The End

147 days. Through latching issues, to having a tongue & lip tie clipped, to using a shield for almost 2 months, to a few nasty bouts of thrush, to low supply & taking all sorts of supplements, to an oversupply & an overactive letdown & having to pump all the time, to horrible acid reflux & adding thickening agents to my milk just so he could drink it, to seeing numerous lactation consultants & just trying to make it through the days, one damn day at a time. I breastfed my son for 147 days, just 1 month short of my goal of 6 months. And Im proud. It wasnt easy, perhaps the hardest thing I ever did (other than infertility & loss). In fact, it was harder than laboring for 22 hours with him. Dont get me wrong, it was wonderful at times. Gummy smiles, boob drunk sleeps, breastsleeping. All the feels. I wouldnt change it for the world. But it was so hard. And the world doesnt make it any easier on someone struggling. They are always trying to provide another suggestion or advice, when sometimes what a mom needs is simple understanding. I didnt know how tough quitting would be on me, not just mentally but physically too. Ive experienced withdrawls including headaches, dizziness, nausea. Its no joke. We have been weaning for about 2 weeks now & Ive shed lots of tears. Ive watched him go from eating to just looking for comfort. And although I know without a doubt the timing was right (prolly even sooner than now), it is SO bittersweet. I can only hope that I get to experience this bond again one day. If not, no regrets. 

147 days ❤️

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Clipped

I mentioned baby boy had a tongue & lip tie in my previous post. Well, they are no more! We got them clipped today. We saw a local holisitic pediatrician and board certified LC who is known around town as the only one to do it before a baby is 6 months.  

The past week since trying EBF & quitting pumping has been difficult. Baby latches on and off during feeds, latches incorrectly, gums me, feeds constantly, etc. So today brings a sense of relief and a step forward for us. Before the procedure, I breastfeed for the doc to show her what we are experiencing with our feeds. She observed for a bit and then examined him only to confirm that he did indeed have both ties. She then explained the clipping to us which took longer than the actual action itself.  It literally took 30 seconds to do it. I cried more than he did I think. Immediately following the clipping he was put back on my breast to feed. I guess the breast is the medicine for all. 

He latched on well and stopped crying right away & he hasnt shown any signs of pain or discomfort since thankfully. I was told that is the norm since they are so young. I am feeding him as we speak and plan to do so as much as he needs, even for comfort today. So far so good with the latch. I also purchased a recommended supplement to increase my supply and my lovely mom made me 4 dozen delicious lactation cookies. We have a follow up next week & hope to have good news to report.


In other news, Isaac gained another lb since our last appointment! I am so grateful for this since we have had some feeding challenges. He now weighs 9 and 1/2 lbs. He is getting so big so quick! Almost all his newborn clothes have been outgrown now. 

I just realized this is the first post as a mom I have written in paragraph format. All of my posts since his birth have been list style, bringing me to my point…pregnancy brain is real, but mom brain is no joke. Its been hard to fathom compiling all my thoughts into something that could be easily read, so forgive me if this is jumbled. 

I had my postpartum visit the other day. All looks well and I have been released back to my “normal” activities (exercising, intercourse, bathing, etc.) I am excited to start stroller walking daily, in fact we already began as a family of 3 plus the 2 dogs. It was great and baby seems to sleep much better. He is also loving bathing in his 4 Moms tub. Up until he turned a month old we had been doing just sponge baths which he hated. When we put him in the tub he looked simply amazed. Perhaps a feeling of being back in the womb? Anyways, it has become a highlight of my day to see him so relaxed in there. 

We have been getting out a bit more, Isaac ate inside his first restaurant with our in laws who are visiting from Ohio. I have been avoiding a lot of indoor public places as it is flu season and I did not get a shot for it. He really loved looking all around and being so stimulated. I just love to watch him, we are so very blessed. 


I guess that is all for now, thinking of all you no matter where you are in your TTC journey. God Bless ❤️