Welcome April!

Our final (yes, final) lining check was today, and I am happy to report that my lining made it to a solid 8! Woohoo!

My RE was not there for my scan, as today is her surgery day. So my nurse scanned me and saw what appeared to be a tiny bubble underneath my uterine lining. Of course, I started to freak out a bit. She showed me the screen so I would calm down. I asked for her to have my RE call me to discuss what it was. 

As I was driving home, my mind was racing…is it fluid? The mass coming back? Will the cycle be cancelled? How much money will we lose? How will I handle this mentally? Was it all too good to be true? Yet all the while, I am trying to stay positive thinking about my trilaminar 8 mm lining, God is good, if it is fluid we can just suck it out before transfer, etc. 

I took a nap after I got home because I knew my RE wouldnt be able to call me until after 5 and I didnt want to sit around pondering all the possibilities. When I woke up, my phone was ringing; my RE was phoning me from the hospital. I can immediately tell by her voice if it is going to be good news or bad news. It sounded good. Phew, a sigh of relief! 

She informed me right away that it was not a mass or fluid. She said it is a small, subendometrial cyst of no concern. Anyone ever have one? She went on to say many women have these and achieve and maintain pregnancies, and that my uterus looks the best this cycle than any of the 3 prior. This cyst is not in the cavity, and it will not block baby from implanting/growing/and so forth. 

Side note: I did a little of my own research to be sure its okay. Not that I dont trust my RE, because I do. In the past, if she has had a concern, she tells us outright, no beating around the bush with it. But for some reason, investigating on my own helps me seal the deal. This being said, I am not going to stress over this cyst. 

Anyways, I thanked her for personally calling me (she said she assumed I was worrying), I asked a few questions, and we confirmed transfer this upcoming week. I start PIO injections everyday in the butt tomorrow morning! I dont think Ive ever been so happy to get a shot. Lol. 

Shortly after all this, my doorbell rang and a care package had arrived for us from a fellow warrior who is my dear cousin. I opened it up & this is what I found…

  
How absolutely perfect the timing was-pineapple pillows and a yogi card! We are so blessed to have wonderful, supportive people in our lives. One of the reasons I am glad we dont hide our infertility and pregnancy loss from the world. Thank you everyone for your ongoing support! 

FET #3-Lining Check #3 & Other Musings

Today was bloodwork & lining check #3 for this cycle!

Here are our results so far-

• Baseline scan-3mm
• Check #1-5mm
• Check #2-6mm
• Check #3-7.5 mm!!

We are thrilled with todays results! I was honestly worried it wouldnt make it to a 7. We are sooo thankful it did, as studies show the pregnancy rates between a lining of a 7 and 8 are the same. And the cherry on top is that I have until Friday for it to grow a little more! It would be awesome if it does do that, but even if it doesnt we are okay with it. Friday will be my last scan and blood draw before we add in the progesterone Saturday & transfer next week (yes, you heard me right…transfer next week!! Ekkk!).  

I got to see the screen again today when I was scanned, and I must say my uterus is looking really good compared to how it has in the past. My lining is clearly triple striped, no fluid, masses, or any other crazy stuff going on! Thank God. So far there have not been any roadblocks this cycle. Maybe its a sign from Him of good things to come! 

In other news, my in-laws came in from Ohio for a few days last week which was nice. I was on spring break (that ended today) so I was able to entertain more than I normally could. Hubby took off 3 work days as well, which ended up giving us 5 days in a row off together with the weekend. 

We ate out quite a bit (I still tried to keep it healthy), sun bathed a little (I finally got a base tan going), and attended my friends going away party with them. The party was a blast, and my face hurt by the end of the night from smiling and laughing so much. Good times. 

  
   
 

After they left, we were pretty lazy. We watched movies, ate in, and slept in. We did a little shopping too. Hubby picked out this cute pineapple headband for me, and an amazing friend of mine surprised me with pineapple earrings in the mail! I bought myself some cute band-aids to cover my injection sites, total score here! 

