May 2, Past & Present

May 2, 2016 was the last time I (physically) went to work. At the time I had no idea that would be the last day I walked into my 3rd grade classroom to teach.

I had been bleeding quite a bit over the past weeks since my BFP and figured I was having yet another miscarriage. The pain became overwhelming so I left work and headed to my RE’s office. 

This is what we saw…

Relief. A heartbeat. Followed by horrible news…the other embryo had implanted in my fallopian tube. And it burst. And I was bleeding internally. Things became a blur as I was rushed to the ER for surgery. All I knew is that I had to undergo general anesthesia at just 6 weeks pregnant and was told the chances of the baby in my uterus (who is now sitting next to me) had a small chance of surviving it. I was devastated. I thought not only am I going to lose my tube, but another baby again. 

I came out of the surgery and so did Miracle with his heart still beating. I was told the next 48 hrs were crucial. I was in so much pain I could barely move after the surgery. It was worse than my c-section recovery by far. 48 hrs came & went, and there he was on the screen, still alive. 

We battled subchorionic hemmorages and placenta previa over the next few weeks, with lots of bedrest, but we made it to full term just in time for Christmas. God fulfilled the desires of our hearts as He promised He would.

Here we are in the present, May 2, 2017. If I had chosen to return to work from my FMLA leave it would have been today that I went back. I thought I might have mixed feelings about not being there when the day came, but I feel peace. I even had a cardinal and a butterfly visit my yard at the same moment and I like to think it was Isaac’s twin stopping by for a visit to let me know he or she is alright.

I know here at home with my boy is where I want to be. And might I add that while I always knew teaching was challenging, I had no clue that being a stay at home mom was even harder. Its by far the hardest job I have ever had, yet the most rewarding. Ill leave it at this—Stay at home moms dont get enough credit! Shoutout to my mom who stayed home with my brother & I…I get it now.