Ramblings Part 2

I figure why not continue the tangents for a bit, hey?

• We had our hospital tour today! Hubby & I went out to breakfast beforehand and my nerves were really acting up. So much that I didnt really want to eat, but I did. I have no clue why the anxiety set in, because I really was excited for the tour. He helped me work through it though and I was good by the time we arrived. The tour catered mostly to vaginal delivery procedures, we couldnt even see the OR room for c-sections because it is so sterile. Although I am hoping to do a vaginal delivery, I was curious of how things look if it doesnt play out that way. I did speak up and ask a few questions and the nurse was helpful in answering them. We learned about admittance, the different rooms we will be in, visitor policies, what to bring, the NICU, lactation consultants, circumcision, cord cutting, etc. 
• We have narrowed our choice for a pediatrician down to 2. I eliminated one of the 3 practices we were looking at for the simple reason that they wanted to charge me to meet the doctor for a prenatal consult. Um, no. Now the decision comes down to do we want a small office with just one doctor, or a large practice with rotating doctors and nurse practioners? 
• We signed up for two classes-one is infant safety, and the other is prep for labor & delivery. The infant safety course meets 2 times and the l & d class 4 times. I am excited to learn more at the classes. We also plan to take a CPR class closer to the birth with my immediate family. I did attend an informative breastfeeding class already, and I am hoping all goes as planned in that department. 
• I had my cervix check at 22 weeks and I am thankful to report that it is still long (close to 4) and closed. Baby boy weighs over a pound now and is growing as he should. There are some pics of him below! A few people said they see my resemblance in him already, but I cant see it. I did get scared during the ultrasound because the tech informed me that I was having a Braxton Hicks contraction. Well, at first she just said “contraction” and showed me it on the screen. She informed me they are totally normal, which I had already read plenty of times, but still. Id like to keep the word contraction out of my vocab as long as possible. She was having a hard time looking at my placenta due to the contractions and it took some time before they stopped finally. Placenta was fine. When I came home, I drank a bunch of water and gatorade and took a warm bath and realized my stomach started to relax. I didnt even notice how tight it had been until she pointed out the BH. I think I was a little dehydrated and it could have brought it on. When the OB called to go over my results, he assured me that with real contractions they increase in intensity and the cervix shortens…so, in other words..stop worrying!! Any ladies want to share about their BH contractions? Ever get them when dehydrated? 

• In my last post I mentioned the Tdap vaccine. Turns out hubby got the booster a few years back so he is all good there. Honestly he was my main concern. He is in & out of so many places with work and he coughs a lot to begin with. Now that I know he is vaccinated, I feel much better. I dont believe I will get vaxxed for it when I am still pregnant, if anything I will get it at the hospital afterwards. The peditricians we like so far said they will also do it for us and our immediate family at their office, so thats an option too. We will see. Thanks for all the input on this shot! 
• Im not sleeping well this week. I cant get comfy and wake up around 3 everynight and stay up. It sucks. I want to sleep on my stomach or back, and obviously I cant do either. I got one of those wedge pillows early on, but its not cutting it anymore. Im going to need some sort of body pillow, and I dont like the snoogle. I tried it and returned it. It was just too big for me, and the neck piece was uncomfy. I have a special pillow I use for my neck and I would like to continue with it. Most of the pregnancy pillows I see have a neck piece attached unfortunately. 
• We are hanging the shelves in the nursery this weekend since hubby took off. Im excited to put some decor on it after! Hope everyone enjoys theit weekend! 

Excitement v. Anxiety

We have some upcoming things in the next few weeks that I am super excited about! 

• Hospital tour!!! 
• Prenatal consultations with a few pediatricians 
• 24 week OB appointment (viability!!)
• Cloth diapering class 

After we accomplish the above items, we will start looking into childbirth/CPR classes to attend. 

While I am super excited, I am also anxious. But I am really *trying* to keep my anxiety at bay. I spoke with the midwife today about some of my current fears, like stillbirth. Knowing that my recurrent miscarriage history plays no role in this happening helps me some. Also, how uncommon it is. She did tell me it can of course happen, but to try and enjoy my pregnancy. So, I have started coloring again, and listening to my Circle + Bloom healthy pregnancy CD. I hadnt listened in about a month and it seems to help.