   

    

We ended our break celebrating Easter Sunday with my family. I felt a renewed sense of energy and actually took the time to get dressed up, curl my hair, and put on make-up (big deals for me!) for dinner. I got lots of compliments from hubs and them which was sweet! 

  
Hope everyone had a blessed Easter! He is risen! 

FET #3: Stims Days 5-10

So far, so good! Nothing really new to report.  Mainly, I just feel like blogging so I figure I will record how the past 5 days of this cycle have gone!

Have been eating super healthy everyday, with the exception of a delicious Kit-Kat bar during lunch the other day. Meals have consisted of Quinoa, Garbanzo beans, avocado, sweet potatoes, organic chicken breast, grass fed beef, whole grains, eggs, protein shakes, salads, etc.  Will continue to keep this up.  

The rapsberry tea I am drinking every day after work is causing me to pee more in the middle of the night than usual. Ugh. I really need to drink it in the mornings, but I dont want to be peeing non-stop while Im teaching either. Since Spring Break starts tomorrow, maybe I will try it out in the mornings and see if it helps. Im peeing about 4 times a night now compared to my usual 2 times. Annoying, but prep for being preggo again I guess!

Circle + Bloom meditation is still going strong. Im now on CD 2, part 4. I have only missed 2 days since suppression started, and I was just too beat to get in the mood for it those nights. The power of the mind is amazing to me. During meditation, I have been able to shrink myself down into a mini size and get into my uterus! Sounds crazy right? Lol. Its part of the program, getting things all perfect in there for baby. I am proud of myself for being able to connect my mind and body so deeply. Pretty cool, and relaxing. 

Started Folgard 1x per day this week. I start vaginal viagra (I KNOW… wt*) this Sunday. What woman has to go on viagra? This one! This will boost my lining even more. Anything for baby, right? Anyways, who has been on this before? Hopefully no horror stories? Only on it for 5 days in all so not too bad. Oh, and for various reasons, we decided I will not be doing the Lovenox bloodthinner this cycle. Feeling satisfied with our decision about this. 

My in-laws from Ohio will be in for a few days next week during my break.  We are looking forward to this, and hubby took a few days off to hang with us. Im hoping to get some Vitamin D at the beach! The summer weather is back, its been hitting the 80’s again everyday, and I need a tan majorly. 

Hubby and I started watching that new OJ series on demand. Takes me back to the 90s and watching the live trial. Some of it pisses me off, like how did this guy seriously get off?!? Oh, and John Travolta…dear Lord! What did he do to his face? I cant take it! Anyone else notice this? 

Hoping everyone has a blessed week! Will update after Mondays lining check 😊

FET 3: Lining Check #1

Today was lining check number 1! Last week at my day 3 ultra, my lining was thin as it should be, measuring 3 mm. We hoped to see it increase by a few millimeters at todays appointment, and the good (actually great) news is that it did! 

Lining today measured a solid 5 after 1 week of stims. This may not seem like much to most, but if you have followed for awhile, you might recall lining was a little bit of an issue in the past with our first 2 transfers. 

• Fresh transfer-lining of a 7 
• FET 1-lining of a 6 (almost cancelled)
• FET 2- lining of a 10(this was on extended stims). Note: I will have an extra week of stims this cycle since it seemed to help the cycle when I got up to a 10. 

That being said, we are praying for my lining to be a 7 or 8 next week, and close to a 10 or 11 the following right before transfer and progesterone is started. Last FET it seemed to increase its thickness by 2 mm every week, hopefully thats the case again this time and we will be all set! My RE is like most, and wants to see at least a 7 or better to transfer.

So the plan is to continue legs up the wall, raspberry tea, daily meditation & prayer, estrogen ass shots and oral pills (levels looked good after blood this a.m.) and all other forms of relaxation and healthiness.  I told the nurse today I am not used to such positive news during a cycle, and she said maybe its just our time! Sure hope so 💗

FET #3: Stims Day 1

So this just happened…

 
Delestrogen injection #1 done in the butt!

I took the medication, needles, and syringe with me to my appointment this morning, hoping my nurse would do the injection for me. Unfortunately, that was not the case, as this shot needs to be done between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. So much for wishful thinking! Hubby came to the rescue and did it tonight for me though. Note: this is a big step…I usually am a control freak and do all my own injections! 

