Things I Want the World to Know

If this IVF cycle fails, I already have my next tattoo picked out. Just need to decide on the spot it will go.

I would really like to have a cute, normal pregnancy annoucement one day. I feel like infertility and pregnancy loss have robbed me of this. 

We have decided to transfer 2 embryos again this time (Ill save the logistics of why for a later post). Thats right, we could be twinning soon! We currently have 3 embryos left in all, so after this cycle just 1. The amount of embryos we have transferred each cycle so far has followed the pattern of 1-2-2-

The pattern will continue at 1-2-2-2-

It will eventually end at 1-2-2-2-1.

I prefer the intramuscular injections this cycle over the vaginal inserts (never again) in all of our prior cycles, which I never thought Id say. Dont miss the mess at all. I can deal with a few moments of pain everyday. 

I am struggling to get off the coffee. Not even going to lie. 

I have no clue how I will give up my steaming hot baths that I love in less than a week. I cant bath without it super hot, so that isnt an option. I think I will miss it more than anything else. 

I am already planning out our gender reveal party and baby shower. I know, crazy to some. But I have found having hopes and dreams are much better than not. Our gender reveal will include just close friends and family, and we will most likely have more than 1 shower. If this cycle works out, we want our reveal to be in July & our showers in October/November. 

I know there will always be another milestone to reach from transfer day on out . Here they are as they come to mind-

• A positive pregnancy test 
• Rising betas (3 blood draws over 3 days during wks 4/5)
• Viability ultrasound at 7 wks 
• Passing 10 wks (the furthest along we have ever been) 
• First trimester ending at 13 wks 
• Cervix not shortening 
• Anatomy scan at 20 wks
• Viability at 24 wks 
• I cant think any further than this! 

Thanks for listening to all my rambling! 

FET #3-Lining Check #3 & Other Musings

Today was bloodwork & lining check #3 for this cycle!

Here are our results so far-

• Baseline scan-3mm
• Check #1-5mm
• Check #2-6mm
• Check #3-7.5 mm!!

We are thrilled with todays results! I was honestly worried it wouldnt make it to a 7. We are sooo thankful it did, as studies show the pregnancy rates between a lining of a 7 and 8 are the same. And the cherry on top is that I have until Friday for it to grow a little more! It would be awesome if it does do that, but even if it doesnt we are okay with it. Friday will be my last scan and blood draw before we add in the progesterone Saturday & transfer next week (yes, you heard me right…transfer next week!! Ekkk!).  

I got to see the screen again today when I was scanned, and I must say my uterus is looking really good compared to how it has in the past. My lining is clearly triple striped, no fluid, masses, or any other crazy stuff going on! Thank God. So far there have not been any roadblocks this cycle. Maybe its a sign from Him of good things to come! 

In other news, my in-laws came in from Ohio for a few days last week which was nice. I was on spring break (that ended today) so I was able to entertain more than I normally could. Hubby took off 3 work days as well, which ended up giving us 5 days in a row off together with the weekend. 

We ate out quite a bit (I still tried to keep it healthy), sun bathed a little (I finally got a base tan going), and attended my friends going away party with them. The party was a blast, and my face hurt by the end of the night from smiling and laughing so much. Good times. 

  
   
 

After they left, we were pretty lazy. We watched movies, ate in, and slept in. We did a little shopping too. Hubby picked out this cute pineapple headband for me, and an amazing friend of mine surprised me with pineapple earrings in the mail! I bought myself some cute band-aids to cover my injection sites, total score here! 

   

    

We ended our break celebrating Easter Sunday with my family. I felt a renewed sense of energy and actually took the time to get dressed up, curl my hair, and put on make-up (big deals for me!) for dinner. I got lots of compliments from hubs and them which was sweet! 

  
Hope everyone had a blessed Easter! He is risen! 

Our Pregnancy by LMP

LMP, or last menstrual period…used to date pregnancies. 

  
According to our LMP (if we get a positive pregnancy test in a few weeks from our FET) we would technically be considered pregnant right now, as we speak!! Exciting! 

Our LMP was March 18, 2016 (thats how we get our Christmas miracle!!)

 
In the world of ART (assisted reproductive technology), this LMP date is also used to determine EDD (expected due date), but not discussed nearly as much.  Specifically in IVF cycles it is not mentioned a lot. More talk revolves around retrieval and transfer dates.  Just to make it all more confusing I guess. Having gone through years of IVF, I finally have it all down and know how it aligns to a normal non-assisted cycle. 

Anyways, it is kind of strange to think that our embies (that will be transferred back into my uterus soon) would technically already be in my body, as egg and sperm, should they not have grown together in a dish to form embryos over two years ago. 

Since I like to pretend we are reproductively normal from time to time, and since I really want this transfer to work, I am pretending we are currently pregnant. Because hey, they will be using my LMP of March 18 to calculate my due date anyways, so why the hell not?? In a “normal” pregnancy this is how it would be. So for now, my LMP will be celebrated as a pregnancy milestone! 

