These are the Days I’ll Remember 

I used to love that song by Natalie Merchant back in the 90’s. As the days pass before me so quickly, I see they are the ones I will remember most. I have waited so long for these days, and truth is, I may never experience them again with another child. And even if I do, I will never experience them with this child of mine again. 

We had our 2 month checkup this week. Baby is in the 50th percentile for head circumference, weight, and height. He nows weighs 12 and 1/2 lbs. and is 23 inches short. This means he has increased his length 2 inches since birth, and his weight by almost 5 lbs. It is bittersweet to pack away all of the clothes he has outgrown and realize that soon he will be in size 2 diapers and all his infant inserts will be no longer.  Yet, on the other hand, I am so excited for his bright future. 

Things to remember-

  • LO loves to lay on his changing table and stare at the banner above it that I made for him 
  • He smiles back at me now when I smile at him
  • He tracks people as they move across the room 
  • Baby is in love with fans and lights of any sort, also music
  • He has found his fist and enjoys sucking on it 
  • The boppy pillow is his favorite to nap on throughout the days 
  • He is making lots more noises than ever before 
  • Baby sweats a lot just like his dad does 
  • He doesnt seem to enjoy his carseat so much anymore, instead he would rather stretch out his arms and legs very wide 

The ped said he is on track for development, which is great. We wont go back until he is 4 months old unless something comes up before then. I am sure I am biased, but he seems so smart and of course is so handsome already! 

In other news, Im happy to report that we are latching better, and mom has figured out a way to help control the fast let downs so baby boy doesnt choke so much. At night, we have done away with the night light and seem to be sleeping better. In fact, we had our first 4 hr stretch in over a month! Woo hoo! 

I know there is more I wanted to record, but there isnt any time for it now. Until next time~

2 Months 

Well, almost. Time is flying by. I cant believe it is February and he was born in December. 

Update on BF

I originally wasnt going to post about this, as it can be a somewhat controversial topic and I didnt feel like getting any crap for it. However, I sat & thought about a few things….like why did I start this blog in the first place? One reason was so others wouldnt feel alone. Another was so I could get my feelings out. After pondering this, I realized I wanted to share bc these reasons alone are far more important than dealing with any possible trolls.

Baby boy had his tongue & lip ties clipped at almost 5 weeks old. After a few professional opinions and doing some research, we concluded they were most likely interferring with his (breast)feedings. He had trouble latching, gumming, thrashing, etc. After clipping, positive nursing progress is supposed to be almost immediate. Well, the day after the procedure we were still seeing the same behaviors, and I felt somewhat discouraged. I did feel a deeper latch on one side, but the other showed no improvement. Thrashing, squirming, tugging, all continued.

The lactation consultant and MD who did the procedure began to explore other potential issues since the clipping wasnt the cure to us BF. Come to find out I have low milk supply (I am now pumping about 15 oz per day, should be about 30 oz) paired with a very fast let down. I began taking supplements such as Go Lacta, Fenugreek, eating oatmeal & berries, lactation cookies, amongst other things daily. This doubled my supply to 15 oz -I was only pumping about 8 oz a day prior.

Although an improvement in supply, this did not help the fast let down or thrashing around, or poor latching on one side. To top it off, he started spitting up, choking and gasping for air when breastfeeding or drinking my milk from a bottle. Our pediatrician recommended we put him on a special formula and add rice cereal to breastmilk to thicken it up a bit. We consented. 

He does amazing when he drinks the formula, but I still didnt want to give up the breastmilk entirely. He is able to drink this formula through a Dr. Browns bottle with no problem, but could not use it for breastmilk even with the cereal thickening agent. I went on to try Avent, Tommee Tippee, Playtex, MAM. None worked. He gasped for air so badly once that he couldnt catch his breath. Hubby and I decided its not worth him choking to death for some breastmilk. Just when I was about to throw in the towel, my mom bought us a NUK Simply Natural bottle. It is a God send. No choking, no gasping for air, no discomfort. He even thinks it is a boob, suckling it and smiling all gummy like.

This said, he has a NUK bottle for all of my pumped (cereal) milk, and Dr. Browns for his formula. I do not let anyone feed him breastmilk as I have to be careful and stop him occassionally. Pumped feedings take considerably longer, but I will continue as long as he is comfortable. 4-5 ounces of breastmilk literally takes an hour compared to 20 minutes for formula. I let him on my breast after my let down so he can handle it without choking badly. He barely touches the one breast still, not only by his doing but by mine too. It is just plain old uncomfortable. This makes for one lopsided woman. Lol. Side note-I had the nipple on this side pierced MANY moons ago (a.k.a. Teenage rebellion years) and it hasnt been the same since. Possible culprit. 