My anxiety has been up in other areas too, non-pregnancy related, like my safety. Just recently we got a gun, just in case God forbid someone breaks in or something.  Someone actually broke into our home that we still live in many years ago and we never found out who did it. I dont know what has caused my fears to resurface about this, maybe its my motherly instinct to protect my unborn child, who knows. Either way I feel better now knowing that I/we can protect ourselves if needed. 

Other news? 

I have gained about 20 lbs. total. My midwife seems to think I am right on track, but my MFM told me to “slow down.” LOL.  I mostly eat well, so there isnt too much more I can do. I gained majority of it during the first trimester. The cleaning ladies came today and commented about how much my bump had grown in the past 2 weeks. I hope so, I worry sometimes that he isnt growing as he should even though there is no reason for me to think this way. 

Here are a few bump pics since I havent shared on here in awhile!

Until next time friends! 

Still Cooking

I feel like it has been forever since I updated, when in all reality it has only been a few weeks. Since there is so much to update on, I will do it in segments.

Pregnancy

Today we are 20 weeks pregnant! Officially halfway there. A day I honestly thought I would NEVER see. We are so grateful to say the least. 

Yesterday I had a scare. I was leaking some sort of fluid and after it continued for a full day, I broke down and called my OB. This was of course, after googling like a mad woman, and freaking myself out completely. I had convinced myself that I was leaking amniotic fluid and had ruptured. I was beyond petrified.  

My hopes were that the nurse would just tell me to come into the office to be checked out, not go to the hospital. Nope, not the case. They sent me to labor & delivery so I could have a test called the Amnisure done there. Basically, a q-tip is inserted vaginally for 1 minute and then it is tested for amniotic fluid. The results take anout an hour to come back.

So, my mom drove me to the hospital. They rushed me upstairs in a wheelchair to the labor floor. Keep in mind, I had changed my undies (sorry if TMI) 3 times already before noon due to the fluid. Upon arrival to the floor, they wheeled me into one of the delivery rooms and this is when I lost it. I looked around and saw the baby incubator, the baby board where mom and baby’s name go, etc. All these things that I did not want to see at just 20 weeks pregnant. My name was even on the board. I started crying out of fear. I was here way too soon. 

I got undressed into a gown and they started monitoring for contractions. No contractions. The nurse informed me that my OB would be coming to do the test herself. She arrived soon after, and talk was taking place about if I had ruptured. The steroids, the antiobiotics, the hospital admittance, the bedrest….the chances of baby making it. I could only pray at this point. My OB did the Amnisure swab test, tested my urine, and listened to baby boy on the doppler. She also checked my cervix and I was not dilated at all. Thank God. 

The hour wait seemed like a lot longer. Finally, my OB and the nurse came in right after I heard cheers from out in the hall. The test came back negative for amniotic fluid. I had not ruptured. Such a huge sigh of relief. It also came back negative for an infection of any kind. The fluid was either normal pregnancy discharge or pee. Yep, pee. And Im going with the latter, although it is quite embarassing, simply because I know how small my bladder is. A urologist diagnosed it years ago as 3x smaller than average. Looks like I will be investing in some Depends soon! 

After I was discharged and got home, I was so tired I pretty much collapsed and slept for hours. I hadnt slept much the night before because I was worried about the fluid and I was dealing with a barking dog. Amongst all the madness of the day, it was also our 9 year wedding anniversary. Hubby was on call and didnt get home until late, but we were able to spend some time together once he did. 

Today was our appointment at the MFM for our fetal echocardiogram where they take an in depth look at the heart, even more than at the anatomy scan. Again, I was worried something would be wrong. I feel like its almost their job to find something wrong at the high risk doc. But I was wrong. His heart looked perfect. The midwife who met with us after reassured me by saying, “we have seen it all here, we are looking very closely, and he looks normal in all areas, no concerns.” I thanked God out loud over and over. My cervix is also still measuring long, close to 4cm and my placenta previa is completely resolved. We honestly couldnt have asked for a better report. 

I will head back to my regular OB in 2 weeks to check my cervix length again. I will be 22 weeks then, and they will only do one more cervix check after that at 24 weeks. Its hard to believe we are so close to our goal of 24 weeks, or viability. Only 1 more month!! 

