Heterotopic Pregnancy Awareness 

Since my near death experience, and the loss of yet another pregnancy, I have been thinking about if there is some good that could come from it all (other than the beautiful life still inside of my uterus of course). 

Although I do not know the exact answer as to why it all happened to me, and likely never will, I do know that it is now my responsibility to bring awareness to this rare, dangerous condition.  

When I first started experiencing spotting that Thursday morning, I was just 1 day short of 5 weeks pregnant. It was initially light, and mostly brown. I didnt think much of it. I chalked it up to implantation bleeding since it was so early on.  

We had just transferred two beautiful embryos 14 days prior and had received the news it worked. Our betas that week came back very high. We all (doctor included) immediately thought twins. We were thrilled. 

The spotting continued and started to turn to pink and red bleeding. By Sunday, I was experiencing sharp, shooting pains on my left side (posterior) by my hip. I called the on call service at my clinic and they set me up an appointment for Monday morning. I was sure I was miscarrying again. 

Monday morning I went in for an ultrasound. My RE was on vacation so my nurse performed the scan. I was just 5 weeks and 3 days, so there was very well a possibility of seeing nothing. But she did see one gestational and yolk sac. I was initally surprised by only one, especially with my high numbers and transferring 2. She reminded me that by next week we could see the other sac since it was so early on. The scan was over with in a few minutes, and she reassured me that bleeding early on in pregnancy is common. 

I went on my way, grateful that I had a life growing inside of me and that I hadnt miscarried. The bleeding didnt stop though. Within 2 days it was gushing out of me. I went in for a blood test to make sure my levels werent dropping. They were perfect. 

Over the next few days, I bled, passing a few clots and just feeling off. Something didnt seem right. I was 6 weeks and 2 days when things took a turn for the worse. I woke up in the middle of the night to a sharp, stabbing, shooting pain like I had never felt before. Again, it was on my left posterior side by my hip. This time though, a week later, it was much more intense. I got up, and tried to make it to the bathroom as I was seeing stars. It felt as if I had too much to drink and the room was spinning. I was either miscarrying or dying in my mind. I puked in my mouth. It was awful. 

I called the doctor (who was now back in town) the next morning. By this time, I could barely move. It felt as if I was being crushed. I couldnt even take a deep breath. She told me to come in right away. 

Immediately she saw a beating heart. I was happy but knew something still was not right. This time, instead of telling me bleeding is common early on, she started to really scan me. She was in there for about 10 minutes at least, having me move certain ways and such. 

At that point it became clear-our other embryo had implanted into my left tube. It had now ruptured and I was bleeding internally. Blood was all thoughout my stomach, up to my liver. She gave it one more day and I would have been gone. 

The point of me sharing this is to help someone out there. Not once, did anyone, myself included, consider that I could have had a tubal pregnancy until it ruptured. Especially since I had a uterine pregnancy. I do believe if the uterine pregnancy wasnt there, it would have been found sooner. All the signs of a tubal pregnancy were there but we were all blinded. 

In my case, things worked out for the best. My RE was able to remove my tube and save me and my uterine pregnancy. Had my nurse found it when my RE was out of town, I dont know how it would have played out. I know my RE is the only one I wanted operating on me, hence God works in mysterious ways. 

Heterotopic pregnancies via IVF are a 1 in 10,000 occurrence. In natural pregnancies, I believe it is even more rare, not sure of the exact number, something like 1 in 30,000. Many are under the impression that IVF cannot result in a tubal pregnancy, which is simply not the case. When an IVF transfer is done, the embryos are placed into the uterus through a catheter. Hubby & I watched this happen on the screen as little white dots. Once in the uterus, they are basically floating around, looking for a spot to implant. They can go wherever they please. 

In no way am I a doctor, but here are some signs that I feel should not be ignored or accepted as common, especially after placing 2 embryos in the uterus and getting back extremely high betas-

  • Continous bleeding that starts as spotting, goes from brown to pink to red and back again 
  • Sharp shooting pains in the hips on the posterior side 
  • Vision obscured 
  • Having difficulty breathing
  • Feeling that something is just not right (listen to your body!) 

