A Very Pregnant Lady, a Newborn, 2 Sets of Grandparents, & the Wrong Number

This morning I went to Quest to drop off my urine sample and get blood work taken.  By the way, the 24 hour urine test was rather gross.  I started to gag by the end of it, so I will spare you the details.

I signed in as usual when I arrived.  There were about 10 people in front of me in the waiting room.  As I waited, a family came in with a newborn.  It appeared to possibly be the grandparents with the baby, which was later confirmed through conversation. I started to squirm around in my seat when they came in, playing on my phone, doing anything to try to distract myself.  Then, a random older couple started striking up conversation with the newborn family.

Random older couple, a.k.a. 1st set of grandparents: Aw, look at him! I just love my grandkids! Aren’t they the best?

Family of the newborn a.k.a. 2nd set of grandparents: Yes! He is our first grandchild.  Just amazing!

I was trying so hard not to look at them. Everyone in the room “oohing” and “ahhing.”  On the outside, I am sure I looked like a miserable bitch who probably dislikes children; little does anyone in that room know what I have endured to get me to this point.  The simple, happy, normal conversation between strangers celebrating life now makes me extremely on edge.  If that wasn’t uncomfortable enough for me, what happened next surely was.

A very pregnant woman and what appeared to be her mom signed in.  She sits next to me, and across from the sets of grandparents and the newborn.  She is steadily rubbing her belly.  I am seriously wondering how much longer it will be before they call me, because I know it is only a matter of minutes before her and the newborn family start baby talking.  And of course, it began.

Grandparents 1: When are you due?

Pregnant woman: (says a date; I refused to listen)

Grandparents 2: Is this your first?

Pregnant woman: (laughing) No, my second, but it will be my last!

Pregnant woman’s mom: She has a girl already, but really wanted a boy.  It’s a girl again!

Grandparents 1: (laughing) They say boy sperms don’t swim as fast! (laughing)

Pregnant woman: (laughing more) I know..aren’t there supposed to be remedies for that?

They started making jokes on things you could do to help the sperm, or change the gender , or whatever.  I couldn’t bare to listen.  None of the jokes were true or made any sense by the way.  I was so tempted to look up and blurt something out, tell them how dumb they sounded.  I bit my lip hard.  I felt really angry.  Angry that no one in that place knew about all of the babies I lost.  Angry that pregnant woman had the nerve to be disappointed about the gender.  Angry that people make reproductive jokes, whether their intentions are good or not.  Most of all, I felt disappointed.  Disappointed that no one takes a moment to wonder what the other people in the waiting room could be going through. 

Maybe I am overreacting. Most likely I am.  But that’s OK though, I don’t care. I am allowed to have my days. 

I can say and have said that in some ways infertility and RPL have changed me for the better.  For example, not one situation goes by in my life now where I don’t project myself into the possible situation another person around me could be experiencing.  I am always thinking about what they could be going through.  When my husband comes home and complains about someone at work, the first words out of my mouth are, “be kind, you don’t know what he may be dealing with right now.”  I would have never said that 5 years ago.

Not too long ago, someone called me from a number I did not recognize.  I called it back and long story short, she kept calling me back, thinking I had called her when she really called me, and she thought I was quote, “messing with her man.”  I had no idea who this lady or man were.  She was cursing me out, screaming at me, threatening to beat me up, etc.  I never got impatient with the lady calling.  I kept telling her I would pray for her, and I was sorry she was going through what she was going through.  I was with one of my girl friends while all this was happening who said to me, “you are being way too nice to her…why???”

The truth is I felt so bad for her.  She obviously was dealing with something horrible in her life.  And I know how it feels to go through something really terrible.  I know how I want people to treat me.  However, I do wish for one moment she would have thought about what I might be going through, but she never did.  Nor did the people in the waiting room.  The world would be such a better place if people did wouldn’t it?

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14 thoughts on “A Very Pregnant Lady, a Newborn, 2 Sets of Grandparents, & the Wrong Number

  1. Bless you, I’m sorry you had to go through that. You’re right, it’s just a normal conversation for most women, but as a fellow RPL sufferer I feel for you. I’ve been in similar situations many times in hospital and it’s so, so upsetting xx

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  2. That waiting room experience sounds downright HORRIBLE! I don’t know how you kept your cool. I probably would have run out crying. People can be so insensitive. And I’m with you on having more empathy for other people who are struggling. This experience definitely changes us, and I’m proud of you for looking for the bright side. Hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ugh, it really was terrible. Today was just one of those days to say the least. Since this morning, one of my friends has delivered her baby, we went to two birthday parties-each with newborns and pregnant women. Im so done! As we speak, I am wiping away my tears and soaking in the tub 💔 thanks for understanding!

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  3. The fact that the rather horrible sounding 24 hour urine test was not the most distressing part of this post is quite something. It sounds hideous…. but then so does all the rest…. It’s so tough when other people (unwittingly) rub your nose in their good fortune…
    Sending transatlantic hugs to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I appreciate that! I try my best to keep it together, but I felt like I was getting hit every which way today. I was an emotional mess to say the least. And probably an overly sensitive one too. I know these people didnt mean any harm, but I just wanted to tell them how its not peaches and cream for everyone. Make them realize i guess! And u are so right… The pee should have been the worst part of all this! Ugh.

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  4. In our waiting room no-one ever said a word (unless they had a kid with them who demanded some attention). Needless to say it was a horribly creepy room to hang out in. I’m sorry you had such an insensitive situation the other day, I do not understand why people don’t think about others.
    That said, I think one of the things that makes you an amazing person is that you do think about others. You are aware of your surroundings and you are conscious of others feelings – you are pretty remarkable person! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel like they should have designated waiting rooms for RPL or IF sufferers. I know Im pushing it with this one, but seriously it would be ideal. Ive heard enough waiting room horror stories by now.
      Thanks so much for the kind words, friend. It means the world to me ❤️

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  5. Oh my goodness girl, I totally relate every word of your post (minus the jug of pee part. That sounds downright cruel)! God has thrown pregnant women into my path EVERYWHERE I go lately too! And babies–lots and lots of babies. It’s so mean lol. Kudos to you for keeping your cool.

    Liked by 1 person

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