of Hurricane Matthew ruining our baby shower, all turned out perfectly! We were so blessed to have just been missed (literally by about 30 miles) from the storm making landfall here in South Florida. Compared to Haiti, Northern Florida, & the Carolinas, we were spared majorly.  I think everyone here woke up feeling a sense of gratitude the day after the storm. 

This isnt to say Matthew didnt bring plenty of stress last week leading up to his arrival…we ended up having to board up our house with hurricane shutters, family and friends had to reschedule their flights in for the shower, gifts being delivered were delayed, doctor appointments, along with beauty ones all cancelled. I was quite emotional to say the least. I was most worried about keeping the baby safe, as I have never been in the direct path of a category 4 storm, only a 2 and a 3. Those were bad enough! Needless to say, lots of tears were shed. 

Hubby, the dogs, & I decided to ride out the storm at my moms house who was also all shuttered up. I wanted to be around as much family as possible God forbid something happen. I ended up staying up all night as the winds were just way too loud for any rest. Its a hard noise to describe if you havent been through a storm of magnitude before. Its definitely no ordinary thunderstorm! We were able to maintain power all night (thank God!) and had no damage to our area when we went out in the morning to assess the damage. Nothing like the storms that hit us back in 2004 that left so much damage and power outages for weeks. 

The location of our baby shower also kept power and thus, the shower was still on! And what a beautiful day it turned out to be, thanks to my mom, aunt, and cousin and all their hard work setting up. The cake was to die for (so hard to cut such an adorable dessert into pieces!) and the flowers just as I imagined. The food was delicious too! Guests had a choice between 3 entrees, all which we sampled prior. We ended up just shy of 30 people and were so spoiled by all the gifts! We got everything we wanted, even more importantly that we needed. Carseat, stroller, bathtub, changing pad, MamaRoo swing, pack and play, rock and play, Bumbo seat, play mat, monitor, diaper bag, Ergo 360 carrier, clothes, diapers, bottles, blankets, toys, books…need I go on?!? Im still in awe of how generous everyone was to us. Seriously. 

We also had our 30 week growth scan at the MFM this week and Miracle is almost 3 1/2 pounds! So exciting to hear. If he continues to grow at this rate, they say he will likely be about 7 lbs at birth. Perfect! My cervix is long (over 3.75) and closed. I was really (happily) surprised by this…I figured it would have shortened some by now but it hasnt. Baby boy is currently butt down, but has time to move into proper position still. I head back to my OB next week for routine stuff, but not back to the MFM for another ultrasound until Im 34 weeks. 

I dreamed of the day where our pregnancy would enter in the “30” week range. It brings a sense of comfort to me although there are still obstacles ahead. So far, we have made all of our goals since we found out we were pregnant-

1. Increasing betas
2. Heartbeat on ultrasound
3. Get past the furthest we ever made it in a previous pregnancy (10 wks)
4. Get through the first trimester
5. Feel the baby kick 
6. Have a good anatomy scan at 20 wks
7. Make it to first viability milestone at 24 wks
8. Make it to second viability milestone at 28 wks 

Focusing on these things helps me stay positive. We are about to approach one of our last goals of viability, 32 weeks. I thank God everyday for this blessing. I also pray everyday for everyone still struggling, especially this month as pregnancy and infant loss awareness is remembered and honored. 

Last year on October 15th, we lit 7 candles for all the babies we lost over the years. This year on October 15th, we will light 8 candles, one added for Isaac’s twin that we lost with my tube back in May. Will have to post more then…in the meantime sending love to all. 

Ramblings Part 2

I figure why not continue the tangents for a bit, hey?

