- Breastfeeding *can* be the most rewarding, yet most frustrating thing you will ever do.
- That (damn) Moro Reflex, once deemed cute, will undoubtedly keep both you & your baby from sleep at some point.
- Opening a bag of chips will wake your baby from peaceful slumber while something as loud as siren probably wont. Eat all the chips you can now.
- In the same day it is possible to feel like the worst mom ever one minute and just the opposite the next.
- Deep sleep is hard to come by. You realize you will sleep soundly again one day when you die. But not until then.
- Forget watching a TV program all the way through without any interruption. Binge watch when pregnant.
- Pretty much anything you swore you wouldnt do, you will do, so better off not saying it.
- Getting peed, pooped, drooled, or spit up on (notice I didnt say vomit here) isnt really that bad after all. Not being facetious here.
- You will likely have a whole new set of appreciation for your own parents, especially your mom. Yes, it sounds cliche, but it is true.
- It is possible to care for another human being (that has been in your life for just a short time) with a love so pure you never knew existed.
Hubby took a day off this week & we ventured back down south to the ritzy area where Isaac lived for 2 years before he was transferred back to my uterus & we finally brought him home. It is really crazy to think he was frozen in a lab for that long. Mind boggling modern science is. Anyways, we headed this way to visit our RE & her staff. We promised at our last visit back in May of 2016 (when we graduated) that we would return with him once he entered this world.
We did not call ahead, instead we crossed our fingers & hoped our doc would be in. I chose to stop in around lunch time as I know they dont schedule patients then. One of the things I hated most (speaking as a recurrent pregnancy loss patient right now not an infertile patient) was seeing pregnant people or ones with infants come in. Perhaps if I had only been infertile and not suffered so much loss it wouldnt bother me as much. Maybe I would look at it as hope instead of heartbreak. Instead the loss made me resentful when I saw it.
Thankfully the waiting area had not a soul and we were greeted by the receptionists we know all too well. They immediately came around the counter & let us know they received baby boy’s birth announcement in the mail. They ooed and awed at him. I should have prefaced this by saying how nervous I was as we drove to the office. Weird right? What was there to be nervous about? Its not like I was headed in for a blood draw, ultrasound, or procedure. For once I was on the other side. I had made it! But still the anxiety lurked. I couldnt help but think of all the times I had made that dreaded drive and all the various feelings that accompanied it. Im happy to say that once we arrived it faded away and I felt more like a conqueror than anything else.
Soon after arriving, our nurse and phlebotomist came out. Lots of happy squeals and “after all you went through” statements followed. Hubby held baby while I gave hugs. Finally our RE came out with the biggest smile you ever did see. We embraced and then she quickly stole little one away from us. I was able to capture a photo for the baby book of the 2 of them (we plan to be very open with our son about what we went through). What a feeling standing there with the whole staff, everyone full of joy for once. I cant explain it, but it was so surreal.
We had a canvas with us that we had picked up from our newborn photographer just prior to our visit at our RE. Our photographer was actually referred to us by our RE originally. Well, the photographer loved our baby boy so much that she offered to do a complimentary canvas for our RE’s office. Truly a compliment. My RE was thrilled.
I cant tell you how many years I sat in that office staring at the beautiful baby canvases and daydreaming. Now our baby was on a canvas and would be going up on one of those walls. Feelings of being incredibly blessed & content overwhelmed me. Again, we made it I thought. I am well aware so many dont get to the other side. Motherhood after loss and infertility that is. It could have turned out differently than it did. And I thank God everyday it didnt.
Later that day, after we left, my RE sent me a message via FB. It was short & sweet-“thank you for stopping by, it made my day” and my response was “likewise.” As a teacher I used to live for the days when my previous students would come back & visit. It let me know I did something right. I would like to think this is how she felt when we stopped in.
I never comment on any of my “Thoughts of the Day” but this one, I just couldn’t resist!
Motherhood…it is a feeling that begins in the heart!!! Just because you don’t have a baby here on Earth doesnt mean you dont understand what it’s all about. I personally have no children here on Earth, but this image sums up my feelings and experiences perfectly.
That said, this post is for every woman that has begun the endless work in their heart of a being mom-TTC, pregnant, angel moms, adoptive moms, biological moms, foster moms, fur baby moms, etc. We all display tremendous strength despite our fears!