FET #3-Lining Check #2

Yesterday was lining check #2 of 4 for our FET. This is more monitoring than a usual FET because of past issues cycling (lining is slow to grow!) 

Here is a recap of my lining so far-

• Baseline -3mm
• Scan 1 (1 week of stims)-5mm
• Scan 2 (2 weeks of stims)-6mm

As you can see my lining grew 1mm in the last week. I was hoping for more growth than that, but we are still thankful it grew at all. We have about another week and a half for it to continue to grow. Hopefully, by then it will be at least an 8 or 9! Especially with the Viagra that was just added in and more acupuncture this week. The whole purpose of this medication is to increase blood flow and lining thickness, so we will see. 

I am trying to stay positive, as I was feeling a little down yesterday. Starting to let my mind wonder with all the what if’s. I am doing all I can, and its up to God what happens from here. My RE pointed out how great my uterus looks overall on the scan and showed me. No fluid, no masses, a trilaminar lining. All good things to focus on, right? 

FET #3: Stims Days 5-10

So far, so good! Nothing really new to report.  Mainly, I just feel like blogging so I figure I will record how the past 5 days of this cycle have gone!

Have been eating super healthy everyday, with the exception of a delicious Kit-Kat bar during lunch the other day. Meals have consisted of Quinoa, Garbanzo beans, avocado, sweet potatoes, organic chicken breast, grass fed beef, whole grains, eggs, protein shakes, salads, etc.  Will continue to keep this up.  

The rapsberry tea I am drinking every day after work is causing me to pee more in the middle of the night than usual. Ugh. I really need to drink it in the mornings, but I dont want to be peeing non-stop while Im teaching either. Since Spring Break starts tomorrow, maybe I will try it out in the mornings and see if it helps. Im peeing about 4 times a night now compared to my usual 2 times. Annoying, but prep for being preggo again I guess!

Circle + Bloom meditation is still going strong. Im now on CD 2, part 4. I have only missed 2 days since suppression started, and I was just too beat to get in the mood for it those nights. The power of the mind is amazing to me. During meditation, I have been able to shrink myself down into a mini size and get into my uterus! Sounds crazy right? Lol. Its part of the program, getting things all perfect in there for baby. I am proud of myself for being able to connect my mind and body so deeply. Pretty cool, and relaxing. 

Started Folgard 1x per day this week. I start vaginal viagra (I KNOW… wt*) this Sunday. What woman has to go on viagra? This one! This will boost my lining even more. Anything for baby, right? Anyways, who has been on this before? Hopefully no horror stories? Only on it for 5 days in all so not too bad. Oh, and for various reasons, we decided I will not be doing the Lovenox bloodthinner this cycle. Feeling satisfied with our decision about this. 

My in-laws from Ohio will be in for a few days next week during my break.  We are looking forward to this, and hubby took a few days off to hang with us. Im hoping to get some Vitamin D at the beach! The summer weather is back, its been hitting the 80’s again everyday, and I need a tan majorly. 

Hubby and I started watching that new OJ series on demand. Takes me back to the 90s and watching the live trial. Some of it pisses me off, like how did this guy seriously get off?!? Oh, and John Travolta…dear Lord! What did he do to his face? I cant take it! Anyone else notice this? 

Hoping everyone has a blessed week! Will update after Mondays lining check 😊

FET 3: Lining Check #1

Today was lining check number 1! Last week at my day 3 ultra, my lining was thin as it should be, measuring 3 mm. We hoped to see it increase by a few millimeters at todays appointment, and the good (actually great) news is that it did! 

Lining today measured a solid 5 after 1 week of stims. This may not seem like much to most, but if you have followed for awhile, you might recall lining was a little bit of an issue in the past with our first 2 transfers. 

• Fresh transfer-lining of a 7 
• FET 1-lining of a 6 (almost cancelled)
• FET 2- lining of a 10(this was on extended stims). Note: I will have an extra week of stims this cycle since it seemed to help the cycle when I got up to a 10. 

That being said, we are praying for my lining to be a 7 or 8 next week, and close to a 10 or 11 the following right before transfer and progesterone is started. Last FET it seemed to increase its thickness by 2 mm every week, hopefully thats the case again this time and we will be all set! My RE is like most, and wants to see at least a 7 or better to transfer.

So the plan is to continue legs up the wall, raspberry tea, daily meditation & prayer, estrogen ass shots and oral pills (levels looked good after blood this a.m.) and all other forms of relaxation and healthiness.  I told the nurse today I am not used to such positive news during a cycle, and she said maybe its just our time! Sure hope so 💗

Transfer Day “Stuff”

One benefit to being an IVF vet is that you know what to expect on transfer day and can prepare for it (for the most part).  

Since this is our 4th transfer (4th times a charm!), I feel more prepared than ever before. I am not really talking mentally, although I do feel good about that too. I am referring more to the fun (oh Lord, did I just say fun!?) side of all this I guess? If there is such a thing?! 