• We had our hospital tour today! Hubby & I went out to breakfast beforehand and my nerves were really acting up. So much that I didnt really want to eat, but I did. I have no clue why the anxiety set in, because I really was excited for the tour. He helped me work through it though and I was good by the time we arrived. The tour catered mostly to vaginal delivery procedures, we couldnt even see the OR room for c-sections because it is so sterile. Although I am hoping to do a vaginal delivery, I was curious of how things look if it doesnt play out that way. I did speak up and ask a few questions and the nurse was helpful in answering them. We learned about admittance, the different rooms we will be in, visitor policies, what to bring, the NICU, lactation consultants, circumcision, cord cutting, etc. 
• We have narrowed our choice for a pediatrician down to 2. I eliminated one of the 3 practices we were looking at for the simple reason that they wanted to charge me to meet the doctor for a prenatal consult. Um, no. Now the decision comes down to do we want a small office with just one doctor, or a large practice with rotating doctors and nurse practioners? 
• We signed up for two classes-one is infant safety, and the other is prep for labor & delivery. The infant safety course meets 2 times and the l & d class 4 times. I am excited to learn more at the classes. We also plan to take a CPR class closer to the birth with my immediate family. I did attend an informative breastfeeding class already, and I am hoping all goes as planned in that department. 
• I had my cervix check at 22 weeks and I am thankful to report that it is still long (close to 4) and closed. Baby boy weighs over a pound now and is growing as he should. There are some pics of him below! A few people said they see my resemblance in him already, but I cant see it. I did get scared during the ultrasound because the tech informed me that I was having a Braxton Hicks contraction. Well, at first she just said “contraction” and showed me it on the screen. She informed me they are totally normal, which I had already read plenty of times, but still. Id like to keep the word contraction out of my vocab as long as possible. She was having a hard time looking at my placenta due to the contractions and it took some time before they stopped finally. Placenta was fine. When I came home, I drank a bunch of water and gatorade and took a warm bath and realized my stomach started to relax. I didnt even notice how tight it had been until she pointed out the BH. I think I was a little dehydrated and it could have brought it on. When the OB called to go over my results, he assured me that with real contractions they increase in intensity and the cervix shortens…so, in other words..stop worrying!! Any ladies want to share about their BH contractions? Ever get them when dehydrated? 

• In my last post I mentioned the Tdap vaccine. Turns out hubby got the booster a few years back so he is all good there. Honestly he was my main concern. He is in & out of so many places with work and he coughs a lot to begin with. Now that I know he is vaccinated, I feel much better. I dont believe I will get vaxxed for it when I am still pregnant, if anything I will get it at the hospital afterwards. The peditricians we like so far said they will also do it for us and our immediate family at their office, so thats an option too. We will see. Thanks for all the input on this shot! 
• Im not sleeping well this week. I cant get comfy and wake up around 3 everynight and stay up. It sucks. I want to sleep on my stomach or back, and obviously I cant do either. I got one of those wedge pillows early on, but its not cutting it anymore. Im going to need some sort of body pillow, and I dont like the snoogle. I tried it and returned it. It was just too big for me, and the neck piece was uncomfy. I have a special pillow I use for my neck and I would like to continue with it. Most of the pregnancy pillows I see have a neck piece attached unfortunately. 
• We are hanging the shelves in the nursery this weekend since hubby took off. Im excited to put some decor on it after! Hope everyone enjoys theit weekend! 

Ramblings

Warning: totally all-over-the-place post ahead. 

Some things I have noticed lately:

1. I brush my teeth now being pregnant more than I ever have in my life. Its almost like an obsession. I cannot stand eating and not brushing after. Anyone else go through this?
2. My upper buttocks is still entirely numb. I guess after injecting it intramuscularly for 4 months this should not be a surprise. I did some reading & saw that it can actually take up to a year for the feelings to return. Wow.
3. I am having somewhat of a hard time (mentally) not returning back to work this week. Its my first back to school in 7 years I have missed. I have been trying to stay busy in the nursery, and also prepping for the online course I teach at the college which starts next week. I think one of the hardest parts so far has not being able to share my day over dinner with hubby after he shares his. Also, not contributing financially bothers me a bit. Thank God for short term disability!

Here are a few pics of what we have accomplished so far in baby Isaac’s room-

Forgive me if I posted these photos on here already, I know I did on IG and FB, but dont recall if I did on here or not. Preggo brain. 