After I listened to my Circle + Bloom CD and ate dinner, we watched a video on how to do the injection, read through the pamphlet, and followed where my nurse had marked. It was pretty straightforward- I leaned over the bed and tried not to put pressure on the side we chose. He was calm, and confident (as usual) something that I admire about him. Helps take some of my crazy away! 

What also helped a lot was the fact that my RE wrote me a prescription for Lidocaine (numbing gel) for us to rub on my ass about an hour before the intramuscular injection. I was not expecting this at all! I simply brought up ice and heat this morning, and she said “how about we give you this so you dont have to worry about doing either?” Thank you Lord for this blessing! We took full advantage of it, numbing the area up real good before the shot. He then massaged after. 

  
I should mention that my ultrasound went as it should this morning, lining is thin, ovaries suppressed, no cysts, etc. My estradiol level came back at 11, also good news. Cant wait to hear how my lining grows over the next week! 

TTC Old Wives Tales

Over the years I have come across plenty of TTC tales. Just as there are Old Wives Tales when it comes to predicting the gender of a baby, there are ones out there on how to up the chances of getting pregnant too.
Unlike the momma-to-be having acne, or baby having a certain heartrate, the tales regarding how to get pregnant seem to revolve mostly around nutrition.  

I should probably have prefaced this post by saying I am *not* superstitious in the least.  I am, however, all about reaping the benefits of eating healthy foods. In my opinion, food is the best medicine out there. So I cant deny that these tales are a little intriguing to me. 

Here are a few TTC tales that stick out-

1. Upping your Bromelian intake, or eating pineapples 🍍🍍🍍 – starting on transfer day, or ovulation day, for about a week, eat a slice of pineapple a day, making sure to keep the core attached to what you eat. I have eaten pineapple on transfer day for a few transfers now. I dont think I continued it past transfer though, not 100% sure.  Supposedly eating this fruit helps with implantation.  Read more about this tale here 
2. Boosting Selenium, or eating (Brazilian) nuts 🌰🌰🌰-never tried this one, although I have heard about it from a lot of you ladies. Again, some suggest it assists with embryo implantation.  Read more here
3. Pom Juice for a healthy uterine lining and increased blood flow-again, never tried this tale. I did try Raspberry Red Leaf Tea for this particular reason during one cycle. It did happen to be the cycle my lining thickened quite a bit, not sure if it played a part in it or not. Poms and other fertility friendly food reading 
4. Keeping your feet warm, or body warm-my nana always taught me this was a smart move since I was a kid, and I have gone on to hear about the health benefits of it in general over the years. I just recently saw it as a TTC tip. More on this here

So my questions for you ladies are…

• Did you try any of these during your cycle? If so, which ones?
• Are there any other tales you think are worth while? 
• Did you achieve success or failure using any of these? 
• If you havent tried any of these yet, do you plan to try any in the future?

I have no idea if I will pursue any of these tales during our future FET or not. I do know I will continue to keep it healthy though which I believe is most important! 

A Scare

Things have been relatively uneventful on the Lupron Depot the past 2 months as Ive said. That was until last week. 

When I first started my menstrual cycle early last week, it was right on time and rather light. I expected it to be light as my RE told me it would be and I also read that it would be.  And my cycles are light to begin with anyways.  

Well that “lightness” lasted about 3 days. Then it got pretty heavy, and that has continued on and off now for about 8 or 9 days. Usually my cycle only lasts 4 days max. Ive lost track of exactly how many days its been going on to be honest. 

I figured I should inform my RE of what was occurring, so I did, and she ordered me to get blood drawn ASAP. There was an immediate concern that the Lupron might not be doing what it should be doing… *SIGH*… seriously?

  

Side note: I cringed when I saw the word “STAT” on the order.  Havent seen that since my beta hell days.  

Well, I got my results back, and thankfully, all of my levels are as they should be if the Lupron is (trying) to do its job shrinking this mass. However, Im still bleeding. My RE doesnt think this is normal, so I am headed in for a scan in a few days just to be safe and cover all our bases. 

