Excitement v. Anxiety

We have some upcoming things in the next few weeks that I am super excited about! 

  • Hospital tour!!! 
  • Prenatal consultations with a few pediatricians 
  • 24 week OB appointment (viability!!)
  • Cloth diapering class 

After we accomplish the above items, we will start looking into childbirth/CPR classes to attend. 

While I am super excited, I am also anxious. But I am really *trying* to keep my anxiety at bay. I spoke with the midwife today about some of my current fears, like stillbirth. Knowing that my recurrent miscarriage history plays no role in this happening helps me some. Also, how uncommon it is. She did tell me it can of course happen, but to try and enjoy my pregnancy. So, I have started coloring again, and listening to my Circle + Bloom healthy pregnancy CD. I hadnt listened in about a month and it seems to help.

My anxiety has been up in other areas too, non-pregnancy related, like my safety. Just recently we got a gun, just in case God forbid someone breaks in or something.  Someone actually broke into our home that we still live in many years ago and we never found out who did it. I dont know what has caused my fears to resurface about this, maybe its my motherly instinct to protect my unborn child, who knows. Either way I feel better now knowing that I/we can protect ourselves if needed. 

Other news? 

I have gained about 20 lbs. total. My midwife seems to think I am right on track, but my MFM told me to “slow down.” LOL.  I mostly eat well, so there isnt too much more I can do. I gained majority of it during the first trimester. The cleaning ladies came today and commented about how much my bump had grown in the past 2 weeks. I hope so, I worry sometimes that he isnt growing as he should even though there is no reason for me to think this way. 

Here are a few bump pics since I havent shared on here in awhile!



Until next time friends! 

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36 thoughts on “Excitement v. Anxiety

  1. You look amazing! I’m sorry you are going through so much anxiety about the pregnancy. I can tell you that when I was pregnant with Luke, I was so on edge wanting him to be safe. Your concern over the wellbeing of your unborn child shows that you are going to be an amazing mom!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My anxiety has been through the roof since I became pregnant as well. About everything. Babies, car accidents, family members, money, neighborhood crime stats, you name it, I worry about it. Before pregnancy I rarely worried about these things. I think its the hormones. I also notice I worry more the more tired / exhausted I am. AND your bump is adorbs!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Looking great mama! I also put on 20lbs by 20 weeks (and I’m up to about 26 I think here at 29 weeks). Funny how different doctors have different opinions.

    I can completely relate to the anxiety, I am also curbing my fears about stillbirth. If I don’t feel the baby move for awhile, I get pretty scared and then I literally shed tears of relief when she starts up again. I think I should start the coloring as well.

    Sending love!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ooooh I love that dress!! Gorgeous! I hope the meditation and colouring helps with the anxieties.
    I’m getting very consumed and anxious about my upcoming 20 week scan! It’s been 10 whole weeks since we’ve seen Rocky!! I’ve had awful dreams about it recently, even linking it to the Brussels attacks in my dreams (nightmares). I reckon they trigger one another? Maybe that’s why you’ve been feeling anxious about the burglary? Brains are weird crazy things. But I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and get some colouring in again 💪
    Crazy, exciting times though 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was very concerned about our 20 wk scan and also the echo. I think u will feel some relief once u get through them. I did, my fears now arent so much about him but more about my body doing what it needs to do to get him here safely.
      Im so sorry u are having those horrible nightmares 😔 I pray they stop!

      Like

  5. For some reason the hospital tour helped with some of my anxiety. I think maybe seeing where we would be when he was going to be born allowed me to envision him arriving safely.

    I had a mental block with pediatrician consults and couldn’t bring myself to do it until I was like 36 weeks. I almost couldn’t get into the consultation/class my first choice requires to be a patient so it’s good that you’re super on top of it : )

    The weeks are going to fly by!

    Liked by 1 person

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