Our feedings are complicated, but we are working through it in our own way. I should say that this post isnt looking for advice, instead it is for the reasons I listed above-to relate with others. If you are feeling pressure to feed a certain way, this post is for you. I too, felt that way and know how crappy it feels. But we must remember, a fed baby is the best baby. I think I forgot that from time to time and compared myself to others expectations. 

Needless to say, this whole feeding experience has been full of learning for me. I am getting used to how we do things, and prefer not to stress anymore about it being textbook perfect (since there is no such thing anyways). No, I never thought I would be triple feeding 2 months postpartum, but I am. The good news is that is not nearly as hard as it was a month ago. Silver lining. 

It all goes to show you never know what something is like until you go through it. Yes, I could change my diet, and try other things too Im sure, like medication for reflux and what not, but for now I am choosing not to go that route because the truth is that wont change how fast my let down is, the thickness of my milk, the amount of milk I produce, or his latch. And I am not sacrificing all of the foods I like as selfish as that may sound. I feel that I sacrificed enough over the years just to simply get him here-my body, mind & soul for years…It is time to enjoy him now. 

So, we will continue our new “normal”-taking a few bottles of formula a day, followed by a few bottles of breastmilk, followed by our middle of the night nursing sessions. 

Clipped

I mentioned baby boy had a tongue & lip tie in my previous post. Well, they are no more! We got them clipped today. We saw a local holisitic pediatrician and board certified LC who is known around town as the only one to do it before a baby is 6 months.  

The past week since trying EBF & quitting pumping has been difficult. Baby latches on and off during feeds, latches incorrectly, gums me, feeds constantly, etc. So today brings a sense of relief and a step forward for us. Before the procedure, I breastfeed for the doc to show her what we are experiencing with our feeds. She observed for a bit and then examined him only to confirm that he did indeed have both ties. She then explained the clipping to us which took longer than the actual action itself.  It literally took 30 seconds to do it. I cried more than he did I think. Immediately following the clipping he was put back on my breast to feed. I guess the breast is the medicine for all. 

He latched on well and stopped crying right away & he hasnt shown any signs of pain or discomfort since thankfully. I was told that is the norm since they are so young. I am feeding him as we speak and plan to do so as much as he needs, even for comfort today. So far so good with the latch. I also purchased a recommended supplement to increase my supply and my lovely mom made me 4 dozen delicious lactation cookies. We have a follow up next week & hope to have good news to report.


In other news, Isaac gained another lb since our last appointment! I am so grateful for this since we have had some feeding challenges. He now weighs 9 and 1/2 lbs. He is getting so big so quick! Almost all his newborn clothes have been outgrown now. 

I just realized this is the first post as a mom I have written in paragraph format. All of my posts since his birth have been list style, bringing me to my point…pregnancy brain is real, but mom brain is no joke. Its been hard to fathom compiling all my thoughts into something that could be easily read, so forgive me if this is jumbled. 

I had my postpartum visit the other day. All looks well and I have been released back to my “normal” activities (exercising, intercourse, bathing, etc.) I am excited to start stroller walking daily, in fact we already began as a family of 3 plus the 2 dogs. It was great and baby seems to sleep much better. He is also loving bathing in his 4 Moms tub. Up until he turned a month old we had been doing just sponge baths which he hated. When we put him in the tub he looked simply amazed. Perhaps a feeling of being back in the womb? Anyways, it has become a highlight of my day to see him so relaxed in there. 

We have been getting out a bit more, Isaac ate inside his first restaurant with our in laws who are visiting from Ohio. I have been avoiding a lot of indoor public places as it is flu season and I did not get a shot for it. He really loved looking all around and being so stimulated. I just love to watch him, we are so very blessed. 


I guess that is all for now, thinking of all you no matter where you are in your TTC journey. God Bless ❤️

Wins 

I mentioned in a previous post that our son has a tongue & lip tie. This has made EBF (exclusively breastfeeding), among other things, rather tough. 



Many people are uneducated in what these ties are and involve (as I was myself) and simply compare their difficulty breastfeeding to it. Its not the same. Yes, breastfeeding can be trying regardless of this circumstance, but throwing in ties makes it a whole new ballgame, medically speaking. 