Something exciting happened this week…hubby felt baby kick for the first time!! I have been feeling movement now on a daily basis, although its random and some days much more than others, I love it. When I want to feel him and havent in awhile, I have my better half put his hand on my belly. I think its amazing that I can try to get him to kick for hours and it doesnt work, but within seconds of hubby’s hand, BAM! There it is. So cute!

Question for my readers who have a baby (you all have been giving great advice lately!)- who got the TDAP vaccine in your inner circle? I have some friends who had all of their immediate family members be vaccinated (anyone around infant on frequent basis) and this is what I am seeing most pediatricians and doctors recommend. Then I know some others who did not get the vaccine and did not have anyone in their immediate circle get it either. They just waited until baby could be vaccinated for this a few months after birth. I am curious as to what has worked for many of you. Also, did you or any other adult vaccinated experience any side effects from it? Remember, we are talking TDAP, not the flu. Lol.

***Please note: This is NOT by any means a vaccine debate! If you do not believe in TDAP, I respect that, but I am currently only looking for experiences of who got it and when. Thank you for understanding! 

In other news, this week is my last cervix check at 22 weeks!!! After this one, I have another ultra at 25 weeks, but its not specifically for cervical length. They will still check it, but I will officially be out of the cerclage window since I will be viable. Viable..we are getting so close. Still praying everyday…

Still Cooking

I feel like it has been forever since I updated, when in all reality it has only been a few weeks. Since there is so much to update on, I will do it in segments.

Pregnancy

Today we are 20 weeks pregnant! Officially halfway there. A day I honestly thought I would NEVER see. We are so grateful to say the least. 

Yesterday I had a scare. I was leaking some sort of fluid and after it continued for a full day, I broke down and called my OB. This was of course, after googling like a mad woman, and freaking myself out completely. I had convinced myself that I was leaking amniotic fluid and had ruptured. I was beyond petrified.  

My hopes were that the nurse would just tell me to come into the office to be checked out, not go to the hospital. Nope, not the case. They sent me to labor & delivery so I could have a test called the Amnisure done there. Basically, a q-tip is inserted vaginally for 1 minute and then it is tested for amniotic fluid. The results take anout an hour to come back.

So, my mom drove me to the hospital. They rushed me upstairs in a wheelchair to the labor floor. Keep in mind, I had changed my undies (sorry if TMI) 3 times already before noon due to the fluid. Upon arrival to the floor, they wheeled me into one of the delivery rooms and this is when I lost it. I looked around and saw the baby incubator, the baby board where mom and baby’s name go, etc. All these things that I did not want to see at just 20 weeks pregnant. My name was even on the board. I started crying out of fear. I was here way too soon. 

I got undressed into a gown and they started monitoring for contractions. No contractions. The nurse informed me that my OB would be coming to do the test herself. She arrived soon after, and talk was taking place about if I had ruptured. The steroids, the antiobiotics, the hospital admittance, the bedrest….the chances of baby making it. I could only pray at this point. My OB did the Amnisure swab test, tested my urine, and listened to baby boy on the doppler. She also checked my cervix and I was not dilated at all. Thank God. 

The hour wait seemed like a lot longer. Finally, my OB and the nurse came in right after I heard cheers from out in the hall. The test came back negative for amniotic fluid. I had not ruptured. Such a huge sigh of relief. It also came back negative for an infection of any kind. The fluid was either normal pregnancy discharge or pee. Yep, pee. And Im going with the latter, although it is quite embarassing, simply because I know how small my bladder is. A urologist diagnosed it years ago as 3x smaller than average. Looks like I will be investing in some Depends soon! 

After I was discharged and got home, I was so tired I pretty much collapsed and slept for hours. I hadnt slept much the night before because I was worried about the fluid and I was dealing with a barking dog. Amongst all the madness of the day, it was also our 9 year wedding anniversary. Hubby was on call and didnt get home until late, but we were able to spend some time together once he did. 

