Crickets

Where do you begin when you haven’t blogged in over a year? From an avid blogger to a ghost. Some people might think you fell off the face of the Earth. Others could guess you have tried to turn over a new leaf, assuming you are trying to put your “infertile” past behind you now that you have a baby….I wish it was that easy.

So many times I have stared at a blank screen and wanted to write. I miss blogging. I miss using my voice & interacting with such a supportive community. Blogging was therapy & a huge part of my daily life for years.

Anyways, so here I am. I am back. I never really left. I silently read posts and commented in my mind on them. Prayed for those hurting, rejoiced with those rejoicing. Why havent I blogged? I guess I feel out of place at times now since having my rainbow baby. I am worried I might hurt someone still in the trenches. I dont want to be misunderstood. It is difficult to put it all into words really. Hopefully as time goes on I find how to put it all into words because writing this tonight makes me feel good and reinforces how much I have subconsciously yearned for it.

I will leave with this thought which has been on my mind lately-Infertility without an earthly child is hard, but so is infertilify after having one. Will the feelings of infertility & loss ever truly leave one’s soul? Until next time ❤️

22 thoughts on “Crickets

  1. So glad to hear from you!

    And I don’t think the infertility feelings ever really go away. I think sometimes we are too busy to think about them as much, but they are still there.

    ❤ Hope all is well!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for this post and congrats on your miracle baby! I think it’s so hard to find a place to fit in and finding your new norm after a struggle such as infertility. However, I think it’s still important to share your struggle…your journey…and share about the hope that you held onto in the midst of all the hardships. I had my 2nd baby after struggling with infertility and I am in a similar place where I don’t know quite where I fit in. We are beginning to think about the possibility of having a 3rd to complete our family. I know the struggle it is and the support that will be needed yet I don’t want to be judged because I have 2 already. Having 2 doesn’t make the struggle any less. I’m glad you found your voice again and you are not staying silent! Welcome back!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Some of my favorite blogs are from those who resolved but haven’t forgotten about the rest of us. Few things in Blog Land make me feel lonlier than the whole, “So long, suckers!” of an infertility blog gone silent (I know that’s prob not how it’s meant, but totally how it feels). I sincerely hope you continue blogging. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • I know exactly what you are saying. Before I had miracle, I would get upset at the bloggers who had a baby and disappeared from blog world. Swore I would never do it. Then all of a sudden I didnt know what to say anymore. So weird and hard to explain. But regardless I am happy to be here now & thankful to have u still here for me ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I know this may sound weird but I think not blogging or going long periods of time without blogging is a good thing. It means we have moved forward with our lives and the pain and thoughts of infertility are not a daily struggle or reminder. I’ve blogged twice in the last year and it’s mainly cause I have nothing to write about as infertility and the struggle is not on my mind much at all. There are other things in life going on occupying my thoughts and time.

    Liked by 1 person

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