I have officially been on bedrest for only 14 days, but if you count in the bedrest after the embryo transfer (+48 hours) and all the bleeding episodes, I would guess I am up to about 25 days of it or so. And I suspect the rest will continue until the 2nd trimester.
So what am I doing all day to keep my sanity? Well, it depends on the day. Some days I read my “Expecting Hope After Pregnancy Loss” book which helps calm me down a bit. Other times when I want to distract myself, I have been reading the rather thick Nicholas Sparks novel, “See Me.” Ive also spent some time flipping through glam magazines and the such from a care package I received a few weeks ago. Speaking of care packages, another one arrived today. The charm is simply perfect and Im grateful to know I am in anothers thoughts and prayers during this tough time.
To relax, I spend time listening to my Circle + Bloom pregnancy CD, and watching cheesy lifetime movies. My mom visits almost daily, and I have gone to her house a few times as well. In my other time, I sit on the patio with the dogs (who are highly enjoying me being home all the time), surf the web pinning cute baby things, and stuffing my face! I would have to say the thing I miss the most is taking hot baths. Boy, do I want to submerge myself in one.
I started the triple progesterone therapy last week, even though my level came back at a whopping 84 prior to starting. Its kind of a pain doing the Crinone again (yuk), and Im hoping that at our appt this week the SCH will be gone and we can just do the oral meds and the shots.
I will be 9 weeks this Friday. I am very nervous of another missed miscarriage. I have felt nauseous on and off today more than usual so that comforts me a bit. Anytime I feel lousy I am pleased. Hubby “checks” my boobs everyday to make sure they are still swollen. As he says, ‘the boobs dont lie.’
If all goes well this week, next week we will be getting the Panorama blood test done. It will take about 2 weeks to get our results in. This is the only test we have opted to do, as it is supposedly about 99.9% accurate for genetic anomalies. It will also tell us the gender of the baby. We had originally planned to do a gender reveal party, but I go back and forth with the idea of it. I guess we will decide soon. I still havent taken 1 “bump” picture. I am pretty sure Im going to wait until 12 weeks or so.
Yea, this post is all over the place just like me right now. Keep us in your prayers please!!
For all my non-infertile followers, the lingo means 3 days past a 6 day (old embryo) transfer. Day 1 is counted as transfer day since it is an FET. So yesterday was day 2, and here we are today at day 3 already.
In the past, I have gotten a positive pregnancy test at home as early as 6dp6dt. People have asked me numerous times if I will test at home this time. The honest answer is I have no clue. Every time I tested in the past during the 2ww, I already knew intuititively that it worked. I had a good amount of symptoms early on in the past so I wasnt that scared to test at home before beta day. For now, I am just taking things literally one hour at a time.
Do I have any symptoms so far?
Each day I have had some, quick, slight twinges and a sharp cramp here or there. Nothing major. I know this could be the embryo(s) trying to implant. Its really hard mentally not knowing if they have succeeded in doing so when I feel that. I can only hope so.
Other minor “symptoms” I noted-
1 dizzy spell per day since 1dp6dt. This has been a sign of a BFP in the past for me, but I really dont want to read too much into it. Could just be dizzy. Same goes for my extremely dry mouth in the middle of the night the past 2 nights. Could just be thirsty. This morning, at 3dp6dt, I felt nauseous. This could easily be my nerves, as it is totally gone now. And lastly, when hubs & I had lunch today, things stunk really bad. Again, could be a coincidence, but Id like to note all that happens for my own records as I have in the past. For the most part, I feel totally normal, which makes sense because it is so early.
How has my diet been?
Overall, healthy. I already told you what I ate on transfer day, so I wont go there again.
2dpt6dt-multigrain waffles, avocado & banana smoothie & pomegranate juice for breakfast, a salad topped with chicken, tomatoes, cucs, mushrooms, carrots, etc. for lunch, beef stir fry with asparagus for dinner, pineapple core & brazilian nuts for dessert.