Its not to say you cant have success breastfeeding with the ties, in fact, I have had plenty of people share their success stories with me. Some didnt even have a problem at all. Others the complete opposite. I believe Isaac and I fall somewhere in the middle. 

We found out in the hospital that he had a tongue tie. He was having trouble latching and I asked to speak with an LC. The LC came in and observed us breastfeeding, or at that time, trying to breastfeed. After noting that my nipples were “normal” she offered us the shield, and we accepted. This helped him latch on better but he still had a myriad of other symptoms as listed above (gas, spit up, etc.). 

My mind went back to the pregnancy classes we took at the hospital. Suddenly I remembered babies who have trouble latching could have something called a tongue, or lip tie. I immediately asked to speak with the hospital LC again and have her take a look at him for this. She did, and lo and behold, he ended up having both. I will admit, at first, I was so upset. I even cried (chalk it up to the hormones).  Then I realized how blessed we are that this is just a minor issue. It is not a major birth defect that cannot be fixed. 

The past few weeks subsequent to coming home from the hospital we did a combination of pumping, breastfeeding, and formula. The spit up was so bad from the formula that I put in a call to my pediatrician. He would choke and gasp for air and I had to stop him after every few sips. Broke my heart! What broke it even more was that he did not spit up like that when he nursed, but the times we could were few and far between due to the ties. 

Our ped suggested we try out a special formula for spit up, and when he drinks what is pumped, add in rice cereal. The new formula also included rice cereal. What a world of a difference these changes have made in terms of him spitting up! I consider this a win for sure.

But the biggest win of all came this past week. I tried to get baby boy to latch without the shield as I usually do. I dont know what changed, other than his age, but he took the breast without it. Since that day, he has been breastfeeding almost exclusively without it. This is a big change-going from only 2x per day on the breast to about 6 times. And I didnt even have to pump once yesterday, which Im not complaining about. Lol. 

We have an appointment to see a doctor who handles tongue and lip ties next week. From what I understand, she clips it with scissors right in the office with just a topical numbing agent. She is the only doctor in the area that will cut them before he is 6 months. I guess there are many who will do it after that time. Has anyone else out there heard of docs waiting until 6 months? If so, why? It seems most of the people I have talked to had it taken care of early on, like within the first few weeks or so, so I was surprised when I heard all of these doctors wanting to wait until he is older. 

In the meantime, we will continue to work on breastfeeding. My first goal is to eliminate pumping if I can. This is a personal decision, please dont take offense if you pump. I really dislike it, and I dont have a real reason to do it. I am home with our son everyday and will be for the foreseeable future. 

My next goal would be to be EBF if possible, its free and that formula isnt cheap. However, for the time being, I have no issue giving him formula a few times a day. It keeps both me and him sane as we work through his ties. Not to mention, I enjoy letting others,especially hubby, feed our baby.  *I should note that I am in no way one of those gung-ho moms who has the mindset that breastfeed babies are the best. I believe being fed is the best. 

Finally, I want to do what is right for our son in terms of the ties. I have read (and heard personal accounts) about people with ties having speech problems down the road. This concerns me. I can handle the routine we have now with feeding, but I cant handle knowing he could encounter trouble down the road and I did nothing about it. Also, waiting to fix the problem may bring more stress, as I have seen after a child turns one they must undergo general anesthesia at a hospital (instead of just a numbing gel in an docs office) to fix the ties. 

Please feel free to share your stories with tongue and/or lip ties, whether you chose to clip them or not, what age your child was when you did it, the procedure itself, and what has happened as a result. Thank you! 