I hope I can turn our sadness to some good, and that this post can save someones life, their tube, their baby, whatever it might be. 

FET #3: In the Thick of the Wait

I guess I must have forgotten how horrendous the 2ww can be. Especially after an IVF transfer. Ugh! 

I can actually say I was happy to go back to work today after being off since Thursday last week. At least at work my mind doesnt have as much time to wonder. At this point, Im mostly just wondering if it even worked or not. I can only see 1 milestone at a time, no further. And to be honest, even at work, when busy, I still caught myself going there from time to time.  Oh well, I guess its the norm with all this right?

Symptoms? 

Ive had quite a bit of achiness and a little cramping on both sides of my uterus today. Im pretty in tune with it, and its been hard to ignore. Really thats all for today.  

Diet? 

Hubs packed all my healthy lunches for the week yesterday. I offered to do it, but he wouldnt let me. He really tried to keep me relaxed & off my feet all weekend. So cute. Anyways, Ive got several salads packed with hard boiled eggs, topped with tons of veggies, P & J sandwiches, hummus dip, beans, etc. Tonight for dinner we had parmesan zucchini crusted chicken breasts with mashed potatoes and green beans. It was delish! 

What else????

Last night I had a dream that we took an HPT and got a positive. I woke up so excited & then realized it was a dream. We really want this to work so badly! I cant even put it into words. 

Yesterday my mom and I went to a local home store so she could pick me up a few more pineapple placemats to go with the ones that my aunt originally bought me (she got me 4, I needed 6).  We got the placemats & I told her I wanted to make a “faith” purchase while we were there. Meaning, I wanted to buy something that shows I believe this is going to work; that we will be bringing home our baby or babies this winter. We walked towards the 1 aisle in the store that carried baby things. As soon as we turned the aisle, the first thing my eyes saw was this…

  

I almost cried. I grabbed it & told my mom it was a sign. If you dont know, our last name is Fish (yes, Fish) and Ive been feeling we will have a girl. My mom said, “well arent you going to get 2?” By the time I was done thinking about it, she had already got it. Then she reminded me how when I was younger she always told me I was going to have twin girls! I had totally forgotten. 

Things I Want the World to Know

If this IVF cycle fails, I already have my next tattoo picked out. Just need to decide on the spot it will go.

I would really like to have a cute, normal pregnancy annoucement one day. I feel like infertility and pregnancy loss have robbed me of this. 

We have decided to transfer 2 embryos again this time (Ill save the logistics of why for a later post). Thats right, we could be twinning soon! We currently have 3 embryos left in all, so after this cycle just 1. The amount of embryos we have transferred each cycle so far has followed the pattern of 1-2-2-

The pattern will continue at 1-2-2-2-

It will eventually end at 1-2-2-2-1.

I prefer the intramuscular injections this cycle over the vaginal inserts (never again) in all of our prior cycles, which I never thought Id say. Dont miss the mess at all. I can deal with a few moments of pain everyday. 

I am struggling to get off the coffee. Not even going to lie. 

I have no clue how I will give up my steaming hot baths that I love in less than a week. I cant bath without it super hot, so that isnt an option. I think I will miss it more than anything else. 

I am already planning out our gender reveal party and baby shower. I know, crazy to some. But I have found having hopes and dreams are much better than not. Our gender reveal will include just close friends and family, and we will most likely have more than 1 shower. If this cycle works out, we want our reveal to be in July & our showers in October/November. 

I know there will always be another milestone to reach from transfer day on out . Here they are as they come to mind-

  • A positive pregnancy test 
  • Rising betas (3 blood draws over 3 days during wks 4/5)
  • Viability ultrasound at 7 wks 
  • Passing 10 wks (the furthest along we have ever been) 
  • First trimester ending at 13 wks 
  • Cervix not shortening 
  • Anatomy scan at 20 wks
  • Viability at 24 wks 
  • I cant think any further than this! 