Today-almost exactly the same breakfast & lunch as above, but add in a hard boiled egg (thanks mom for making me these!) & some raspberry serbet from Kilwins. Dinner is yet to be served, but will be chicken, potatoes,& green beans.
How is bedrest going?
Good! Ive just been taking it easy, but not confining myself to a bed. Ive elevated my feet often to keep my blood flowing when I am resting. I must say that I am so thankful for my hubby. He has cooked me all my meals, taken care of the dogs, & kept up with things around the house. Im also so thankful for my mom & stepdad, who came over yesterday & brought me these absolutely beautiful flowers.
I have been binge watching some shows, reading, praying (a lot in the middle of the night), & meditating to my Circle + Bloom CD. Ive also been cuddling up with my dog & a blanket in my comfy Papasan chair out on the porch since the weather has been so gorge. Ive been napping quite a bit, as I have been waking up through the night more than usual.
Today, we decided to get out for a bit & go to a luxury cinema. We had never been to one, & boy was it cool! This one had huge, reclining comfy seats, a full service bar and menu, and a wait staff. We saw Batman v. Superman (hubbys choice not mine), I would have preferred Zootopia, but you cant have everything can you?
How am I doing mentally?
Okay. Some moments are really tough. I bought this lovely 2 week wait cards and yesterdays hit home.
My biggest concern right now is that it didnt work. When I read the card, and it said “how would you handle if your worst fear came true?” I decided to really think about it. My answer was “I wouldnt give up, we would try again.” It did help me handle this fear. I just need to keep reminding myself of this now.
Its been really nice being off work. I head back Monday. Im praying for the kids to go easy on me; thankfully I am blessed with an amazing group of kids this year. I need to remind myself not to push it, there is only 1 month left until summer. Less stress, the better.
Will update soon with more rambling…Prayers that Itty & Bitty are already snuggled, or snuggling in 👶🏻👶🏻
The fluid was gone and we were feeling so blessed. Our transfer was on for the day originally planned. We went out to dinner the day we got the wonderful news, which was the night prior to the transfer. We celebrated the fact that God was allowing us to move forward with this FET cycle. I can’t say that we weren’t still nervous, because we absolutely were. For one, we were frightened I would not get pregnant. Ironically, we felt this way because the embryos had implanted the prior 2 IVF cycles and we thought it had to not work at least 1 time. Almost everyone we knew in the realm of IVF had at least 1 cycle that a pregnancy was not achieved.
And of course there was the fear that if it did work, I would miscarry again. I was especially petrified of this thought. My hubs is the most amazing partner I could ever ask for, but for a man, a miscarriage, or even the thought of one, is different. I am not in ANYWAY saying that it isn’t devastating to a man, because it is. I have witnessed this first hand. Rather, I am simply saying by nature, in regards to a pregnancy loss, men don’t worry or hurt the same way we women do.
We woke up the morning of December 19th, and had a big breakfast in honor of the big day. We didn’t get up super early because our transfer wasn’t set until 1 p.m. You heard me right! We had to wait all day. Our prior transfers had always been first thing in the morning, which was really nice. Less time to sit around and ponder all day. To pass time, we walked the dogs and cleaned the house a bit. I knew I wouldn’t be cleaning it for a while if I ended up pregnant. My house had pretty much been in ruins for almost a year now. Each time I had been pregnant (or miscarrying), I was off of my feet. My hubs tried to do the best he could to keep it clean, but my idea of clean is slightly different from his. And anyone who knows me, knows I like to keep a clean house (I take after my mother).
We also went grocery shopping that morning and stocked up on some food for the week. After a transfer, I was incredibly paranoid of doing anything that could cause the embryos not to implant, or even worse, if they did implant, miscarry. Normal things like cleaning the house and carrying groceries now became a concern for me. I know what you may be thinking-miscarriages don’t happen from things like this!! I am not saying they do… I am just telling you what is going through the mind of a recurrent miscarrier. Unfortunately, once you have experienced a loss, you don’t think the same way about being pregnant as before. Truly, you are tainted. Or maybe scarred is a better word for it.
