Ohio Trip

It has been a few weeks since I last blogged. I have had a few of my fellow bloggers reach out and email me to make sure I am okay. I found this to be so incredibly thoughtful of them. Thank you!

For the past 9 months, I have blogged at least 3 times a week, sometimes more. If I wasn’t blogging, I was at minimum reading and commenting. But the truth is, I haven’t really been in the mood lately for any of it.  As one of my blogger friends told me, “it happens to the best of us.”  

Anyways, during this blogging break, a few things have happened that I will catch you up on. For one, we finished all of our Christmas decorating, both inside & out. I plan to post all about that sometime this weekend.  

Second, we took a trip to chilly Ohio over the Thanksgiving holiday.  Our trip was great; a perfect balance of R & R and being on the go.  After a long day of working, driving, and flying, we kicked off this trip with 25 of our closest friends and family members at one of our favorite restaurant’s late on Thanksgiving Eve.  We ended up at another local hang out after and Uber drove us home pretty late (guess I am out of the loop with this Uber stuff, first time I heard of it!).  

  
Thanksgiving was spent with our families just relaxing, watching football and movies, drinking wine, eating, and playing games like chess. The weather was perfect, a crisp 40 degrees, ideal for a hoodie and sweatpants to be lazy in! A much needed break from the 90 degree weather we are used to.  

   
 
On Black Friday, I was lucky enough to spend some time with one of my very best friends. We did lunch and shopping, getting completely soaked in the process. The weather was quite miserable, about 35 and raining all day. I love the cold, but not the cold rain. If it’s cold and wet, it better be snowing.  Regardless, it was a good time (as always when we are together) and she helped me solidify my outfit for my hubby and I’s photo shoot.  

Saturday was spent watching the BIG game, a.k.a. The OSU v. Michigan. We hadn’t been home for this since 2002, so my hubby was pretty pumped. Anyone from the midwest knows this game is a major rilvary. Everyone watches it. Period.  Thankfully, OSU won and our day wasn’t ruined! LOL. Saturday night we attended a surprise 30th Birthday party for my first cousin and saw people we hadn’t in probably 10 years. Good times for sure!

  
The remaining parts of our trip were spent going places we miss, love, and cant go to when we are home in FL. We made sure we went to the apple orchard, and got homemade cider and donuts. Delicious to say the least! We also went to the zoo for a Christmas light show which was absolutely beautiful. My hubby surprised me after the zoo and took me to the spot we had our first date over 15 years ago…Subway (we were only in high school). We went in and sat in the same booth we did that night and got chocolate chip cookies. So sweet of him! I am blessed. 

   
   
   
   
On our way to the airport yesterday, we had some very special pictures taken professionally. I will share these pictures soon in another post. I must say the ones the photographer has shared with us so far have left us speechless and I cant wait to share them with my fellow IF/RPL community.  

On our way out, we also picked up a special onesie that we could not resist. It’s the first purchase we have ever made together for our future baby when we are not pregnant. We both know one day our baby will get to wear it! 

  
As for now, vacation is officially over and it is back to reality tomorrow. Today was spent washing clothes, unpacking, grocery shopping, and loving on our dogs who we missed so much.  I had originally planned to get my first of 3 Lupron injections today, but did not. I’ll save the details of that for for another post too! 

I hope everyone had a great holiday, and I will try to catch up soon with where all of you are in your TTC journeys. Until then, baby dust to all !!!

Post Birthday Reflection 

I am officially 33 now. In actuality, the day wasnt that bad after all. I totally worked myself up for nothing. 

In fact, the day was pretty nice. I was woken by my husband with 2 sweet cards and a giftbox.  One of the cards was a birthday card, the other a just because card. I must share with you the just because card.  

A little background to the card first. Many of you know that our Chihuahua fur baby, Nacho, passed away over a year ago.  I miss him everyday.  When my hubby was at Walgreens looking for my b-day card, he came across this. 

  
Unreal! What are the chances of finding a card that has your dog’s name and breed, and looks almost identical (see the real Nacho below)?!? Such a sweet reminder that he is looking over me each day. 

 

My hubby purchased a lovely Northface jacket that I can take on our trip up north in a just few weeks. I love it! Then I went on to work as usual after our morning together. There I was showered with love from my amazing team of teachers. They even ordered a yummy lunch for me! This is a big deal in teacherland because we cant leave for lunch. They made it happen though.  I took my class out for recess, even though it wasn’t our regular day to go out, and the kids were like, “but it’s Wednesday!” My reply was “but it’s my Birthday!” Haha. They took it. One of my students even gave me a pretty candle. 