I am starting to feel miracle move more & more now. It is still sporadic, but I know it is him. The ultrasound tech today felt him kick and it was pretty cool. Hubby hasnt felt him move yet, Im hoping within the next few weeks. Overall, I am feeling well and I cant complain. All I want is for him to keep cooking as long as possible. 

Nursery 

The carpet is in, along with the crown molding and baseboards. Hubby has assembled the crib, bookshelf, and changing table.  Today my mom and I went shopping and she bought us a rocker/recliner for the nursery! It will be delivered in a few days. We are so incredibly thankful for what her & my stepdad have done for their future grandson already. 

We have not hung anything up yet on the walls, but we have been ordering items. Our desire is to keep it classy and simple. So far decor wise we have a mirror, a clock, a shelf, a growth chart, and a soft whale to hang. I am totally obsessed with Pottery Barn Baby and have pretty much gotten everything from there. I will post pics once it is all done but here is one of the adorable whale…

Baby Shower 

I am all done registering for our shower. This was so fun and something I dreamed of for so so long. I am hoping to get some of what we picked! My amazing cousins, aunt, & friend all pitched in and surprised us with an early shower gift already…a mamaRoo!!! I cant even tell you how excited we are…hubby put it together straight away so we could play with it. 

My mom and I also just ordered the shower invitations and menus. The invites will go out towards the end of month.  They are just so cute! We decided on the centerpieces, games, favors, etc. I wont say too much because I dont want to spoil it for those coming. Speaking of those coming, several of our out of state relatives plan to come it sounds like. I feel so honored and never expected this! 

I feel like there is more, but I have been going on for some time now. Sending love to all of you who took the time out of your busy day to read this…thank you! 

Saying Good-bye Again

The title may seem alarming, so let me assure you that we are not saying good-bye to another baby. Thank God. Instead, I am saying bye to my job once again. 

As many of you know, I am a teacher and sufferred through 3 IVF cycles, all to followed by miscarriages, while in the classroom. After the 3rd loss, I resigned for various reasons (mostly for my sanity), but long story short, I ended up only taking the summer off before heading back into the classroom yet again this past year. I must say I am so happy that my arm was twisted a bit and I got to put in one more year at my amazing “A” rated school.

When we got pregnant from this 4th IVF cycle back in April, I ended up having to take yet another medical leave in May due to it being a heterotopic pregnancy. Between the recovery from that surgery, and a large SCH that popped up, I never made it back to finish the year off with my students. 

As usual, the school that I had been at for the past 6 years was more than understanding. I had a wonderful team of adminstrators and teachers who took over and got done what needed to be to keep things going smoothly. For that, I am forever grateful.  

After my SCH cleared up, I found out I had complete placenta previa about a month ago. I was, once again, put on limited movement. It was then I realized that since we found out we were pregnant back in April I have pretty much been on bed rest and pelvic rest. 

The good news is that my previa is moving and it is already marginal, not complete anymore. However, both my OB and MFM doctor feel that being on rest has served us good throughout my pregnancy so far. Hubby and I have to agree. This is the farthest along we have ever gotten. 

Which brings us to the good-bye. Per doctors orders, my medical leave will be extended until baby comes in December. After that, I will continue my maternity leave as I originally planned until the end of the school year. This being said, I will be out for the whole year. 

Once again, I have received open arms from my principal and team mates about this situation. This really helps because I hate to disappoint those who count on me. Plus, lets face it, being home all the time allowing your mind to race isnt the easiest thing. And financially, well, I dont even need to go there, because most middle class folks understand the struggle here. But staying home, stress free, off my feet all day, is the BEST thing for a healthy full term baby and thats the priority right now. We simply cannot risk it. 

So that was the “big” secret I mentioned in my last post. It might not seem “big” to some, but I love my job and will miss it a lot. I guess we will see what Fall 2017 has to bring for me and my teaching career…

A Cliffhanger

My OB just rang to let us know that our AFP test came back negative.  For those who dont know, this test measures for an elevated protein in the blood that indicates Spina Bifida. The Panorama test that ruled out trisomies earlier in our pregnancy did not test for this. So, of course, this is fantastic news! 

In other great news, my Medela In-Style Advanced Double Electric breast pump has arrived, free of charge thanks to my insurance. It was quite easy to apply for the pump. All I had to do was go to Medela’s site and enter my and my docs info. From my understanding, under the Affordable Care Act, most should qualify for a free pump. It is def worth checking out since pumps are so darn expensive nowadays. *Note-there is no income verfication for this. 