1:00 finally rolled around. The embryologist came in and gave us the picture of our day 6 embies. Both had survived the thaw again! One was actually even beginning to hatch. The doctor and nurse came in shortly after. They informed me that I was the last transfer for the 2014 year. Then they asked if a medical student could come in and watch the procedure. At this point, do you know how many professionals in the field of medicine had seen my girl parts? Needless to say, we said sure.
You know the routine from here…dim the lights, fill the bladder, clean the cervix, and turn on the soft music. Begin the ultrasound on the abdomen, insert the catheter, locate the catheter on the screen. Make sure the catheter is in the right spot in the uterus. Call in the embryologist with the embryos. As all of this is happening around you, you are holding your breath so you don’t move a muscle. Think about how delicate and precious an embryo is. Once something happens to it, that’s it. There’s no repairing it or getting it back. This being said, I even began to worry I might sneeze. Sneezing became a fear. Boy, the things you take for granted sometimes.
Well, I didn’t sneeze and the second catheter went in with ease. The doctor released the embies and there on the screen we saw the 2 little bright white dots. We were all smiles as we held hands. There’s a special feeling, almost a certain kind of peace, that comes with seeing your embryos finally being placed in your uterus. When you conceive naturally, you never get to see your sweet embryos in utero. I say this only because if you are trying to find positives in a process sometimes filled with negatives, this is one.
After resting for about a half hour, we set up our first beta for exactly 10 days later and headed home. As usual, I was on bed rest for 48 hours, with all intentions of taking it easy well after that. Winter break had officially begun at work, and I was off until January 6th, 2015. With Christmas not even a week away, all of our decorations were up and all of our shopping was done. Really, all we could do now was sit back and wait, and of course, pray. The 2 week wait had just begun.
As promised, this post details our first IVF from the “stim” start to the pregnancy test.
Our goal is to share our experiences to those who are thinking of doing IVF, getting ready to do IVF, or have a friend or family member going through IVF.
Although every individual’s journey is different, we hope that this can provide you with some general insight on what to expect. When we began IVF, we had a lot of these questions ourselves.
How often I went to the doctor for monitoring
Since we knew I would be going to the fertility practice a lot once our “stim” began (before egg retrieval, when you are pumping up your body to produce a zillion follicles that will hopefully produce nice, mature eggs), we arranged to start it over my Spring Break (teacher perk) so I didn’t miss work. And if I felt lousy, I could relax at home.
Our stim was 10 days total. Here are the days I went in for blood & an ultrasound, with my estradiol (fancy for estrogen) levels and follicle amounts (future eggs):
Stim Day 1-estradiol level 18
Stim Day 4-estradiol level 211; 16 follicles
Stim Day 6-estradiol level 744: 18 follicles
Stim Day 8-estradiol level 1556: 20 follicles
Stim Day 10 (trigger day!)-estradiol level 2619; 22 follicles
NOTE: It is important monitor the estrogen levels frequently because if they get too high, you can hyper-stimulate. My doctor never wanted to see these levels rise much above the 3000 mark before retrieval to prevent hyperstim. Many doctors will cancel the cycle before the trigger shot/retrieval if the levels are too high (we knew someone personally this happened to).
The doctor told us that our stim was textbook perfect! We were soooo happy since this was one of our worries. My body was reacting fine to the meds and we were moving on to the retrieval on day 12.
The medications I was prescribed during “stim”
Follistim– 150 units once daily into stomach, rotating sides. Easy injection, must be refrigerated. Tip: Take it out of the fridge about 15 minutes before so the liquid isn’t so cold when injecting! Be sure to do this injection at the same time each day.
Menopur-75 units once daily into stomach, rotating sides. This one stings a little & is a pain in the you know what because it doesn’t come ready. You have to mix it! Unreal for the amount of money you are paying right?! I think a nurse should come with the meds for the cost. LOL. We messed up the mixing once and I cried (those tears we talked about in prior post). Thankfully, if you mess up, there will be (a little) extra of the meds, so don’t worry too much.