 

When I arrived home from work, my mom had left some things on our kitchen table for me to open. A gift card for a mani/pedi, a fondue set, and an adult coloring book. I cried when I opened the coloring book because I have been wanting a bible verse one for quite awhile now! I have several other types but the bible ones are not as easy to find.  I mentioned it one day to my mom and she remembered, which really made me feel special. Here is a picture of all the spoiling that took place from friends, co-workers, my spouse, and my mom & stepdad…
  
My dad and stepmom also sent me much love from out of state with this adorable Coach clutch, just my style!

  
That evening, my love and I went to dinner. We ordered way too much food! Two appetizers, salads, bread, and our main courses. There was NO way I could do dessert. 

At the end of the night, we booked a getaway to the Gaylord Palms Resort in Orlando. I am thrilled!! We only live a hop, skip, & a jump away from this area, yet we have never been to this resort. I have driven by it millions of times on our way to Disney, but that’s the extent of it. At Christmas time, they go all out. The hotel is an atrium with a massive tree in the center, 22 million lights, and a program they put on called ICE! Its only 9 degrees inside of ICE. Brrrr! I will be sure to post pics of this experience after. 

I seriously havent felt so spoiled in such a long time. I know I have said it before, but I will say it again, I am so blessed to have such an amazing support system in my life!! I think 33 might be my year!!

Welcome November! 

Since my post Halloween rant, I have brainstormed all the reasons why November is going to be such a marvelous month…

  1. We gained an hour of sleep this month. I love sleep.
  2. My birthday is November 4. Must be an awesome month! 
  3. I work a total of just 16 days. Hearing that makes it oh-so-do-able.
  4. By the end of this month, we will reach the half way point of the 180 school/work year…yes, you heard right! 
  5. I get to do fun, yet educational Thanksgiving activities with my students. 
  6. We are going on vacation and will get to kick back and relax while we see great family and friends. 
  7. In honor of prepping for vacation, I am getting a manicure, pedicure, and my hair done.
  8. Such delicious food this month.  I love food.
  9. The stores will put away all of their Halloween crap, and bring out the real Christmas stuff. Up until November, Christmas only gets 1 aisle because of Halloween. No more! This makes me feel like I can really start buying presents. 
  10. I get to start decorating for Christmas. Those of you who know me know I like to go all out. 
  11. Christmas music will officially be on the radios and likewise, the shows will be on TV. 
  12. I get to make my famous fruit turkey (pictures to follow). 
  13. The weather must cool down this month. 
  14. It is the 5 year anniversary of rescuing our amazing dog, Rocket. 
  15. The Ohio State v. Michigan game is this month. This is a big deal to mid westerners.  Might I add, we will be in Ohio for the game, which hasnt been the case since 2002.
  16. We are getting some very special, professional photos taken. I am so excited about this opportunity.  I will do a separate post about this. 
  17. I have 1 more Stitch Fix delivery on its way before I go on my every 3 month schedule. 
  18. Mockingjay Part 2 comes out. Yes.
  19. November will continue to remain 1 of the only untainted IVF RPL months in our history. 
  20. We are one month closer to bringing home our baby. 

I think I could keep going, but I will leave you with the best ones. For each of the 10 negatives I gave you yesterday, I was able to (easily) come up with 2 positives today.  Happy November everyone! 

Soulmates-My Baby, Her Belly 

We meet tons of people throughout the span of our lives. Maybe you have heard the saying, “some people come into our lives and quickly go, others stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.”  I believe we can categorize these people into groups based on our relationships with them.

  1. People we never say more than 2 or 3 words to such as “hi and “how are you” in passing just to be polite (a co-worker in a large firm, a fellow jogger or person waiting in line with you). 
  2. People we wish we would have never said more than 2 or 3 words to, unfortunately did, and now avoid them at all costs (acquaintances, ex-boyfriends, or friends turned bad). 
  3. People we interact with for professional, need based reasons (hairdressers, postmen, bankers, doctors, realtors, etc.) 
  4. People we deal with only on or at special occassions because we feel obligated to do so (fellow Christmas party goers and wedding party guests, great aunts and uncles we havent seen in 15 years, or any family member that we are distant from). 
  5. People we enjoy spending our time with and vice versa (good friends & family). 
  6. People who we cannot imagine not having in our lives for its entirety, who we would do anything for, and vice versa (soulmates). 

*Note-these are all totally subjective generalizations; yes there are surely exceptions and overlaps depending on who you ask.  