Symptoms? 

I have failed to add this piece into my last few posts. So here goes… Low back pain takes the cake. Its awful! Are there any ladies out there that can recommend a back brace/support for this?? I plan to ask my MFM at my next appointment, and if he cant assist, I may make an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon to see what he says. My scoliosis and herniated discs are not helping this situation Im sure. Things like the pool and stretching do relieve some pressure but I think I need more. 

Pregnancy brain is going strong. Usually math is my strong suit, and lately I have noticed my computation is quite off. I even forget things like what month or year it is. Crazy, I know. I have also been experiencing some “brain zaps” which I attribute to going off my Lexapro (generalized anxiety disorder medication). I hadnt advertised here that I was ever on Lexapro, but cat out of the bag, after our last loss occurred back in the spring of 2015 it was what was best for me.  I never mentioned it because some people tend to judge, especially those who have not experienced true anxiety or panic.  Anyways, I started weaning off of it this pregnancy at 12 weeks, and was completely done by 16 weeks. I knew prior to being pregnant this time that I wanted to be on it through at least the first trimester, but off of it before my 3rd trimester, as it *can* be associated with pre-term labor, poor lung development, withdrawls for baby, etc. Needless to say, I have been off for about 2 weeks now and almost all of my withdrawls are gone except for the odd brain zaps here & there. Id try to explain these zaps, but I dont know how. Anyone who has gone off of a medication probably knows what I mean. 

Being on the Lexapro/going off the Lexapro was a really tough decision, but we had the opinions of many doctors, close friends, and family to help us. In the beginning, the benefits outweighed the risks (and we thank God everyday that baby has proven to be healthy despite being on it), but the further along we get, the risks outweigh the benefits. U fortunately, I can definitely tell that my anxiety has come back since off of it, but it is manageable and I will survive. 

Other than preggo brain, anxiety, and backaches, Id say my only other symptoms would be difficulty sleeping at night and excessive hunger. Im used to sleeping on my stomach which is becoming harder by the day. Although none of these are anything to complain about…All worth it for baby boy! 

This week my mom and I are meeting with the cake lady to finalize the baby shower cake. I dont want to say too much about the cake, Id rather it be a surprise.  Speaking of surprises, we are about 98% sure of miracles first name! Picking baby names is tough, and boy names are even tougher. Throw in being a teacher and having had a student in your class with every name and you are screwed. Lol. We are really just debating middle names more than anything at this point. 

I do have some other major news to report (nothing to worry about), but it wont come until later in the week or next week. Ill leave you all in suspense until then…

Radio Silence

This is probably the longest I have gone without blogging in quite some time.

Before I begin, it is important that I say that I do not by any means want to take away from the wonderful fact that we are now 17 weeks pregnant…I still can’t believe it and thank God numerous times a day. 

However, my mindset changes daily… I go from being on cloud 9 to crying my eyes out.  I am sure a lot of this is the normal hormonal pregnant woman, but I believe some of it is also due to our past.  I never had any idea how hard pregnancy after loss would actually be. When you are so used to things going wrong, it’s difficult to believe things are finally going right.  In addition to being naive about the challenges of pregnancy after loss, I was also quite naive about how I would feel so much better (mentally) once I got out of the first trimester. All I can say to that is…YEA RIGHT (sarcastically).  Instead of early loss, you just worry about late loss.  As a recurrent miscarrier, unfortunately those fears don’t just disappear the farther along you get.

Despite the roller coaster ride of emotions, things have been pretty uneventful the past few weeks.  At 16 weeks, I officially stopped taking all forms of progesterone. Since I was on triple progesterone, my RE weaned me off one at a time.  First was the Crinone at 12 weeks, then the PIO shots at 14 weeks, and finally the Prometrium at 16 weeks.  I was incredibly nervous to go off at first…wondering “will my body do what it needs to do???”  Thankfully, so far it has and I haven’t had any bleeding from it, or from the Placenta Previa.  