Pregnyl “Trigger” shot-this injection is done only 1 time which is 36 hours before the egg retrieval. For me, it was on day 10 of my stim. It is different for every woman based on how follicles are maturing when the ultrasounds are done. I won’t lie, this shot royally sucks. It is an intramuscular injection, unlike the Follistim & Menopur which are subcutaneous injections (right beneath the skin). They tell you to have your husband do this injection because it needs to be in the a*** in a specific spot. Initially, I thought I would have him do my injections for me. When it came down to it, I would grab the needle from him. Don’t ask me why, but I was more scared to have him do it than do it myself. So, needless to say, I injected the Pregnyl & it hurt!
Prenatal vitamin/Folic acid/Baby aspirin 1x per day
Doxycycline- antibiotic to start the night before the egg retrieval and 2 days following
The medications I was prescribed after the retrieval until the day of the pregnancy test (if pregnant, continue Estrace, Crinone, Prenatals, Folic Acid, & Baby Aspirin until out of 1st trimester!)
Medrol-oral 4x per day, for 4 days after retrieval
Estrace-oral or vaginal pill 2x per day, this is estrogen
Crinone-vaginal suppository 2x per day (Yucky!), this is progesterone
Prenatal vitamin/Folic acid/Baby aspirin 1x per day
The Retrieval
It was finally the end of March (remember we started birth control in February). We couldn’t believe we made it to this day! This is a big step for an infertile. With IVF, you have to remember that anything can go wrong at any given time. So we were elated nothing had gone wrong…yet.
I remember feeling so ready to get those eggs out of me by the time the morning of the retrieval rolled around. I literally felt like a goose ready to lay a bunch of eggs LOL. Totally bloated. Surprisingly, I wasn’t that nervous, just a little thirsty since I hadn’t eaten or drank since the night before.
When we arrived, my husband was taken to the “man room” to do the most important count ever. I could tell he was pretty nervous. Maybe that is why I wasn’t. I knew if I was, it would make it worse for him, especially since he is usually so calm. Turns out, all went well with Shane’s count; it was the highest it had ever been. Still low, but definitely an improvement.
He couldn’t be in the room during the retrieval, just the doctor, RN, & anesthesiologist. Once I was prepped and in the surgery room, the doctor showed me a tiny window pass through where the embryologist (and the sperm) wait for the eggs to be handed off to her immediately after they are retrieved. We elected to do ICSI along with IVF (where the embryologist chooses the bests sperm and injects them into the eggs).
I chose to be under general anesthesia for my egg retrieval rather than localized, or twilight anesthesia. General anesthesia costs more, but it was worth it to me. When speaking with fellow IVF’ers, many told me the retrieval was the worst part of the process. Maybe. When I woke up from the retrieval, we were informed that everything went perfect again! Another BIG step. We had heard horror stories of no eggs being retrieved and were scared to death it might happen to us. We had 19 eggs retrieved. Woohoo!! The doctor seemed really happy & told us we would hear from the embryologist the following day.
The Days Following the Retrieval
Now we were biting our nails on whether or not any of these eggs and sperm would actually form embryos. Remember, I told you it’s 1 worry at a time while you are breathing, sleeping, and eating IVF.
The embryologist called us the next day and told us that overnight:
18 eggs were inseminated via ICSI
Of the 19, 13 fertilized normally with Shane’s sperm, forming embryos
More fantastic news! The embryologist would continue to be in touch with us over the next few days so we knew when we would be transferring. In IVF, supposedly the longer the embryo grows, the better. Why? It is like survival of the fittest. The best embryos make it and the others usually don’t.
This made me laugh!!
Day 3 after the retrieval we learned that:
5 of the 13 embryos were no longer viable
8 of these embryos were still viable and growing 🙂
Again, we were very pleased with the news. However, the next few days I began to be a nervous wreck. What if all of the remaining embryos die off like the 5 others did??? I was reassured it wouldn’t happen. No one can assure you of anything during IVF.