Anyways, here is what I have planned so far for FET #3, transfer day #4 (still a few weeks away)-

Transfer Day Shirt-Of course none other than a pineapple would be acceptable (followed by eating some pineapple core)! 

  

Transfer Day Pineapple Socks– ordered online & never worn before! Waiting for the big day to sport these.

  

Transfer Day Pink & Blue Baby Charm Bracelet-passed down to me by a family member, and fellow IVFer who had her miracle twin babies. She wore it during her journey, and now I am wearing it through ours.

  

Transfer Day Drink of Choice… Organic, Sparkling Pomegranate (carbonated water)- This old wives tale drink is delish and we have a pretty good stash ready to go post transfer. 
  

Transfer Day Snack of Choice…Brazilian Nuts! Another old wives tale for sticky feet. All stocked up!

  

Transfer Day Reading-recommended to me from a few ladies in my IG community. This book is so adorable & perfect for any couple trying to conceive! 

  

Transfer Day Therapy- Circle + Bloom meditation continues. Except now its transfer day/post transfer listening time!!!

  

Im sure a few other transfer day things will be planned as we get closer, but I just couldnt contain myself from being excited and thinking about it all today!! 

Prayers for a nice, thick lining at Mondays appointment. 

If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It

I had a pregnancy dream last night. Only my second one ever. 

The first one I had was while I was pregnant back in 2014, and that dream ended with me miscarrying. So, more of a nightmare than a dream I suppose. And oddly enough, that nightmare was right before our first miscarriage. It was awful, I chalked it up to nothing, but about a week later I found myself living it…the nightmare came true. Well, that was the past and the past is the past, right? 

Last night I was pregnant in my dream. Like I had a big belly and all. I was rubbing my belly and showing our baby love. The dream was quite vivid, and I even had my water break in it. We were at home when it broke, I was calm about it, and we made it to the hospital in time to deliver a healthy baby. We held the baby and were full of joy! Everything went as it should. No gender was revealed during the dream. 

This dream is another milestone for me to document in our journey. It showed us making it through a full term pregnancy, and bringing home a happy, healthy child. It felt incredibly real; you know how those dreams are. It brings so much hope for this upcoming transfer!

FET #3: Stims Day 1-4

I have tried to set a daily (home) routine for this cycle. So far stims days 1-4 have gone like this:

Before work:

• Wake up & make a vanilla flavored protein shake containing acai, maca, pomegranate, bananas, avocado, & almond milk. Sounds like a lot of random stuff mixed together, but its actually really tasty and filling! 
• Take all oral meds (Estrace, baby aspirin, prenatal)
• Do Lupron stomach injection 
• Today was the first day I cut out coffee! 

After work:

• Cook a healthy dinner
• Take a candlelight bubble bath while drinking my raspberry leaf tea (2 cups per night)
• Read our couples devotional together 
• Listen to my Circle + Bloom meditation CD as I put my legs up the wall (fell asleep like this the other night)

 

• Do ass injection (only every 3 days for now). Have 2 down so far. Bled during 2nd one. Ugh. 
• Early bedtime!

Tonight I went to acupuncture for the first time during this FET cycle. Ive done it during all our prior cycles. Its a must for me! Ill be going weekly for now. I go to the same lady each time. She goes the extra mile for me, massages my neck and feet, helps me with visualization, and so on. Tonight she asked me if it will be a girl or a boy, and I told her GIRL for sure! She smiled. 

Overall, I feel pretty good. Headaches here and there since the estrogen started this week, and some emotional bits too. Hopefully I can keep that under wraps and not fly off the handle completely. I went from being in a menopausal state for months, to the polar opposite. I dont think it helps either that our state testing is in about a week. Kids are stressed to the max and so I am.  

Ready for April to be here already! 

FET #3: Stims Day 1

So this just happened…

 
Delestrogen injection #1 done in the butt!

I took the medication, needles, and syringe with me to my appointment this morning, hoping my nurse would do the injection for me. Unfortunately, that was not the case, as this shot needs to be done between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. So much for wishful thinking! Hubby came to the rescue and did it tonight for me though. Note: this is a big step…I usually am a control freak and do all my own injections! 

After I listened to my Circle + Bloom CD and ate dinner, we watched a video on how to do the injection, read through the pamphlet, and followed where my nurse had marked. It was pretty straightforward- I leaned over the bed and tried not to put pressure on the side we chose. He was calm, and confident (as usual) something that I admire about him. Helps take some of my crazy away! 

What also helped a lot was the fact that my RE wrote me a prescription for Lidocaine (numbing gel) for us to rub on my ass about an hour before the intramuscular injection. I was not expecting this at all! I simply brought up ice and heat this morning, and she said “how about we give you this so you dont have to worry about doing either?” Thank you Lord for this blessing! We took full advantage of it, numbing the area up real good before the shot. He then massaged after. 

  
I should mention that my ultrasound went as it should this morning, lining is thin, ovaries suppressed, no cysts, etc. My estradiol level came back at 11, also good news. Cant wait to hear how my lining grows over the next week!