This week has been tough overall, but today took the cake.
There really wasnt 1 particular event that took place today that sticks out, it was more of a build-up of things leading up to it I think.
Tuseday was my first day back to work after being off for over 2 weeks. As a teacher, going back after Christmas break is probably the worst thing ever (in my opinion). Heres why. After Thanksgiving break, you know Christmas is around the corner. With Spring break, the end is near. But the new year, its high stress time in the school system. Testing, testing, testing! Need I say more testing? Ugh.
Anyways, as you can see, getting back into the routine is not easy. For the kids either might I add. Well, my first day back at it, I found out my formal observation would be in a week. Every teacher in the county has 1 per year here in FL. Basically, your adminstrator comes in and watches everything you & your kids do for an hour, writes it all down, scores you, then conferences with you about it after. So that notice threw me into a whirl wind of pre-planning, planning, replanning, and finalizing planning. Still not done.
To top it off, I had a parent conference & a team meeting that I had to present information from a county data meeting I attended right when we returned. Grades had to be finalized too. In addition, I spent time setting up the spring online college course that was supposed to start this week, only to find out it was cancelled due to low enrollment. I was annoyed I spent time setting it up, but at this point, actually happy to take a break from it until the summer.
Then, I came home two days in a row this week to find my little dog, Rocket (my baby!) pooping in the house & throwing up. He never ever does this. I was, of course, a wreck. I am taking him to the vet tomorrow and hoping its something minor.
Next up, the fertility clinic called this a.m. to inform us that the SA I dropped off for hubby over my break got screwed up by the lab. Meaning they didnt do an analysis, only a culture. Which in turn means no count. Are you kidding me? If we want one, he will have to redo it again. Im sure he will be thrilled. Ha. Yea right.
Finally, the last part of my rant…all of our furniture has to be out of our bedroom by Sunday because we are getting new flooring put in on Monday. Hubby was supposed to be off tomorrow so we could do this together, but now he has to work. Yea, you guessed it, Ill be doing *some* stuff on my own.
Who knows what else has happened this week and/or today, other than my neck and back killing me & not sleeping well. None of this may seem that awful. Im sure its reallynot. Maybe its the Lupron finally kicking in making me feel like I am losing it. I know it is definitely making me forget things here & there, & in 1 week, Ill be getting my 2nd injection! Needless to say, when I left work today I was on the verge of tears. I felt like throwing in the towel. TGIF!
I am officially 33 now. In actuality, the day wasnt that bad after all. I totally worked myself up for nothing.
In fact, the day was pretty nice. I was woken by my husband with 2 sweet cards and a giftbox. One of the cards was a birthday card, the other a just because card. I must share with you the just because card.
A little background to the card first. Many of you know that our Chihuahua fur baby, Nacho, passed away over a year ago. I miss him everyday. When my hubby was at Walgreens looking for my b-day card, he came across this.
Unreal! What are the chances of finding a card that has your dog’s name and breed, and looks almost identical (see the real Nacho below)?!? Such a sweet reminder that he is looking over me each day.
My hubby purchased a lovely Northface jacket that I can take on our trip up north in a just few weeks. I love it! Then I went on to work as usual after our morning together. There I was showered with love from my amazing team of teachers. They even ordered a yummy lunch for me! This is a big deal in teacherland because we cant leave for lunch. They made it happen though. I took my class out for recess, even though it wasn’t our regular day to go out, and the kids were like, “but it’s Wednesday!” My reply was “but it’s my Birthday!” Haha. They took it. One of my students even gave me a pretty candle.
When I arrived home from work, my mom had left some things on our kitchen table for me to open. A gift card for a mani/pedi, a fondue set, and an adult coloring book. I cried when I opened the coloring book because I have been wanting a bible verse one for quite awhile now! I have several other types but the bible ones are not as easy to find. I mentioned it one day to my mom and she remembered, which really made me feel special. Here is a picture of all the spoiling that took place from friends, co-workers, my spouse, and my mom & stepdad…
My dad and stepmom also sent me much love from out of state with this adorable Coach clutch, just my style!