Dont ask me what safe would be at this point, because I have no freaking clue. Over the years, Ive learned not to ask too many questions ahead of time, because it can all change at the drop of a hat anyways. I am pretty sure I heard her say something about checking my lining, but I just said “okay.” Ill figure it all out soon enough when I see her. 

Praying that it looks as it should because gosh darn it already….shouldnt something just be easy?!?!

Lining Check #3, 2WW, & “Somethings”

This cycle I ovulated later than the prior 2 months. I got a positive OPK starting on day 16 and it lasted until day 18. Usually my positive test has been lasting only a full day at most, starting on day 14. I was happy about the longer window! 

Day 16 far right

On day 17, I felt the ovulation pains many of you have experienced. I havent had them in a such a long time, I almost forgot what they felt like! As many of you know, last month hubby and I baby danced everyday, twice a day, for 4 days straight (ugh lol!) We did NOT do that this month. The month before that, we BD’d every day, once a day, for 4 days straight. We did NOT do that this month either. Instead we tried to take it easy, and BD’d only every other day, for a total of 4 days. We will see how this worked out in about 10 days…currently in the 2WW. 

Anywho, I got my third lining check and it measured over an 8 again!! Whoot whoot!! Thats 3 months in a row of thick (enough) lining on my own, with no help. Remember, anything an 8 or greater is ideal (some RE’s even say a 7). That said, we are very pleased about my number! I could also see the triple stripe which is great news. My antral follicle count (aka egg reserve) still looks good, about 9 or so on each side.  

  

I got the lining check at the new RE, as our meeting with him just happened to fall during my ovulation  window. We also discussed my HSG more in depth as planned. If you recall correctly, the HSG last week went well overall, but he did say that day that he saw “something” small, which he thought could be scar tissue. 

Well, since he saw “something,” he wants to do an SIS to identify if its scar tissue or perhaps a polyp of some sort. If its a polyp *in the uterine cavity* we would need to do another H/S to remove it. Im not sure how I feel about this. Meaning, I dont know if I am willing to do all this again right now. I asked if a balloon would be involved in this removal, he said it was unlikely, but of course possible. No surprise there, I learned ahwile ago that anything is possible and nothing is guaranteed with all this. 

Then I told him–if it is a polyp or fibroid or whatever AGAIN, obviously they are going to just KEEP coming back. Shit, I just had one removed in May! He begged to disagree with me. He seemed confident that this “something” isnt a huge deal. Easy for him to say right? He hasnt miscarried (potentially with a fibroid as the cause) or been operated on numerous times.  He said the images of the HSG show my uterus looks “good” shape wise, tube wise, size wise, etc.  with the exception of the small “something.” 

The ultrasound lining check also showed “something” unusual in the cavity. So annoying and not what I wanted to hear after getting positive news about my lining.  Whatever this “something” was, I clearly saw it too. He has been practicing for 30 years and he said, “very unusual” and I replied with, “of course it is.”

I probed on whether or not this ultrasound “something” is the same “something” showing on the HSG. Unknown at this time, but he is leaning towards no. Again, not what I wanted to hear. Now we possibly have 2 “things” that may not be related. 

On the ultrasound, this “something” looked like mucus he said (not fluid, polyps or fibroids) which is rare for the location I guess. I was really frustrated and started to tune out at this time. I didnt care to ask about this odd “mucus” if its even harmful, why its caused, or how it goes away. He is hoping the SIS will provide further clarity. Anyone here who has had similar mucus like this, please feel free to share your experiences…I am a feeling like my listening ears are back on now.  I have had fluid, but not mucus, and supposedly there is a difference. 

If we choose to move forward with this new RE, our transfer will be in October sometime. We reviewed the calendars and logistics of it all as our 3 hour meeting came to a close. 

Feeling a little annoyed with the fact that the HSG and ultrasound couldnt look picture perfect at this point.  In June, it all looked just fine. Starting to wonder if my body is just failing and not able to do what it needs to do to even move forward with a FET.  Maybe I am not cut out for this.  