Today was our appointment at the MFM for our fetal echocardiogram where they take an in depth look at the heart, even more than at the anatomy scan. Again, I was worried something would be wrong. I feel like its almost their job to find something wrong at the high risk doc. But I was wrong. His heart looked perfect. The midwife who met with us after reassured me by saying, “we have seen it all here, we are looking very closely, and he looks normal in all areas, no concerns.” I thanked God out loud over and over. My cervix is also still measuring long, close to 4cm and my placenta previa is completely resolved. We honestly couldnt have asked for a better report. 

I will head back to my regular OB in 2 weeks to check my cervix length again. I will be 22 weeks then, and they will only do one more cervix check after that at 24 weeks. Its hard to believe we are so close to our goal of 24 weeks, or viability. Only 1 more month!! 

I am starting to feel miracle move more & more now. It is still sporadic, but I know it is him. The ultrasound tech today felt him kick and it was pretty cool. Hubby hasnt felt him move yet, Im hoping within the next few weeks. Overall, I am feeling well and I cant complain. All I want is for him to keep cooking as long as possible. 

Nursery 

The carpet is in, along with the crown molding and baseboards. Hubby has assembled the crib, bookshelf, and changing table.  Today my mom and I went shopping and she bought us a rocker/recliner for the nursery! It will be delivered in a few days. We are so incredibly thankful for what her & my stepdad have done for their future grandson already. 

We have not hung anything up yet on the walls, but we have been ordering items. Our desire is to keep it classy and simple. So far decor wise we have a mirror, a clock, a shelf, a growth chart, and a soft whale to hang. I am totally obsessed with Pottery Barn Baby and have pretty much gotten everything from there. I will post pics once it is all done but here is one of the adorable whale…

Baby Shower 

I am all done registering for our shower. This was so fun and something I dreamed of for so so long. I am hoping to get some of what we picked! My amazing cousins, aunt, & friend all pitched in and surprised us with an early shower gift already…a mamaRoo!!! I cant even tell you how excited we are…hubby put it together straight away so we could play with it. 

My mom and I also just ordered the shower invitations and menus. The invites will go out towards the end of month.  They are just so cute! We decided on the centerpieces, games, favors, etc. I wont say too much because I dont want to spoil it for those coming. Speaking of those coming, several of our out of state relatives plan to come it sounds like. I feel so honored and never expected this! 

I feel like there is more, but I have been going on for some time now. Sending love to all of you who took the time out of your busy day to read this…thank you! 

Radio Silence

This is probably the longest I have gone without blogging in quite some time.

Before I begin, it is important that I say that I do not by any means want to take away from the wonderful fact that we are now 17 weeks pregnant…I still can’t believe it and thank God numerous times a day. 

However, my mindset changes daily… I go from being on cloud 9 to crying my eyes out.  I am sure a lot of this is the normal hormonal pregnant woman, but I believe some of it is also due to our past.  I never had any idea how hard pregnancy after loss would actually be. When you are so used to things going wrong, it’s difficult to believe things are finally going right.  In addition to being naive about the challenges of pregnancy after loss, I was also quite naive about how I would feel so much better (mentally) once I got out of the first trimester. All I can say to that is…YEA RIGHT (sarcastically).  Instead of early loss, you just worry about late loss.  As a recurrent miscarrier, unfortunately those fears don’t just disappear the farther along you get.

Despite the roller coaster ride of emotions, things have been pretty uneventful the past few weeks.  At 16 weeks, I officially stopped taking all forms of progesterone. Since I was on triple progesterone, my RE weaned me off one at a time.  First was the Crinone at 12 weeks, then the PIO shots at 14 weeks, and finally the Prometrium at 16 weeks.  I was incredibly nervous to go off at first…wondering “will my body do what it needs to do???”  Thankfully, so far it has and I haven’t had any bleeding from it, or from the Placenta Previa.  

In the meantime, I also started back up on the Baby Aspirin to prevent any clotting since my Sub-Chorionic is long gone (my RE took me off it back when that was around) and I am a heterogeneous carrier for a Prothrombin disorder. Other than the baby aspirin, I am just taking my prenatal and Folgard.  It’s so weird not to be taking a million pills a day! To be honest, I cried when I put away my pill boxes, band-aids, gauze pads, syringes, and alcohol wipes.  Not because I was sad to be done with them (Im not that crazy), but because of the many tough days and nights associated with them.