That evening, my love and I went to dinner. We ordered way too much food! Two appetizers, salads, bread, and our main courses. There was NO way I could do dessert.
At the end of the night, we booked a getaway to the Gaylord Palms Resort in Orlando. I am thrilled!! We only live a hop, skip, & a jump away from this area, yet we have never been to this resort. I have driven by it millions of times on our way to Disney, but that’s the extent of it. At Christmas time, they go all out. The hotel is an atrium with a massive tree in the center, 22 million lights, and a program they put on called ICE! Its only 9 degrees inside of ICE. Brrrr! I will be sure to post pics of this experience after.
I seriously havent felt so spoiled in such a long time. I know I have said it before, but I will say it again, I am so blessed to have such an amazing support system in my life!! I think 33 might be my year!!
Since my post Halloween rant, I have brainstormed all the reasons why November is going to be such a marvelous month…
We gained an hour of sleep this month. I love sleep.
My birthday is November 4. Must be an awesome month!
I work a total of just 16 days. Hearing that makes it oh-so-do-able.
By the end of this month, we will reach the half way point of the 180 school/work year…yes, you heard right!
I get to do fun, yet educational Thanksgiving activities with my students.
We are going on vacation and will get to kick back and relax while we see great family and friends.
In honor of prepping for vacation, I am getting a manicure, pedicure, and my hair done.
Such delicious food this month. I love food.
The stores will put away all of their Halloween crap, and bring out the real Christmas stuff. Up until November, Christmas only gets 1 aisle because of Halloween. No more! This makes me feel like I can really start buying presents.
I get to start decorating for Christmas. Those of you who know me know I like to go all out.
Christmas music will officially be on the radios and likewise, the shows will be on TV.
I get to make my famous fruit turkey (pictures to follow).
The weather must cool down this month.
It is the 5 year anniversary of rescuing our amazing dog, Rocket.
The Ohio State v. Michigan game is this month. This is a big deal to mid westerners. Might I add, we will be in Ohio for the game, which hasnt been the case since 2002.
We are getting some very special, professional photos taken. I am so excited about this opportunity. I will do a separate post about this.
I have 1 more Stitch Fix delivery on its way before I go on my every 3 month schedule.
Mockingjay Part 2 comes out. Yes.
November will continue to remain 1 of the only untainted IVF RPL months in our history.
We are one month closer to bringing home our baby.
I think I could keep going, but I will leave you with the best ones. For each of the 10 negatives I gave you yesterday, I was able to (easily) come up with 2 positives today. Happy November everyone!
Here is my Negative Nelly (PMS) post for the day…the top 10 reasons why Halloween sucked this year-
We didn’t have our babies here to put those cute “My First Halloween” shirts on, as we were supposed to. These types of photos continually flooded my FB feed all day and night.
We didn’t have a kid to dress up and take trick or treating, and subsequently argue with about much candy they were allowed to eat.
We have no kids that trick or treat in our neighboorhood-literally we do not get even 1 knock on our door, and its not like we live in the boon docks or something. Weird.
It was 88 degrees. Seriously? Who wants a heat wave on Halloween?
I went to Publix to grocery shop. I got in line at the deli. The guy who waited on me wanted to make small talk and I really wasnt in the mood. Long story short, he asked me if I had any kids. When I told him I didnt, he had the NERVE to ask my why not. You have got to be kidding me! I cant even go to the grocery store without encountering a person who has no regard of how to mind their own business. Its one thing to ask me if I have kids, but to go on to pry as to why I dont, when we are complete strangers and not only that, we are at your place of work, totally boggles my mind. You might be wondering how I answered. I’m surprised I didnt tell him off; instead I pulled my teacher card excuse out and stated, “oh I am around 20 of them everyday.” He left me alone. I should have reported his ass.
My husband was on call for the holiday. I hate holidays without him.