In the meantime, I also started back up on the Baby Aspirin to prevent any clotting since my Sub-Chorionic is long gone (my RE took me off it back when that was around) and I am a heterogeneous carrier for a Prothrombin disorder. Other than the baby aspirin, I am just taking my prenatal and Folgard.  It’s so weird not to be taking a million pills a day! To be honest, I cried when I put away my pill boxes, band-aids, gauze pads, syringes, and alcohol wipes.  Not because I was sad to be done with them (Im not that crazy), but because of the many tough days and nights associated with them.

In order to keep tabs on my cervix, I have been seeing either my OB or the MFM every week. Today we saw the MFM doc for our anatomy scan.  I guess he prefers to do them a little earlier than usual.  I had to use my doppler before the appointment to calm my nerves.  The scan lasted about 30 minutes and hubby and I got some great pics of miracle.

The tech keep commenting on how active he was, so she was having trouble getting the pics of his brain that she needed.  She had to tap my stomach with the wand a few times to get him to move out of the way, which of course freaked me out.  I barely touch my stomach, let alone tap on it.  Yes, I know baby is protected, but still. Not taking any chances here.  Anyways, he finally cooperated and she got what she needed!

We met with the doctor right after, and he thoroughly went through each image with us.  Baby boy looked normal, or as I like to call it, perfect, in all areas.  He was even measuring a week ahead in some places.  My due date has gone from Christmas day, to the 23rd, to now the 20th.  Speaking of due dates,  we were pretty sure a C-section was the way we would be bringing our son into the world (due to my prior fibroid surgery and the previa).  Well, after speaking with my RE this past week about the specifics of my fibroid removal, it appears we may have a chance of delivering vaginally still.  Here is the email we received from her…

So, if the Previa moves up as most do as the pregnancy progresses, we wont be scheduled for a section anymore.  It seems like we will just be taking it a day at a time with this, and make decisions as we go.  Although my main concern is that baby enters this world safely, I must say I am happy to know that there is a chance I could deliver naturally now.  I feel like so much of this process has been “un-natural” that it would be nice to have something I could do naturally.

The MFM doc laid out his plan for us today.  He said he likes to monitor his IVF patients a little more frequently than not, which means appointments every 2 weeks until about 28 weeks. From his experience, he said that ART patients tend to encounter more placenta problems than non-ART patients. I didnt ask too much about what these problems could be, Id rather just not know unless needed. Unnecessary anxiety! 

The next appointment we will look more in depth at the heart (he did confirm all 4 chambers were there today), the appointment after that we will do a vaginal swab that tests for any trace of pre-term labor chemicals, along with continual cervix checks.  My cervix was at 3.8 today…anything over 3 is good.  Praying it stays nice and long!

On the home front, exciting things have been taking place! Hubby painted the nursery, and we ordered the carpet and baseboards.  They will be installed in a little over a week. The crib, mattress, and bookshelf have all arrived too.  We won’t be unpacking them until the carpet goes in though.  

Hubby is planning to get the closet organization system in within the next month or so.  I am reallllyyy looking forward to this because currently all the baby clothes are spread out randomly throughout the house.  I can’t wait to see it all come together! And I cannot wait to go in the room and nest a bit too!  I also started our registry which has been a ton of fun.  Thankfully, I have had the assistance of some of my great friends and family members.

Things are happening fast, and we are getting closer to our goal of 24 weeks everyday.  I am always thinking of all the TTC ladies out there, regardless of where you are at in this process.  Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.
 

ER Visit

I started feeling some pressure down there on & off this past week. After a few days of it, I phoned the on-call service at my OB’s office. My main fear was that my cervix could be shortening, even though it measured over 4 at my last ultra. The on call doctor referred me to the ER (I hate the ER). 

We ended up at the ER where my practice delivers soon after. The doc there (not part of their practice) did an internal exam and an abdominal ultra. He said my cervix “felt” closed and that baby was actively moving around with a good heartbeat. However, he said he could not get an accurate measurement of my cervical length there…in fact, his exact words were, “they always do it wrong here.” Real comforting to hear about the hospital right?

Anyways, he called the on-call doc at my OB practice and she said I should come in the next day when they open for an accurate measurement. Which, I might add, is what I wanted to do in the first place, but she freaked me out over the phone and encouraged me to go to the ER. Frustrating! 

