Meds

After our FET that just failed, we have been stuck with over a thousand dollars worth of unused meds. It makes me sick to see them so I have stashed them away in my closet for the time being. Throwing them in the trash also makes me somewhat sick considering they were so darn expensive. Yes, I know I could donate them, and as a last resort I am sure I will, but I would like to somehow justify the costs in my mind after spending a small fortune on assisted reproduction the past 6 years, all of which was not covered by insurance at all. Even recouping a small amount for them would be satisfying.

I have 4 boxes of unopened Crinone (quite possibly the most expensive drug on the planet) that do not expire for several years. I also have unopened Progesterone in Oil, DelEstrogen, & Estrace. If a fellow blogger out there needs any of these expensive IVF meds, I would be willing to discount them significantly. Feel free to comment or email me at angvfish@icloud.com

Welcome April!

Our final (yes, final) lining check was today, and I am happy to report that my lining made it to a solid 8! Woohoo!

My RE was not there for my scan, as today is her surgery day. So my nurse scanned me and saw what appeared to be a tiny bubble underneath my uterine lining. Of course, I started to freak out a bit. She showed me the screen so I would calm down. I asked for her to have my RE call me to discuss what it was. 

As I was driving home, my mind was racing…is it fluid? The mass coming back? Will the cycle be cancelled? How much money will we lose? How will I handle this mentally? Was it all too good to be true? Yet all the while, I am trying to stay positive thinking about my trilaminar 8 mm lining, God is good, if it is fluid we can just suck it out before transfer, etc. 

I took a nap after I got home because I knew my RE wouldnt be able to call me until after 5 and I didnt want to sit around pondering all the possibilities. When I woke up, my phone was ringing; my RE was phoning me from the hospital. I can immediately tell by her voice if it is going to be good news or bad news. It sounded good. Phew, a sigh of relief! 

She informed me right away that it was not a mass or fluid. She said it is a small, subendometrial cyst of no concern. Anyone ever have one? She went on to say many women have these and achieve and maintain pregnancies, and that my uterus looks the best this cycle than any of the 3 prior. This cyst is not in the cavity, and it will not block baby from implanting/growing/and so forth. 

Side note: I did a little of my own research to be sure its okay. Not that I dont trust my RE, because I do. In the past, if she has had a concern, she tells us outright, no beating around the bush with it. But for some reason, investigating on my own helps me seal the deal. This being said, I am not going to stress over this cyst. 

Anyways, I thanked her for personally calling me (she said she assumed I was worrying), I asked a few questions, and we confirmed transfer this upcoming week. I start PIO injections everyday in the butt tomorrow morning! I dont think Ive ever been so happy to get a shot. Lol. 

Shortly after all this, my doorbell rang and a care package had arrived for us from a fellow warrior who is my dear cousin. I opened it up & this is what I found…

  
How absolutely perfect the timing was-pineapple pillows and a yogi card! We are so blessed to have wonderful, supportive people in our lives. One of the reasons I am glad we dont hide our infertility and pregnancy loss from the world. Thank you everyone for your ongoing support! 

FET #3-Lining Check #3 & Other Musings

Today was bloodwork & lining check #3 for this cycle!

Here are our results so far-

• Baseline scan-3mm
• Check #1-5mm
• Check #2-6mm
• Check #3-7.5 mm!!

We are thrilled with todays results! I was honestly worried it wouldnt make it to a 7. We are sooo thankful it did, as studies show the pregnancy rates between a lining of a 7 and 8 are the same. And the cherry on top is that I have until Friday for it to grow a little more! It would be awesome if it does do that, but even if it doesnt we are okay with it. Friday will be my last scan and blood draw before we add in the progesterone Saturday & transfer next week (yes, you heard me right…transfer next week!! Ekkk!).  

I got to see the screen again today when I was scanned, and I must say my uterus is looking really good compared to how it has in the past. My lining is clearly triple striped, no fluid, masses, or any other crazy stuff going on! Thank God. So far there have not been any roadblocks this cycle. Maybe its a sign from Him of good things to come! 

In other news, my in-laws came in from Ohio for a few days last week which was nice. I was on spring break (that ended today) so I was able to entertain more than I normally could. Hubby took off 3 work days as well, which ended up giving us 5 days in a row off together with the weekend. 

We ate out quite a bit (I still tried to keep it healthy), sun bathed a little (I finally got a base tan going), and attended my friends going away party with them. The party was a blast, and my face hurt by the end of the night from smiling and laughing so much. Good times. 

  
   
 

After they left, we were pretty lazy. We watched movies, ate in, and slept in. We did a little shopping too. Hubby picked out this cute pineapple headband for me, and an amazing friend of mine surprised me with pineapple earrings in the mail! I bought myself some cute band-aids to cover my injection sites, total score here! 

   

    

We ended our break celebrating Easter Sunday with my family. I felt a renewed sense of energy and actually took the time to get dressed up, curl my hair, and put on make-up (big deals for me!) for dinner. I got lots of compliments from hubs and them which was sweet! 

  
Hope everyone had a blessed Easter! He is risen! 

Tips Needed

Okay ladies! Its time for you to give me all the tips you have on intramuscular  injections like PIO and Del Estrogen.  I know if anyone has the best kept secrets its you all! Most doctors and nurses havent had those shots injected into their own ass, and although they give valuable tips, they are just not as valuable as yours Im sure. Experience is everything here! 