I woke up with a pounding headache and scratchy throat. Hope I’m not getting sick.
I had to work pretty much all day on the virtual course I teach at the college.
No pumpkins were carved this Halloween.
Lastly, I miss my dog, Nacho. We used to dress him up for Halloween often. I looked through some old pictures of his costumes and it must have set me off. I balled my eyes out to the point of choking and trying to catch my breath as I tightly squeezed my other half. I still blame myself for a lot of how my almost 17 year old baby spent his last days, and unfortunately I rehashed it yesterday. About once every 3 months since he has been gone I do this. Hard to believe he had been gone for 16 months now.
Nacho & I Halloween 2007
Okay, my rant is over now…And so is Halloween, thank God! I have never been a fan of it, but something about this year made it much more noticable than usual.
Anyways, I am so ready for my 2 favorite holidays, what I like to call the real holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas. See ya later, October! Welcome November!
In my previous post, “Our Furbabies-Part 1,” I posted about our lovely furbaby, Rocket. I saved part 2 for our second dog, who is not the alpha of the two, Jax. Jax is a 2 year old, Bluetick Beagle/Hound mix.
After our Chihuahua, Nacho, passed away, we knew we wanted to get another dog. We started looking pretty soon after, but it took us about 3 months to find the right one. Rocket had gotten very used to having another dog around, and it was obvious he was feeling lonely as the sole dog in the home. Hubby and I had also gotten used to each having a dog to walk and take care of. When Nacho was around he was “my” dog, and Rocket was my husbands. Now, Rocket was “my” dog, and my husband needed “his” dog.
We both knew that we did not want another Chihuahua right away. We wanted a dog of a different breed, one that would not compete with Nachos legacy left behind. That being said, I started looking online at different rescue groups and going to a few humane societies in the area.
Eventually, I came across a beagle rescue group located a few hours north of us. My mom owns a beagle, and my husband has always been in love with her and her (sometimes naughty) demeanor. Anyways, we agreed on a beagle we both thought was cute so I filled out the application online. The lady in charge of the group called me back pretty quickly. She wanted pictures of my fenced yard (requirement for a beagle) and quizzed me on my experience with the (sometimes naughty) breed. We set up a visit to go see this beagle, who at the time had the name “Jaimie.” Strange name for a boy dog if you ask me!
His story was that he came from Tennessee. He was found as a stray with another female beagle, and was turned over to the pound there. The rescue group decided to take him, and he rode with a truck driver from TN to FL. He was assumed to be about 1 year old at the time he went to the rescue group, and just a few months older than that when we found him.
Upon arriving to the group, we waited for them to bring him outside. He came out and immediately seemed like a lover. We spent some time with him, and decided to take him home with us to keep. Thankfully, Rocket and him have gotten along great. In fact, they are truly inseparable best buds.
Snuggle time!Jax enjoying the beachPalsHe is a lookerJax and his dadThat face just has naughty written all over itJax spooning Rocket!Just the two of usIn the cage together…on their own accordThe boys lounging in my Papasan
Jax is a definitely a lover, and he is most definitely true to his breed! He has chewed up lots of shoes, socks, undies, hair ties, and blankets, eaten a nice sized hole in our mattress, dined on his own droppings, and so much more. He has already cost us a pretty penny, and Im sure will continue to do so. However, my husband is beyond satisified with his man dog, and I would be lying if I said that Jax hasnt brought an unusual amount of laughter into our home throughout some incredibly tough times over the past year we have had.
A piece of me died with every child we lost. Sounds morbid, but its true. Little by little, day by day, I began to notice all of the pieces of my heart that were gone. Those pieces will always be gone, tucked away in a place now solely reserved for my grieving.
Throughout our recurrent losses, we have been supported by friends, family, coworkers, bloggers, etc. We have posted about our gratitude towards them a few times. But we have also had another major support system in our lives that we have not talked much about, who has made the remaining pieces of our hearts so full..our furbabies.