In order to keep tabs on my cervix, I have been seeing either my OB or the MFM every week. Today we saw the MFM doc for our anatomy scan.  I guess he prefers to do them a little earlier than usual.  I had to use my doppler before the appointment to calm my nerves.  The scan lasted about 30 minutes and hubby and I got some great pics of miracle.

The tech keep commenting on how active he was, so she was having trouble getting the pics of his brain that she needed.  She had to tap my stomach with the wand a few times to get him to move out of the way, which of course freaked me out.  I barely touch my stomach, let alone tap on it.  Yes, I know baby is protected, but still. Not taking any chances here.  Anyways, he finally cooperated and she got what she needed!

We met with the doctor right after, and he thoroughly went through each image with us.  Baby boy looked normal, or as I like to call it, perfect, in all areas.  He was even measuring a week ahead in some places.  My due date has gone from Christmas day, to the 23rd, to now the 20th.  Speaking of due dates,  we were pretty sure a C-section was the way we would be bringing our son into the world (due to my prior fibroid surgery and the previa).  Well, after speaking with my RE this past week about the specifics of my fibroid removal, it appears we may have a chance of delivering vaginally still.  Here is the email we received from her…

So, if the Previa moves up as most do as the pregnancy progresses, we wont be scheduled for a section anymore.  It seems like we will just be taking it a day at a time with this, and make decisions as we go.  Although my main concern is that baby enters this world safely, I must say I am happy to know that there is a chance I could deliver naturally now.  I feel like so much of this process has been “un-natural” that it would be nice to have something I could do naturally.

The MFM doc laid out his plan for us today.  He said he likes to monitor his IVF patients a little more frequently than not, which means appointments every 2 weeks until about 28 weeks. From his experience, he said that ART patients tend to encounter more placenta problems than non-ART patients. I didnt ask too much about what these problems could be, Id rather just not know unless needed. Unnecessary anxiety! 

The next appointment we will look more in depth at the heart (he did confirm all 4 chambers were there today), the appointment after that we will do a vaginal swab that tests for any trace of pre-term labor chemicals, along with continual cervix checks.  My cervix was at 3.8 today…anything over 3 is good.  Praying it stays nice and long!

On the home front, exciting things have been taking place! Hubby painted the nursery, and we ordered the carpet and baseboards.  They will be installed in a little over a week. The crib, mattress, and bookshelf have all arrived too.  We won’t be unpacking them until the carpet goes in though.  

Hubby is planning to get the closet organization system in within the next month or so.  I am reallllyyy looking forward to this because currently all the baby clothes are spread out randomly throughout the house.  I can’t wait to see it all come together! And I cannot wait to go in the room and nest a bit too!  I also started our registry which has been a ton of fun.  Thankfully, I have had the assistance of some of my great friends and family members.

Things are happening fast, and we are getting closer to our goal of 24 weeks everyday.  I am always thinking of all the TTC ladies out there, regardless of where you are at in this process.  Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.
 

ER Visit

I started feeling some pressure down there on & off this past week. After a few days of it, I phoned the on-call service at my OB’s office. My main fear was that my cervix could be shortening, even though it measured over 4 at my last ultra. The on call doctor referred me to the ER (I hate the ER). 

We ended up at the ER where my practice delivers soon after. The doc there (not part of their practice) did an internal exam and an abdominal ultra. He said my cervix “felt” closed and that baby was actively moving around with a good heartbeat. However, he said he could not get an accurate measurement of my cervical length there…in fact, his exact words were, “they always do it wrong here.” Real comforting to hear about the hospital right?

Anyways, he called the on-call doc at my OB practice and she said I should come in the next day when they open for an accurate measurement. Which, I might add, is what I wanted to do in the first place, but she freaked me out over the phone and encouraged me to go to the ER. Frustrating! 