I did notice that my calendar says to do the PIO shots in the a.m. Im not sure why and need to ask.  Anyone else had the same? Might be an issue in the morning with mine and hubbys schedule if he has to do them for me. Anyone out there do their own PIO or Del injections? I must admit I did my own ass trigger shot because I hated the idea of someone else doing it for me. Although I pulled it off, it wasnt easy to do by any means. 

Until the Lupron Depot shots Ive had the past few months, no one had ever injected me in the butt. Lol.  Id much rather do my own shots, but I have a feeling its not going to be possible with these two. Can I do them myself? And what about heat, ice, position, etc.? Please inform! 

Keep in mind I have never done either of these two intramuscular injections before (just the trigger) so no info will be silly to me. All will be considered and appreciated.  I have only done Crinone with Vivelle/Estrace for my prior 3 transfers. Im thinking I will have my nurse mark the areas to aim for with a marker before I do the first one on my own?

Thanks in advance for taking the time to educate me in this area!

Special Delivery!

All of our goodies arrived via overnight this a.m. We gave each other the look when the doorbell rang and we received the box.  

The conversation that followed went something like this-

Me: Do you want to open it now?

Him: Sure! Im excited, are you? 

Me: Sort of, but Im nervous too.  Maybe we should wait to open it.

Him: Okay. 

Me: Nevermind, lets open it now.  Will you open it?

Him: Alright (starts opening it)

Hubs went through the prescription list, checking off each item as I pulled them out of the box. Everything was correct!

   
 
I cant believe we are doing this again. And with all these needles this time (so huge they are!). Ill be good though, not too worried about the needles. After I get over the initial injections, it will be fine.

I just want this all to work! I start my meds tomorrow, so today I will enjoy our last day/night pre-cycle, which might include some wine! 

FET 3 Protocol

Let me start out by saying that I had my final, 3rd injection of the Lupron in my behind yesterday…hooray! I am so glad I have reached this milestone. I am also so thankful to God that my side effects have been very minimal, which was a huge fear of mine going into it. He has 100% answered our prayers with this.

After my injection, I sat down with our list of questions with my RE. She pulled up the scan I had last month when I was bleeding and compared it with the scan I had that showed my mass a few months prior to the Lupron treatment. Good news-the mass wasnt showing on the scan from last month. Of course we cant be sure it is completely gone until my Hysteroscopy in a few short weeks, but its a great sign so far. If its not gone, its at least shrunk! Another answered prayer. 

We discussed immune therapy with intralipids and IVIG, the differences between them, my antiphosphilid results, the studies, etc. Based on my panels and our discussions, and although they offer them at one our of their clinics, I wont be doing these treatments at this time. I feel good about this decision.

Next up was the Crinone v. PIO talk. Ive always been on Crinone for my transfers (fresh & frozen) whereas the recommended protocol for most FETs is PIO. My progesterone levels have always been great, even when we experienced losses. I pretty much refused them in fear of hitting a sciatic nerve or something, (I know not likely) but I have chronic, horrible spinal issues to begin with, and couldnt stand the thought of any additional back pain. My RE was always OK with our decision because of my reasoning. However, I am now ready to go all in and give myself those ugly intramuscular ass shots everyday for 12 weeks (I hope!!) at this point instead of using the Crinone gel. I dont want to look back and feel there was ANYTHING more I could have done. This means no more vivelle either, DEL it is. I know so many of you ladies do it, and I can do it too. I just had to be ready and I am.  I know its not that bad and Ill be just fine!

We are still undecided on the Lovenox, or blood thinner this time around. We talked about it and it could go either way. I am pretty sure this will be a last minute, go with your gut decision. I have plenty leftover from our last FET.

We moved conversation on to the Zika virus. Ugh. My RE showed me some things recently released by the CDC. Although no mosquitos with it have been found here in Florida yet, it is predicted they will be here by the spring due to our climate (right when we transfer!). There isnt much we can do, other than wear bug protectant, stay indoors at night, away from water, and wear condoms when we have intercourse. If hubby got bit, he could easily give it to me. You can get bit and be asymptomatic too. No immunizations will be available for a long time it seems, as I asked because I seriously considered waiting it out to transfer. 

I live next to two empty lots and have some water behind my house. We usually get eaten alive during the summer months.  Its horrible. Needless to say, I think Ill be investing in a HazMat suit soon to be safe. Doubt that, but I have already started reading into Essential Oil mosquito repellent blends I can apply and such. I wont be using and inhaling a chemical based product everyday when pregnant thats for sure. We arent sure about our Bahamas cruise either now with this crap. Going to play this one by ear and see how things play out over the next few months with the virus. Trying not to stress about it, just be proactive. Not like we can control nature. 

On my way out I saw my very pregnant nurse. You might recall me posting about this a few weeks back and how incredibly tough it was. This time when I saw her, I hugged her and told her congratulations. I didnt plan to do it, it just happened that way. I think I just needed time to process it all. God made it really easy for me to be happy and at peace when I saw her this time. Again, an answered prayer! 

Anyways, I called WIN fertility for a bundled FET price quote, got all my presciptions handed to me for upcoming bloodworks, and so forth. The most exciting part of the day was setting up my calendar and transfer date! It made it all feel so real again. We will be transferring almost 2 years ago to the day of our first transfer.  I am ready and praying for all good things. Really, just praying its His timing now, because if its not, I know it wont happen.