Not too long ago, I mentioned that a post about them was long overdue, so here is part 1. Some of you may know that we currently have 2 boy dogs, one who is 6 yrs. old, and the other who is 2 yrs. old. Part 1 will be dedicated solely to our 6 yr. old…seniority rules. LOL.
One day, back in 2010, I was lounging around the house during Thanksgiving break and decided that I would go tanning. I was only about 5 minutes down a busy road close to home when I saw a little chocolate covered dog running across it.
I should have prefaced this post by saying what a HUGE animal (specifically dog) lover I am. I have a major soft spot for them. Anyways, when I took this drive back in 2010, we only owned our adored Chihuahua who was then 12 yrs. old (Sadly, he passed away at almost 17 yrs.old in 2014). Our Chihuaha was spoiled, and not the nicest, so we never really considered getting another dog. But when I saw that little dog running down the road, I had to stop to help him. I knew he was going to get hit soon, as he was weaving in and out of traffic.
Initially, I pulled over and tried to call him to me. Just as he would get really close and I would try to pick him up, he would sprint away. I could see he had no collar on. I followed him down side streets, sometimes on foot, sometimes in my car. He was the fastest dog I had ever seen…seriously. People came out of their houses and tried to help me catch him. One guy brought out a collar with a leash, another tried luring him in with dog treats, and another brought out her very large dog. No luck. All of these methods failed, especially the big dog attempt–this little guy got so scared. After a certain amount of time, all of the different people trying to help would say sorry and give up. I kept chasing him.
I eventually called my husband and told him what was going on. He told me I was nuts. I begged him to come where I was and to bring a net or something. I thought maybe we could throw it on the guy & trap him. My husband found us and we tried my idea out…another fail. At this point, we were back on a main road and I was sure he was going to get hit right in front of my eyes. I will never forget the one vehicle that zoomed by him, it had to have only been 2 ft.away as it went by him and I turned my head.
We came up with a new idea. My moms female beagle was back at our house with our Chihuahua. I asked my husband to go get the beagle and bring her to us. I thought maybe this little intact boy dog would be attracted to a little girl dog, and I was right…he was! It wasnt easy, but he followed her on foot quite a ways until we lured him into our backyard and shut the gate behind him. Finally! It took hours.
We put up signs, called the local shelters, and animal control to see if anyone was missing a dog. Nothing. I took him to my vet to determine if he was microchipped, but he wasnt. Soon it became apparent that whoever owned this dog did not want him. He had worms and was very skinny. He was scared to death to be touched or held, to the point of going to the bathroom when we tried. The vet believed he was only about a year old at the time, and most likely a Manchester Terrier/Chihuahua mix.
My husband wanted to keep this little speed demon right off the bat, but my Chihuhua at the time and I werent so sure. It took me almost a year to finally admit we were keeping him. And I am so glad we did. I cant imagine my life without him now. When our Chihuahua past away in 2014, this little speedy gonzalez, who we had named “Rocket”, was our lifesaver. And every miscarriage, he was there to lick away my tears and lay on my tummy.
Rocket is by far the most loyal and obedient dog I have ever owned. He will give up food, water, going outside, etc. if it means being by my side. And to think he came from an abusive situation just blows my mind. He has finally learned to relax and is so loving towards my husband and I. I think he has begun to forget his past, which I didnt think was even possible. Here are some pics of our guy:
The Rocket man himself!
Thanksgiving 2011, 1 yr after finding Rocket. Our Chihuhua, Nacho, who passed away, is also pictured.Family photo, Christmas 2013…pre-IVF days of our lifeMy man & I loungingRocket doing what he loves most, playing with a bone at his grammas houseSleepy and sooo cute!Hi mom!Sporting his new sweater on our coffee runThose ears!
Loving his dad!
I thank God everyday that I decided to go tanning that winter afternoon 5 years ago. Rocket is my angel, and I feel so blessed to have him here making my heart more full everyday.
Surviving INfertility 