Second Opinion #1

This week has been full of surprises! Right now, I am going to focus on the RE piece, and save the other stuff for later.

We had an appointment with another well-known RE for a 2nd opinion about our IVF and RPL situation this week.  Overall, it went extremely well!  He spent 3 hours (no joke) going through our records and discussing them. 

Before I get into detail, I should first start off by saying that according to ASRM, this clinics success rate for live IVF births is equivalent to the clinic we are at now (about 60% which is quite good if you research clinics across the US).

Here are some of the main points we covered at our consultation:

• I need to be tested for Vitamin D deficiency as I have never been.  Went and got this done today.
• I need to be tested for Celiac Disease.  Celiac disease can be linked to recurrent pregnancy loss, but is not on the usual RPL panel work-up & of course, I have not been tested for it yet either.  You would think since it is a simple blood test, why wouldn’t my current RE just order it? If I did end up having have Celiac disease, it would require a gluten-free diet. I also got this test done today.
• Husband needs to get his testosterone, LH, FSH, Prolactin, etc. run again so we can see if Clomid would be of any use in upping his count.  It has been about 5 years since we tested these in him. They were all in normal range before, so using Clomid was not an option (it doesn’t assist with just a low count, there has to be a hormonal imbalance happening too).  Got this test done this a.m. as well.
• This RE was very impressed with my husbands improvement from pre-varicocele surgery to now, 2 years post surgery.  He said our chances of conceiving on our own have gone from a measly 1% to about 15%.  And if we got him on Clomid, there would be an even higher chance on our own or via IUI, about 25%.  Hey, we will take what we can get here!
• At this clinic, we can pick any day for our transfer, as we go along in our cycle.  It does not need to be done in advance.  This is HUGE to us.  Our current clinic only does transfers 1 week out of the month, and hence, they try to control everyone’s cycles with BC and Lupron, picking out the exact transfer date months in advance.  I despise this! This clinic does transfers 365 days a year if needed, depending on the woman’s individual body/cycle. Just call on day 1 of your period and off to the races you go!
• He would only want to transfer 1 embryo in a future FET.  Great news!!!  Why do we need to transfer two if I get pregnant with twins every time we transfer two?  If we transferred just 1, we would most likely still get pregnant like we did the first time when we transferred 1! Obviously, I do not do very well with twins, and he felt that there is a chance that one twin vanishing could have affected the other making it.  Of course, there are lots of times where one vanishes and the other does perfectly fine, but not always.  There is no solid way to prove or disprove if losing one twin could have played a role in losing the other.  
• He would do a non medicated FET like we have been pushing for.  Since my cycles are regular, & my lining looks well post surgeries, there is no reason not to.  This could involve the use of trigger or not, which we can decide down the road.
• He wants to investigate my super high progesterone levels during each pregnancy. Our current RE said my levels are the highest she has ever seen, but also said it wasn’t an issue as far as loss goes; only low progesterone is a cause of RPL.  I know that low progesterone can cause loss, but there is something strange about how high these levels are when pregnant.  When this RE saw them, he also said they are also the highest he has ever seen.  He has been practicing for 30 years.  Hmmm…sounds fishy to me.  Our last pregnancy my progesterone level was around 300, and we are talking about with my first beta it was this high. First trimester progesterone levels are usually under 80!  They stayed consistently high like this too until every loss.  I was using Crinone for my progesterone supplementation during each cycle.  Obviously, I did not need to be doing the Crinone 2 times per day at $15 per insert for 10 weeks with a progesterone like that.  When I mentioned this concern to my current RE when pregnant, she said to keep doing them as I was regardless of how high the levels were.  Uh, OK.  The new RE said he would like to discuss the levels with his partners at the practice, which we really liked to hear.  Never once has my current doctor said she would like to consult with another person about us.  2 minds are better than 1, right??
• He wants to perform a mock transfer if we choose to move forward at his clinic, and another Hysteroscopy to be sure my uterus is all clear.
• Relocating our embryos will cost us $100 (dirt cheap in the IVF world), it’s a simple form to fill out, and takes about 2 weeks to get done start to finish (both clinics use the same transportation/storage facility which is good).  Also, the embryo medium is the same between clinics, they have had several patients transfer back and forth between the 2 before without issues.
• He feels our chances of carrying to term are still quite good; I didn’t bother asking for a percentage.  He said he has had patients that have carried to term after 3 unexplained IVF losses with no prior children.  Hope!!!
• He cannot definitively say that the submucosal fibroid caused our last loss.  Mainly because we do not even know with certainty that it was there during the pregnancy since the Hysteroscopy that identified it was not performed until 2 months after.  We figured this already.
• We discussed anti-depressants, and post-partum depression, which due to my situation, I am at high risk for. You would think it would be the opposite, but its not. More to follow on this soon. 
• Saving the best for last, his practice has a blood and ultrasound monitoring center literally 10 minutes from our house! Almost unreal, right? We are used to traveling about 70 miles per visit.