Thanks for listening to all my rambling! 

Transfer Day “Stuff”

One benefit to being an IVF vet is that you know what to expect on transfer day and can prepare for it (for the most part).  

Since this is our 4th transfer (4th times a charm!), I feel more prepared than ever before. I am not really talking mentally, although I do feel good about that too. I am referring more to the fun (oh Lord, did I just say fun!?) side of all this I guess? If there is such a thing?! 

Anyways, here is what I have planned so far for FET #3, transfer day #4 (still a few weeks away)-

Transfer Day Shirt-Of course none other than a pineapple would be acceptable (followed by eating some pineapple core)! 

  

Transfer Day Pineapple Socks– ordered online & never worn before! Waiting for the big day to sport these.

  

Transfer Day Pink & Blue Baby Charm Bracelet-passed down to me by a family member, and fellow IVFer who had her miracle twin babies. She wore it during her journey, and now I am wearing it through ours.

  

Transfer Day Drink of Choice… Organic, Sparkling Pomegranate (carbonated water)- This old wives tale drink is delish and we have a pretty good stash ready to go post transfer. 
  

Transfer Day Snack of Choice…Brazilian Nuts! Another old wives tale for sticky feet. All stocked up!

  


Transfer Day Reading-recommended to me from a few ladies in my IG community. This book is so adorable & perfect for any couple trying to conceive! 

  

Transfer Day Therapy- Circle + Bloom meditation continues. Except now its transfer day/post transfer listening time!!!

  

Im sure a few other transfer day things will be planned as we get closer, but I just couldnt contain myself from being excited and thinking about it all today!! 

Prayers for a nice, thick lining at Mondays appointment. 


January 28, 2015

  

A year ago today we found out we lost baby B, but that baby A, who we later named Isaiah (above), was measuring perfect at 8w4d, and his heart was beating just as it should.  

   
    

I remember how he was jumping around like a little jelly bean during the ultrasound! We could even see his little feet! 

My singleton due date was officially set for 9-5-14.  

Little did we know we would not make it until that day with him, or even get to see another ultrasound of him alive. 

Always thinking of you, and trying to make you proud of your mommy, my precious angel babies 💙💗

Lupron Injection #2 

We are 2/3 of the way through treatment as of today! Woot woot! I got my 2nd injection done this morning and it was just a *little* bit worse than the first time. 

The only reason I think it was more painful today was because I knew what to expect and thus, I tensed up the muscle pretty good when the needle was going in. By the time she told me not to tense up, it was too late. Lol. But it was still over rather quickly & Im just happy its done! 

On my way out we set up 3 more appointments-

  1. Injection #3 (the final one)
  2. Hysteroscopy 
  3. FET consult with RE for our dates/plan

I was also given a script for some bloodwork. A total CBC and beta before the hysteroscopy, and then another one for all my levels before the actual FET. My nurse confirmed they got my most recent pap results from my OB while I was there today too. Overall, I felt like it was a very productive visit! 

After the appointment, my mom & I went to lunch by the water at our favorite spot by my RE’s office. 

  
Almost exactly a year ago to the day, we ate there together after one of the twins (good) ultrasounds.  We discussed this briefly, but there was a sense of peace with it.  I shared with my mom an image of the grief cycle and how I feel I am *mostly* on the up & up now.  

  

Lunch was delicious as always, and we browsed a few of the fancy shops afterwards for fun (most of the tank tops are like $80 each and there are no sale racks!). Finally, we stopped by a plant nursery on our way home since my mom is redoing her landscaping.  The weather is absolutely gorge out today, mid-60’s and sunny.  

Now its time to ice/heat this buttocks of mine so it doesnt cramp up! It already has a few times since earlier this morning 😳

On This Day a Year Ago

  
We found out we were expecting twins from our 2nd FET. 

We saw the flickers and heard the beautiful sounds of their beating hearts on this very day 1 year ago. Something that will never be forgotten. 

Sweet baby A and sweet baby B, today we will be thinking of you even more than we usually do 💗💙