Day 5 following the transfer we were informed that:
Our 8 embryos were still viable! Thank God.
The embryos were graded as follows:
3 embryos were 6AA (best grade you can get…hooray!!!)
2 embryos were 6AB (second best)
3 embryos were 6BC (not the best)
TRANSFER DAY WAS SET FOR TOMORROW!!
We made it to day 6!!
The Transfer
We welcomed the month of April 2014. This is was the day/month we had been waiting for for years! Our transfer was 6 days post retrieval, the latest a transfer can be done before the embryos must be frozen. Many people have transfers as early as 2 or 3 days after their retrieval, depending on how well the embryos are doing. Since this was our first IVF, and our embryos were graded great, we decided to transfer only one 6AA embryo.
The actual transfer itself is a piece of cake compared to the rest of what has been going on (it only takes about 5 minutes). You get there about 30 minutes prior and they prep you. You need to have a full bladder for the transfer so the uterine cavity is able to be clearly seen on ultrasound. This was hard for me because I have a really small bladder to begin with! If you are in the same boat as me, you can ask them to fill your bladder for you (I learned this on IVF #2) right before they transfer the embryo. This way you don’t even worry about drinking & miserably holding it. After the transfer, they will drain it for you while you rest. Ahhhhh.
Good news-this time hubbie gets to be in the room with you, and you are awake!! He sat by me & held my hand the whole time. We were in the same room as for our retrieval so the embryologist can access the room with the embryo when the doctor is ready. The embryologist actually comes in with a picture of the embryo before the transfer and discusses it with you. Again, all was going very well. I was starting to think maybe this wasn’t too bad after all!
Then the RN begins by doing an abdominal ultrasound to make sure the bladder is full & the uterine cavity is clear. If this looks good, the doctor cleans out the cervix since you have been sticking that gooey Crinone (progesterone) up there for a week now! Ughh. My doctor always plays music during transfers. Hey, whatever floats your boat I guess. The lights are dimmed so it is actually more of a relaxing atmosphere than you would think.
She then inserts a catheter (painless) into the uterus, and what’s nice is that you are seeing all of this take place on the ultrasound screen right next to you. After the doctor makes sure the catheter is in the right place, she calls for the embryologist to bring the embryo in. It feels like an eternity for this to happen. Literally. The embryologist brings the embryo in a catheter that fits into the doctors catheter. You are praying that they both have very steady hands. You start thinking what if they drop the catheter? What if they insert it in the wrong place? Dear God.
The doctor releases the embryo and you actually see what appears to be a little white dot on the screen in your uterus! Super cool. It could be your future baby! After the embryo is in the uterus, you rest there for about 30 minutes. I make my hubs tell me jokes so I can laugh. It’s good for the soul right?
Before we left, the doctor explained that everything went perfectly with the transfer. Another step in the process accomplished. We set the date of the blood test to see if we were pregnant for exactly 10 days later. Yes, this my friends is what is called the excruciating 2 WEEK WAIT (even though it’s not really 2 weeks, it feels like 4, so it’s earned its name for sure).
The 2WW
The next 48 hours are strict bed rest (missing more work for sure). A lot of doctors aren’t big on bed rest, but mine happens to be. If yours is too, make sure you have some movies, books, and good food of course. We watched Frozen and I started reading Wild. My hubs made sure I was off my feet and pampered me. It was nice.
Then the new phase of worrying began. I can’t lie, the next 8 days were difficult mentally. Anyone who has been through IUI or IVF knows this. We both went back to work and tried to keep our mind off it. Thankfully, I had state testing going on at school so that kept me somewhat focused. But the thought of what if it didn’t work kept creeping into my mind. It’s pretty consuming.
Day 6 post transfer we decided to go out to dinner with our family. It was a Friday night, and my aunt & uncle were in town. I remember sitting across the table from my mom and I could smell her wine. A little later, my hubs came back from the bathroom and I could smell the soap on his hands. I felt off. That’s when I knew it had actually worked. I was pregnant; for now.
Surviving INfertility 