I called my OB’s early the next day as instructed, and informed the receptionist of what was going on. She tried to tell me they didnt have any openings and would need to send me to the hospital. Um, no! I requested a nurse call me back. After an hour, still no call, I called again. A different receptionist said they were working on it and would call me back. At this point, I was irritated. How do they know how serious my situation is? I think some urgency would be nice. 

Around lunchtime, a nurse finally called me back and said they could get me in that afternoon for a cervical measurement scan. I asked if I would get to speak to someone about the results while I was there. She said no, someone would just call with the results, but that if things were bad, they wouldnt let me leave. Okay, whatever. 

The technician was sweet. She started with an abdominal ultra and I proceeded to tell her that these are not as accurate with cervical measurements. Why do I feel like I need to constantly tell medical personnel what is needed or not? So she said she would do an internal for the length. Thankfully, the cervical length was still over 4, & baby was alive & well. I think he was pretty annoyed (I cant blame him at this point) and wouldnt even look at the camera. 

I figured I was in the clear, until I got a call from the nurse this morning. She asked me if I knew that I have complete placenta previa? Um, no. Well, I do. She said it could be related to the pressure I am feeling down there. She recommended pelvic rest, and modified bed rest. Yep, back to the bed I go! I had a few weeks off from it at least.

I asked her the most important question of all-will this cause me to miscarry? Of course, I would have liked a solid “no” it will not. Instead I got, “nothings guaranteed, but most women who follow the instructions given go on to have successul pregnancies.” From my own research since, it appears that an early diagnosis such as mine is better than a late one. Some other points-

• A c-section is a must (already was happening from my fibroid removal) 
• I could experience painless bleeding at anytime
• This could resolve on its own, as my uterus grows, the placenta could move up with baby 
• If it doesnt resolve, hemmorage during birth is a major concern

I will be getting monitored weekly now instead of bi-weekly. I am thankful everyday for this pregnancy, but honestly cannot wait until December. I have set a smaller goal of getting to 24 weeks, or viability, since December seems so far off. Only 9 more weeks until then. I can do it. 

Please share with me your success stories with complete placenta previa. Thank you! 

First MFM Appt & More

We had our first appointment with the high risk doc this week. For the first time in awhile, I wasnt nervous going into the appointment (thanks to my doppler). In fact, my blood pressure was actually in normal range when taken. This is unusual for me. At my RE’s office, they learned to take it at the end of my appointments, after my scans, when my anxiety was gone. This time I had it taken before our ultrasound…celebrate the small steps!

The MFM office was very different than what we are used to. The office was packed, with row like, uncomfortable seating. There were loud kids and kids toys everywhere. Complete opposite of a fertility clinic. At our RE’s office, there were nice, comfy chairs and it was quite peaceful. We also had to wait over an hour, something else we arent accustomed to either. Despite the differences, we stayed open-minded and had a good visit overall.

One thing we both really liked was the huge flatscreen hanging on the wall in the ultrasound room. We didnt have this at our old clinic, and its nice to not strain to see baby on the little computer screen attached to the machine. We also had an abdominal ultra which was reassuring that we are moving along in this pregnancy. I coulnt believe how big our boy has gotten since we saw him last! 

The ultrasound tech kept commenting on how active he was. He was kicking away, although I cant feel any of it yet.  Last time we had a scan, it was tough to make out the facial profile but we can actually see hubby’s resemblence in the pic above. Simply amazing! 

After our scan, we met with the mid-wife (next time I will see the doc) and she reviewed our history and the scan. Thankfully, all looked perfect on the scan. Even though we did the Panorama already and it was low-risk, they still did the NT test and it came back negative too. Ill be going to my OB in 2 weeks and then back to MFM 2 weeks after that. Basically, appointments every 2 wks to measure my cervix. Speaking of my cervix, it was long (just over 4 cm) and closed. Thank God! 

I am 14 weeks today (officially out of the first trimester by all pregnancy calendars out there!!) and my new concern has become my cervix shortening. I had the LEEP done back in 2004, along with lots of other surgeries that put me at a slightly higher risk of it happening, such as d & c’s. I know plenty of women who had the LEEP and have been fine, but my mind sometimes goes down the path of negativity. A late term loss seems unimaginable and devastating. I am praying with the team of doctors I have we will catch anything that could occur right away. 

In other news, we put up a new fan in the nursery this week (thanks mom!). I really loved it because it has bead board blades and we are going with a whale theme which is somewhat beachy like the bead board. 