I called my OB’s early the next day as instructed, and informed the receptionist of what was going on. She tried to tell me they didnt have any openings and would need to send me to the hospital. Um, no! I requested a nurse call me back. After an hour, still no call, I called again. A different receptionist said they were working on it and would call me back. At this point, I was irritated. How do they know how serious my situation is? I think some urgency would be nice. 

Around lunchtime, a nurse finally called me back and said they could get me in that afternoon for a cervical measurement scan. I asked if I would get to speak to someone about the results while I was there. She said no, someone would just call with the results, but that if things were bad, they wouldnt let me leave. Okay, whatever. 

The technician was sweet. She started with an abdominal ultra and I proceeded to tell her that these are not as accurate with cervical measurements. Why do I feel like I need to constantly tell medical personnel what is needed or not? So she said she would do an internal for the length. Thankfully, the cervical length was still over 4, & baby was alive & well. I think he was pretty annoyed (I cant blame him at this point) and wouldnt even look at the camera. 

I figured I was in the clear, until I got a call from the nurse this morning. She asked me if I knew that I have complete placenta previa? Um, no. Well, I do. She said it could be related to the pressure I am feeling down there. She recommended pelvic rest, and modified bed rest. Yep, back to the bed I go! I had a few weeks off from it at least.

I asked her the most important question of all-will this cause me to miscarry? Of course, I would have liked a solid “no” it will not. Instead I got, “nothings guaranteed, but most women who follow the instructions given go on to have successul pregnancies.” From my own research since, it appears that an early diagnosis such as mine is better than a late one. Some other points-

• A c-section is a must (already was happening from my fibroid removal) 
• I could experience painless bleeding at anytime
• This could resolve on its own, as my uterus grows, the placenta could move up with baby 
• If it doesnt resolve, hemmorage during birth is a major concern

I will be getting monitored weekly now instead of bi-weekly. I am thankful everyday for this pregnancy, but honestly cannot wait until December. I have set a smaller goal of getting to 24 weeks, or viability, since December seems so far off. Only 9 more weeks until then. I can do it. 

Please share with me your success stories with complete placenta previa. Thank you! 

First MFM Appt & More

We had our first appointment with the high risk doc this week. For the first time in awhile, I wasnt nervous going into the appointment (thanks to my doppler). In fact, my blood pressure was actually in normal range when taken. This is unusual for me. At my RE’s office, they learned to take it at the end of my appointments, after my scans, when my anxiety was gone. This time I had it taken before our ultrasound…celebrate the small steps!

The MFM office was very different than what we are used to. The office was packed, with row like, uncomfortable seating. There were loud kids and kids toys everywhere. Complete opposite of a fertility clinic. At our RE’s office, there were nice, comfy chairs and it was quite peaceful. We also had to wait over an hour, something else we arent accustomed to either. Despite the differences, we stayed open-minded and had a good visit overall.

One thing we both really liked was the huge flatscreen hanging on the wall in the ultrasound room. We didnt have this at our old clinic, and its nice to not strain to see baby on the little computer screen attached to the machine. We also had an abdominal ultra which was reassuring that we are moving along in this pregnancy. I coulnt believe how big our boy has gotten since we saw him last! 

The ultrasound tech kept commenting on how active he was. He was kicking away, although I cant feel any of it yet.  Last time we had a scan, it was tough to make out the facial profile but we can actually see hubby’s resemblence in the pic above. Simply amazing! 

After our scan, we met with the mid-wife (next time I will see the doc) and she reviewed our history and the scan. Thankfully, all looked perfect on the scan. Even though we did the Panorama already and it was low-risk, they still did the NT test and it came back negative too. Ill be going to my OB in 2 weeks and then back to MFM 2 weeks after that. Basically, appointments every 2 wks to measure my cervix. Speaking of my cervix, it was long (just over 4 cm) and closed. Thank God! 

I am 14 weeks today (officially out of the first trimester by all pregnancy calendars out there!!) and my new concern has become my cervix shortening. I had the LEEP done back in 2004, along with lots of other surgeries that put me at a slightly higher risk of it happening, such as d & c’s. I know plenty of women who had the LEEP and have been fine, but my mind sometimes goes down the path of negativity. A late term loss seems unimaginable and devastating. I am praying with the team of doctors I have we will catch anything that could occur right away. 