To most, a soulmate is looked at as 1 romantic, intimate life partner. I too, look at my husband as my 1 and only romantic soulmate.  But is it possible to have a soulmate that has nothing to do with romance? 

I would say so; I would say it all depends on your definition of a soulmate. To me, the defintion of a soulmate is what I described in category #6 above.  For this reason, I also consider my mom to be my soulmate. I could even go as far as saying I consider my furbabies to be too.  The past few weeks, I was really reminded that I am blessed to have friends in my life that are my soulmates as well. 

  

A few weeks back, after our FET was cancelled and we got the bad MRI report, I was feeling pretty down. Literally, I was in bed crying, thinking about how weak I am, and how I wanted to give up, when my husband brought in an unexpected card from a cat 6 friend and handed it to me. It was exactly what I needed at exactly that moment.  

  

A few days later, I sat and cried again, staring at the computer screen. I had just researched the cost of an average carrier in the U.S….$50,000, with the most expensive part being hiring someone you do not know to carry. We knew there was no way this could ever be afforded.  Ever.  And we were so frustrated that neither one of us have a sister to even consider asking for help.  Neither one of us would ever as a friend, its just too much to expect of someone in our opinions.  But having someone you know as the carrier significantly reduces the cost. 

Next thing I know, my husband hands me more unexpected deliveries from another friend from category 6.  Again, the timing was nothing short of a miracle from above.  

These cards were numbered in the order to be opened

If you have been following our infertility, IVF, and RPL battle you know that eventually we *may* be faced with pursuing our family through a gestational carrier.  I said in my post yesterday that I had some uplifting, positive fertility news to tell. I am not going to go into detail about it, but I will share this much-one of my cat 6 friends, who has been following our story all along, who is one of my soulmates, has extended the offer of carrying our child for us should it come to it in the future.  She said it would be an honor to do so.  

There are really no words that can describe this incredible, selfless offer or the magnitude of our wonderful friendship. 

For those of you who are struggling, who think everything seems impossible, and who are feeling that there is no hope left-my husband and I get it. We really do. In fact, just a day before this offer we said we might as well give up on our dream of our family. But I want to remind you that there is always hope my friends.  Just when you are at your weakest and about to give up, God will remind you there is hope. 

Busy Weekend Actively Coping 

If you read my last post about my therapy session with Dr. G, you would know I am trying to live through my grief by actively coping. Basically, this equates to living my life as happily as I can while still stuck in the thros of IVF and RPL. 

Thursday kicked off my weekend since Friday was a teacher workday.  Anyone who teaches knows that the days without the children are pretty much considered days off.  This being said, I went out with an old friend for dinner and drinks Thursday night.  I hadnt seen her in several months so it was nice to catch up and have some laughs.  

Although Friday was a day without students, it still ended up being a whirlwind of a day. I had to attend professional development, get grades and comments done for report cards, and decorate my door for Red Ribbon Week (drug prevention program).  I ended up working from 7:45 until 6:15.  Long day, but got what I needed to accomplished.  

My last name is Fish so I am always using my name to my advantage! The kids love it! They each got a sea creature and a speech bubble for their drug free message.

Saturday I woke up and started grading college work for the online class I teach. Of course, grades are due for both of my jobs at the same time.  After getting most of it done, and running some errands, I took a break and hit the pool with a friend for a few hours. So relaxing! 
Later, it was time to hit the 8th Annual Halloween party we attend each year. Hubs and I had originally planned to go as clowns, but made a switch at the last minute. I guess you could say we were rocking a “western theme.” The party was a blast! The decorations, food, games, and people were all amazing.  

 

On our way to the rodeo
 
Today, I woke up feeling quite exhausted from being on the run for 3 days.  It still didnt stop though! My friend and I planned to attend a craft show in a cute part of town.  We browsed and had lunch, both feeling a little rough from the late night before.  Look at what I got, adorable…

  
Eventually, I came home, finalized the college course grades, and did some house work.  Not much house work might I add. My husband is off Tuesday and he said he will take care of it then…thank God! I am beat and its back to the grind tomorrow.  Not only is it of the start of Quarter 2 at school, but a new college course I am teaching starts up this week.  Ugh. 

Oh, and how could I forget to tell you that none other than my lovely period graced me with her presence today…4 DAYS LATE.  Im never late, but knew better than to think I could be pregnant, especially when not even trying (thats what happens to normal couples lol).  So, I just took a bubble bath, some motrin, and put on the heating pad.  

I do have some upbeat, positive fertility news to share sometime this week. Stay tuned!