We also got the paint for the walls. This weekend we are tearing out the carpet and small baseboards in there so we can paint it. I cant wait! It’s also hubby’s bday tomorrow so we have a busy weekend ahead of us. 

Any symptoms? 

Weight gain! I couldnt believe it when I got weighed at the doctor this week. Im okay with it, just surprised. Ive already put on close to 10 lbs lol. Headaches on and off. Moodiness here & there. Lower backaches lately. I have pretty severe scoliosis to begin with (I wore a back brace for yrs as a kid), and a herniated disc, so I knew this was likely to be a problem during pregnancy. Hubby has been massaging me, and I have been icing it as needed. I still havent taken a hot bath or shower, which is what I miss more than anything right now. 

I ordered a few onesies off etsy and I must share them with you…

You cannot find things like this in stores so its well worth it. We also became FB official with our pregnancy this past week. A happy, but scary move for us. 

The pic included our due date, a shout out to our clinic, and one of our fav bible verses, 1 Samuel 1:27. 

When discussing my symptoms, I failed to mention my pregnancy brain as of lately (gee imagine that!). It has been bad, luckily Im not working right now bc I have been forgetting everything. That being said, I think there was more I wanted to say here, but it has slipped my mind.

Where to Begin?

Ill start with an update on the doppler I ended up purchasing last week. I went back & forth about getting one, and I took every review written by you all in my prior post into consideration. Let me start off by saying I am so glad I bit the bullet and got one. 

When it first arrived, I was nervous to use it. I purchased the Sonoline B and it was only $35 new with shipping included. I got it off a website called Jet.com and there was a first time user $15 off coupon. I watched a few you tube tutorials before I began. I got frustrated after some time (probably 20 minutes) of not being able to find the heartbeat. I didnt freak out though, as I knew this could likely happen, especially the first time. So, I took a break, drank some juice, and let the dogs out. I was back at it for probably another 2o minutes when I realized that I had been focusing mainly right below my belly button, as this is what most of the you tube videos showed working. I decided to go lower, like all the way to the top of my pelvis bone. And wa-la! I found Miracle’s little heart beating away. I got butterflies as soon as I heard it! So special. 

Since the first day using it, I have been able to locate the heartbeat every morning within a minute or two. Miracle has been hanging out in the same spot all week so it makes it really easy. I first tried the doppler at exactly 11 weeks, and I have been told that baby will start to move up a little as I approach 12 weeks. I am assuming this means I wont be finding Miracle in the same spot, but thankfully I am prepared for that and hence not going to worry when that occurs. Overall, I would definitely recommend this product to any woman who needs the extra confidence during pregnancy. It really helps.

In other exciting news, we got the results of our Panorama screening test back. The results given come in 1 of 2 ways- high-risk or low-risk. Baby came back low-risk  for all trisomies tested! Thank God. We were prepared to love our child fully either way, but it is still a relief. The only other major screening I will do is the AFP (I believe thats the correct acronym, not 100%sure) at 16 weeks for Spina Bifida. 

We also found out the gender from the test!!! Initially, we planned to have a gender reveal party with our close friends and family. My mom offered to host, and it seemed perfect. As time went on, I started to reconsider having a party. I really have no clue why, but I did. In the end, hubby & I decided to do an intimate reveal with just the two of us, my mom, stepdad, & brother.  So when the doctors office called and said the results were in, I threw on some clothes and raced to get the results. We then went straight to Publix with the envelope! Thankfully, the lady at the bakery was super nice and said she would do it right on the spot…only a 20 minute wait! 

As hubby & I waited, I felt so nervous. It seemed like a million years. Eventually, we got the cupcakes and headed to my mom’s with our 2 doggies (of course they had to be part of the fun!). Hubby & I were sporting pink because our votes were girl, while the others thought boy. Mostly all of our friends and followers voted girl, with a few exceptions. 

We set up our phones to video and all cut the cupcakes at the same time…and we are thrilled to report we are having a baby BOY!!! Ahhhh!!! Such a shocker! We are so so so excited. 

It was such an amazing experience to share with our family, one I will never forget. Ive already watched the video a thousand times! Lol. After the reveal, mom & I had to go do a little shopping. We got some cute outfits I must say. 