The 4th Trimester 

Some observations and things to note as Isaac turns 2 weeks old tomorrow-

  • The site where my c-section incision was is still numb…I am wondering if I have permanent nerve damage or if this is normal? 
  • No one tells you how constipated you will be after a c-section. Sorry if TMI, but I mean seriously. I have had other surgeries and been behind, but this is like no other. Awful! 
  • I gained 40 lbs total while pregnant, dropped 20 lbs within the first week of delivering him, and am sure the remaining 20 will be much harder. 
  • Our baby boy sleeps for about 2-3 hours at a time between feedings and throughout the night. This is not bad from what I hear from other newborn parents. 
  • Although he sleeps “good” for a newborn, I am still feeling sleep deprived. I have decided that sleep deprivation is probably a form of torture somewhere in the world. 
  • Baby boy has been doing tummy time everyday and can already lift his head and turn it side to side. I cant believe how strong he is. 
  • I am still breastfeeding, pumping, and supplementing with formula. During our hospital stay, Isaac had low blood sugar and needed formula. I have continued to give him some each night, but I hope to wean him off it soon. 
  • I am pumping about 3-4 ounces total each session. I am hoping this increases with time??? 
  • Isaac hiccups a lot, and doesnt tend to burp much, the doctor said this is normal, but I am hoping it eases up and we can get some belches out of him soon. I purchased some Gripe Water and will give it to him soon if not. 
  • Dr. Brown’s bottles seem to be the best fit for our boy. So far we have also tried Avent, Tommee Tippee, & Playtex.
  • Baby boy has visited his pediatrician twice so far and is almost back to his birth weight. All else looks good. 
  • I do not want hubby to leave us this week and go back to work! It has been amazing having him home. Can we hit the lotto please?!?
  • Time is flying by. Part of me wants Isaac to grow because he is so fragile and I worry about things like SIDs. The other part of me cries even thinking about him growing so fast.
  • I have no clue if I could handle being pregnant again (we have 1 frostie left), and I am talking mentally, not physically.  Or maybe I mean both. It was extremely tough on me both ways. 
  • Isaac currently sleeps in his mamaRoo in our bedroom. They should call this thing a lifesaver! He did not like the Halo bassinest much. Thank God we got it second hand at a thrift store and didnt pay full price, as it has been converted to an additional changing table in our room. 
  • The dogs are adjusting well overall to baby’s arrival. If anything they are just curious and protective already. We included them both in our newborn photos we had taken. 
  • Isaac loves to pee (and poop occasionally) all over us as soon as we take off his diaper. He has ruined many outfits already.
  • The future of this blog is unknown. I will always be an infertile, but a new chapter of our lives has now begun, and it may be time to rest Surviving Infertility. 

The Diary of a Pregnant Woman, Vol. 2

So this week has been full of appointments as usual. 

  • Appointment with OB-routine visit, checked urine, blood pressure, weight, Isaac’s heartbeat, and (new this visit) fundal height. She said my fundal height was measuring a little large for how many weeks I am. I didnt bother asking for a number. My mentality is Id rather it be larger than smaller. I got my glucola drink and scheduled that appointment. Praying I pass! 
  • We talked about baby’s movement at the appt. Ive been somewhat worried because I hear so much about all these women feeling strong movement pretty early on. Even though I felt flutters at 15 weeks and the intensity has definitely picked up, the movement is still quite sporadic. Like for instance, I might feel him in the early morning, but then not again until nighttime. So she told me that even though its early, try to count the kicks and I would probably be pleasantly surprised. I followed her instructions the past few days (drank something cold and sweet, waited 20 minutes, laid down) and realized he is doing just fine. I feel at least 10 movements pretty quickly actually. Thank God! I guess I just needed to focus in on it more to see. 
  • We interviewed a third (and final) pediatrician. 3 is enough, dont want to overwhelm ourselves with options. The places have consisted of 1.) a small, one doctor practice, 2.) a large, 6 doctor practice, and 3.) an in-between practice with 3 doctors. There are so many factors to consider when choosing a pedi (cleanliness, experience, on-site services, after hours, vaccines, wait times, hospital privileges, etc.) But honestly, for us, it really boiled down to a gut feeling. This is the same way we were with choosing our RE. We figure we can always change should we need to, but we are starting out at the smallest practice of the 3 practices. Glad thats taken care of!!

  • We attended session 1 of 2 at the hospital for “parenting & infant care.” Can I just tell you how awful session 1 was? It should be called “all the ways you can kill your baby.” I understand that it’s reality and important to point out all the things that can happen in order to be preventive, but it was really tough for me to sit through the class. From drowning, to SIDS, to choking, to shaking baby, to poisons, fires, my gosh. And we were showed videos of actual situations where children died. Was that necessary? Ugh. Anyways, session 2 is supposed to be much better (according to both one of my friends who took it and the instructor herself), we will have fake dolls and change baby, burp baby, swaddle baby, etc.

  • Tomorrow we go to the MFM for a 25 week growth scan. Praying all is on track. Will update soon on that. 