So, now what?  Well, we still have an appointment with another new RE set up for July 22nd.  However, we have started to ask ourselves if we should even go for another opinion??  Will it just confuse us even more?

In addition, we have an appointment back at our current RE August 6.  I feel like this appointment is almost a last-ditch effort; one last chance to tell us what we can do differently moving forward.  Each day though, I wonder if I even want to bother with it.  I guess the question is, if we like this new RE’s opinion & experience, should we just make the decision to go there and be done with it? Perhaps more information will just cloud our vision even further. 

  

Lining Check #1

Our post-op for my most recent Hysteroscopy was today.  We reviewed the positive news and images from last week while I was sober and the hubs was with me.

It worked out that we could also do my first lining check at this appointment since I am on day 12 of my cycle and finally off the pill (woo-hoo!).  Although I am on day 12, I haven’t gotten a positive OPK yet, and I started serial testing on day 8.  I haven’t taken a OPK in sooo long, that I wasn’t sure if I was doing something wrong or not.

The good news is that I wasn’t doing anything wrong.  The ultrasound showed that I have not ovulated yet, and I am producing a good amount of nicely sized follicles on my own (without any meds). As many of you know, I was really nervous I might not be able to do so after all the crap my body has been through the past year and a half.  In all honesty, I was scared to death to even get an ultrasound at all because of all the negativity we associate with them now. Let alone one in the same room I was in when I found out our baby had passed away. I was literally feeling sick from my nerves in the waiting room.

Thankfully, God answered our prayers & I still am good in the egg department.  My RE guesses I will get a positive OPK by this weekend, which is when my lining will be at its thickest. He also helped me conquer the fear of having an ultrasound done again.

As for my lining today, it measured 5mm.  Could be better, but could be a lot worse.  Remember, this measurement is un-medicated, after 4 procedures in the past 4 months, with no acupuncture or real exercise routine in place. Since the uterine lining is supposed to grow about 2mm each day, who knows, maybe by ovulation time it could actually be 6 or 7mm. I don’t plan to go back and check again this month though, I will just wait until my positive OPK in July.

Trust me, I know that 5, or even 6 or 7mm is still thin. That is not the point. Here is the point. Today gives us hope that we may be able to get my lining where it needs to be without an excessive amount of estrogen. And hope is a wonderful thing!

We discussed again at our appointment how Estrogen can cause masses in the uterus to grow, and we aren’t willing to risk that given our history. While I understand that many patients never grow a fibroid in response to estrogen, I also know many do. Everyone is different. And we have learned that I am not a by the book patient at all (if such a thing even exists).

When we were on a boat load of estrogen for IVF #1 my lining measured just 7 mm, and IVF #2, barely 6mm. And before any IVF’s, it measured it measured only 3mm at one point. Finally, for IVF #3 it got up to 11mm, but I firmly believe that was in response to how active I was and how much acupuncture I was receiving at the time compared to the other times, not because of the estrogen.

Our RE wholeheartedly agreed that we may not need to do all that estrogen again either. She really seems to believe that time will heal things up down there, and I am happy to hear her going in this direction, even though I wish we weren’t waiting so long. Our ultimate desire is to have things as natural as possible when pursuing our next pregnancy. And if that takes more time, so be it.  Prayers for even more growth next cycle please!