Today I went for my 12 week OB appointment and we got to see baby again on ultrasound. He was being shy and it looked like he threw up his fist at us like “leave me alone!” At our appt, we set up bi-weekly scans for monitoring my cervix length starting in 2 weeks. I will get these until I am 24 weeks along. I also got the referral to an MFM doctor, which I will be seeing soon. 

Lastly, I found out I will have a c-section. At first, I was bummed because I really wanted to try naturally, but the more I thought about it, I just want what is best for baby and I. Since I had a myomectomy for my fibroid removal, and it was in my uterine wall, a vaginal delivery isnt safe. I guess my uterine wall could rupture because the muscles just arent as strong. My tenative date is set for December 18th. 

Its hard to believe we are nearing the end of the first trimester. I thank God everyday. I never thought we would be here at times. I pray everyday we get to bring our little boy home this Christmas. 

Graduation Day

A bittersweet day. More sweet than bitter of course, saying good-bye to my RE’s office that is. Since 2013, this has been what we have been working towards after all.  

Its been a rough week leading up to todays appointment. A few days ago, I realized that my nausea and gas had tapered off. Of course this made me a nervous wreck. I also noticed I wasnt as thirsty in the middle of the night as I have been and no dizzy spells. Even though my boobs were still passing hubby’s daily test, I had bitten every nail and cried at least 3 times in 3 days. Poor hubby. He even surprised me with a sweet Pandora baby carriage charm to try and cheer me up. It was beautiful and I was so grateful, but still it didnt take the anxiety of a loss away. Pregnancy after loss is brutal. I cant and I wont sugarcoat it. 

In fact, the only thing keeping me somewhat sane was my insatiable hunger. I must eat every few hours or Im a mess. I wont even begin to tell you some of the guilty pleasures I have given into, because I know its the least of my concerns right now. Eating is about the only relief currently for me. Anyways, my RE reminded me via email that around 10 weeks majority of symptoms start to wane. For most, this might be a nice relief, but not for someone who has experienced a missed miscarriage before. 

As I drove to my appointment today, I thought of every drive I have made to the clinic over the years. The feelings of joy, fear, anger, disappointment, loss, doubt, love, hope, excitement…all overcame me. When I checked in, I sat down and stared down at my tiny bump now starting to show. What if I lose it again after all this?All of it seemed overwhelming. I tried to remember the prayers hubby and I said earlier, and the verses we read. Even though it was tough, I knew God was with me. 

It didnt take long for Miracle to appear on the screen. Our baby is doing so great. Look at those little legs! Just from last week the progress is simply amazing. I felt so thankful seeing the life that has been entrusted to me from above thriving.  

I had a bit of a hard time saying bye to my doc. We hugged and talked, I reassured her I would stop in, she told me not to hesitate to get in touch with her and that she is still here for us. We do have 1 embryo left in her care so I tried to remind myself that today is more of “see you later” than “good-bye”
1 week from today we have our 12 week doppler with our OB. Im officially off bed rest, but plan to take it easy still. I did order the doppler as of last night, and it should be here by next week. I figure this will help me get through the weeks Im not getting scanned. Im quite used to seeing baby every week, but at least we will still get to hear baby with this. 

We are anxiously awaiting the gender results. Its been 1 week since the test, and it can take up to 2. I was so set it was a girl initially, but now Im leaning towards a boy. Hubby says girl, mom says boy, and doctor says boy….most of my friends say girl…so who knows! The Old Wives Tales are tied! What is your guess???

In other news, I have many blessings to report. For starters, our cleaning lady is working out great. It really has been a weight off our shoulders right now. We plan to continue this throughout the duration of my pregnancy.  Second, Im happy to report that I am done taking my Del Estrogen injections. One medication down! Third, my dear friend from out of state has put together a package that she is mailing to me this week. The package includes all of her maternity clothes, a sling, baby monitor, etc. How blessed am I to receive this! Next, all of the days I took under FMLA unpaid were covered by my amazing co-workers, meaning they donated me their sick days so I could get paid. I am speechless for this and so happy I work at a school with people that are more like a family than anything else.  

All this being said, despite the anxiety, I am starting to believe this may really be our take home baby. It feels like a lot of things have fallen into place and for that I thank God. Everyday I get to carry this life I am so incredibly honored.