Aside from appointments, other news-

  • All shower invites went out and people are starting to RSVP! Exciting, but hard to believe it is here in just a month. We have already started to receive some gifts from out of state family (over half of our list is out of state), and for any big items they send, we are keeping the boxes and plan to take those to the shower wrapped without the items inside (hubby’s idea and I love it!). The smaller ones we get wont be an issue to take with the contents inside of them. This way even the people out of state who cant make it will be celebrating with us that day! 
  • I decorated for fall already. I love fall. I usually wait until it technically begins in a few weeks, but being home not working, I figured why not. Now if only the heat would go away. So over it. 
  • I have been thinking pretty seriously about cloth diapering. I joined a few Facebook groups and started my own research. I should have prefaced this by saying my stomach has been weaker than it normally is not pregnant. Anyways, in a few of the posts I came across, several ladies were having trouble with bugs. In the dirty diapers. Like maggots or eggs, or whatever. That was it for me. I told hubby about it and he pointed out how we live in South Florida and its a possibility. No thanks. As a new mom, I cant say how often I would be washing these diapers yet or blame them for it. Ive had all kinds of freaking bugs around my house & I keep it clean. So the plan is to start with disposables, I registered for a few different kinds, and go from there. Maybe one day. End of story. 
  • The closet in miracle’s room is pretty much done! I love it! 


Until next time!! 

Ramblings Part 2

I figure why not continue the tangents for a bit, hey?

  • We had our hospital tour today! Hubby & I went out to breakfast beforehand and my nerves were really acting up. So much that I didnt really want to eat, but I did. I have no clue why the anxiety set in, because I really was excited for the tour. He helped me work through it though and I was good by the time we arrived. The tour catered mostly to vaginal delivery procedures, we couldnt even see the OR room for c-sections because it is so sterile. Although I am hoping to do a vaginal delivery, I was curious of how things look if it doesnt play out that way. I did speak up and ask a few questions and the nurse was helpful in answering them. We learned about admittance, the different rooms we will be in, visitor policies, what to bring, the NICU, lactation consultants, circumcision, cord cutting, etc. 
  • We have narrowed our choice for a pediatrician down to 2. I eliminated one of the 3 practices we were looking at for the simple reason that they wanted to charge me to meet the doctor for a prenatal consult. Um, no. Now the decision comes down to do we want a small office with just one doctor, or a large practice with rotating doctors and nurse practioners? 
  • We signed up for two classes-one is infant safety, and the other is prep for labor & delivery. The infant safety course meets 2 times and the l & d class 4 times. I am excited to learn more at the classes. We also plan to take a CPR class closer to the birth with my immediate family. I did attend an informative breastfeeding class already, and I am hoping all goes as planned in that department. 
  • I had my cervix check at 22 weeks and I am thankful to report that it is still long (close to 4) and closed. Baby boy weighs over a pound now and is growing as he should. There are some pics of him below! A few people said they see my resemblance in him already, but I cant see it. I did get scared during the ultrasound because the tech informed me that I was having a Braxton Hicks contraction. Well, at first she just said “contraction” and showed me it on the screen. She informed me they are totally normal, which I had already read plenty of times, but still. Id like to keep the word contraction out of my vocab as long as possible. She was having a hard time looking at my placenta due to the contractions and it took some time before they stopped finally. Placenta was fine. When I came home, I drank a bunch of water and gatorade and took a warm bath and realized my stomach started to relax. I didnt even notice how tight it had been until she pointed out the BH. I think I was a little dehydrated and it could have brought it on. When the OB called to go over my results, he assured me that with real contractions they increase in intensity and the cervix shortens…so, in other words..stop worrying!! Any ladies want to share about their BH contractions? Ever get them when dehydrated? 

  • In my last post I mentioned the Tdap vaccine. Turns out hubby got the booster a few years back so he is all good there. Honestly he was my main concern. He is in & out of so many places with work and he coughs a lot to begin with. Now that I know he is vaccinated, I feel much better. I dont believe I will get vaxxed for it when I am still pregnant, if anything I will get it at the hospital afterwards. The peditricians we like so far said they will also do it for us and our immediate family at their office, so thats an option too. We will see. Thanks for all the input on this shot! 
  • Im not sleeping well this week. I cant get comfy and wake up around 3 everynight and stay up. It sucks. I want to sleep on my stomach or back, and obviously I cant do either. I got one of those wedge pillows early on, but its not cutting it anymore. Im going to need some sort of body pillow, and I dont like the snoogle. I tried it and returned it. It was just too big for me, and the neck piece was uncomfy. I have a special pillow I use for my neck and I would like to continue with it. Most of the pregnancy pillows I see have a neck piece attached unfortunately. 
  • We are hanging the shelves in the nursery this weekend since hubby took off. Im excited to put some decor on it after! Hope everyone enjoys theit weekend!