This time last year we were waking up in northern Ohio, feeling the chill of the holiday and drinks wearing off from the night before. We were surrounded by close & extended family on both sides, friends, and gatherings. I had just began taking my anti-anxiety medication, and was still trying to cope with the idea that we may never have kids here on Earth, while juggling how to handle meeting all of my friends newborn babies.
It had been over a year since our last (and 3rd) IVF cycle and loss, and we were treating my pesky, reappearing fibroid with monthly Lupron Depot injections. It seemed like a transfer was so far out from us. We had no idea what our future held. We decided to get professional photos taken while on our Ohio trip, to honor our family, & purchased a little Buckeye onesie in faith.
It is hard to fathom this was just a year ago. As all infertiles do, I still recall the usual holiday talk with hubby of “I wonder what this time next year will be like…will we be pregnant? Have our baby finally?”
We had those discussions many, many holidays before. I know the frustration and feel the pain. It sucks, and after awhile, you might even stop having these conversations. Its okay, keep the faith inside of you even if you dont have the strength to show it externally.
I know not every story ends the same, but I also know you create your own happy ending to your story. If you dont feel the story is over yet, dont close the chapter out.
We knew our story wasnt complete yet and thus, we kept going. And here we are now, 1 Thanksgiving later, 36 weeks pregnant. 9 months along…waking up in at our home in sunny, south Florida.
What a difference 1 year makes.
Within a month, we will be putting that onesie on our sweet baby boy.
Thinking of everyone today, and sending lots of love. There is always so much to be grateful for no matter the obstacle(s) ahead.