In other news, we put up a new fan in the nursery this week (thanks mom!). I really loved it because it has bead board blades and we are going with a whale theme which is somewhat beachy like the bead board. 

We also got the paint for the walls. This weekend we are tearing out the carpet and small baseboards in there so we can paint it. I cant wait! It’s also hubby’s bday tomorrow so we have a busy weekend ahead of us. 

Any symptoms? 

Weight gain! I couldnt believe it when I got weighed at the doctor this week. Im okay with it, just surprised. Ive already put on close to 10 lbs lol. Headaches on and off. Moodiness here & there. Lower backaches lately. I have pretty severe scoliosis to begin with (I wore a back brace for yrs as a kid), and a herniated disc, so I knew this was likely to be a problem during pregnancy. Hubby has been massaging me, and I have been icing it as needed. I still havent taken a hot bath or shower, which is what I miss more than anything right now. 

I ordered a few onesies off etsy and I must share them with you…

You cannot find things like this in stores so its well worth it. We also became FB official with our pregnancy this past week. A happy, but scary move for us. 

The pic included our due date, a shout out to our clinic, and one of our fav bible verses, 1 Samuel 1:27. 

When discussing my symptoms, I failed to mention my pregnancy brain as of lately (gee imagine that!). It has been bad, luckily Im not working right now bc I have been forgetting everything. That being said, I think there was more I wanted to say here, but it has slipped my mind.

Annual OB Appointment & More

Today I had my annual OB appointment. The last time I saw my OB was right after our 1st FET loss last September and right before our 2nd FET last December. 

I have been seeing my OB since 2003, and I highly value her opinion. When she came in the room, she had that “I’m so sorry” look on her face when she asked me how I was doing. You see, I was just 2 weeks shy of my first OB appt with her before we lost our last baby at 10 weeks.  

We caught up on all that went down since, and debriefed on where we are at now in this process. As she called it “limbo.” She informed me that she will send over my results from today to my RE so she has the up to date info in her files.  They are strict about having these every year when it comes to transfers. 

On her way out she said, “It’s been such a long time, I dont really know what to say to make things any better.” I told her not to worry, we are keeping the faith, and our time is coming soon. She agreed and we wished each other happy holidays. 

I did get to ask her some really important questions since our most recent classification as recurrent miscarriers, which we did not have the title at our visit last November.  Here is a summary-

• Since I had the LEEP procedure done with her back in 2003, and I have a history of RPL, my cervical length will be measured every 2 weeks between weeks 14-24 to ensure it is where it needs to be. So glad to hear I will be monitored super close through the second trimester. This eases a lot of my fears about my cervix shortening without any warning. 
• I will also see a perinatologist (high-risk dr) throughout any future pregnancy I have. 
• She does not feel I need to be on Lovenox during any future FET’s. Why? I miscarried BOTH with it and without it. It obviously isn’t the issue, plus I am only heterogeneous for Prothrombin, not homogeneous. 
• She doesnt feel I should give up because of this Adenomyoma. If it shrinks, even a little, she said to do the transfer. She reminded me that plenty of women can go on to have successful pregnancies with fibroids/adenomyomas. She feels my RE just wants things as optimal as possible based on our history. 

I also hit up my family Dr. today. She has prescribed me a medication that will balance me out while on the Lupron Depot (a.k.a. Stop me from being completely crazy).  

This anti-anxiety medication is used frequently to treat women in menopausal states, which is ideal for my situation since that is exactly what the Lupron will be putting me in. Of course, it has absolutely 0 estrogen in it.  It will take about 3 weeks for it to fully kick in, and is not meant to be used longer than a few months at a time. I plan to use it throughout the duration of the Lupron (3 months), and go off it before another FET. My RE is good with this too, as there are no counteracting agents between the 2 medications. 

Overall today was a very good day! I saw 2 doctors, both of which are looking out for my overall well being, physically and mentally. I had some fears about my future, and they have been put to rest. Here’s to new beginnings!