Throat Punch Time

Well, Ive gained 5 pounds since on the Lupron Depot. I weigh more now than I did when I was pregnant this time last year. Ugh. I checked, and weight gain is classified as one of the “non-severe” side effects of the drug. 

I know it might not sound like much weight gain to some, but I can feel it. I dont have the biggest frame to begin with, so any fluctuation in my weight is quite noticeable to me. I am barely 5’4, a B cup, and (was) a size 4. 

What really sucks is that throughout all my IVF cycles, my weight pretty much stayed the same, never passing a certain point, despite all the hormones and lost pregnancies. I guess things finally catch up to you after years of it in your (almost) mid-30’s! 

I have now officially passed my certain point. My clothes arent fitting good anymore, and the scale doesnt lie.  Sigh. What sucks even more about all this is that I really dont eat bad at all; I actually crave healthy foods for the most part. I mean, of course I have my splurges here & there, but they are minor and definitely not habitual.  That said, I cant attribute the gain to food, just drugs.  And I havent been exercising to help fight it off, been too tired. 
So whats behind the title to this post? As of lately, I have seen people (who know our history) glancing at my mid-section more often than before. Hmmmm… I wonder what they are thinking?!? I just want to tell them, “No, Im not pregnant, just getting fat.” If anyone did ask me if I was expecting after looking at my belly, it might be throat punch time. When I told my hubby this, he burst out laughing. While most prolly arent thinking of asking me this at all (its more like paranoia on my part), it still crosses my mind when they stare.

Anyways, since I have 2 more months of Lupron Depot injections, and probably even more hormones after that, I am going to have to take charge of this or I might be a blimp soon. That being said, losing it is what I intend to try & do. 

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24 thoughts on “Throat Punch Time

  1. Throat punch is said daily in my office! I have a dementia patient who EVERYDAY says “how’s sawyer? I say “he’s super thanks so much for asking!” Then he looks down at my stomach and says “oh and your next little will be here before you know it! So you wanted them really close?” After 3 months of this I finally wrote on a piece of paper “I’m not pregnant and it’s rude to ever ask that!” And signed my name and told him to put it in his wallet and when he asks me I tell him to look in his wallet. Not buying his whole dementia thing…he can’t remember my name, that I have a baby, that his name is sawyer and that I call him soy bean burger boy…he’s just a Dick and should be throat punched! !! Sorry about your gain! 5 lbs I know is alot for how small you are. I just know it’s going to be worth it in the end!!! When I was sad about my new “mom bod” after sawyer was born hubby helped me snap out of it and said we could either not have sawyer and have a super flat tight stomach or have sawyer and a few stretch marks. People are @$$holes!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That is the worst.. I put on SO much weight throughout my miscarriages and medication. I worked VERY hard to lose it, but it was so awful that you have to go through all of that and then you have added weight too. I think it’s great that you’re keeping track though. I got to a point where I refused to even step on the scale and just bought new clothing. I hope you can control the weight gain, but be sure to show yourself some grace. You look AMAZING as you are and you’ve been through (and continue to go through) hell. I have to tell you, I know so many are inspired by your resilience and your ability to control what you can and do what’s best for you. You’re one STRONG woman!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I second this emotion.

      I was on hormones and steroids (not to mention depression, anxiety and binge drinking) and gained 22 lbs over the last 3 years.

      I didn’t lose it prior to getting pregnant and my inner drill sergeant almost had a field day with that….

      But you know what, I’ve learned it’s ok to shoot the crocodile closest to the boat. I’m always trying to stay on top of everything all the time and it comes at great cost. For a while there I hit my ceiling and food became a coping mechanism. I can’t diet during pregnancy but I have gone out of my way to eat right for me and Smoochie and set a good stage for post partum. I’m in my late 30s so who knows where my weight will settle but I figure I can be a size 14 and hate myself and fetishize my size 10 days or be a size 14 and like myself.

      After everything we’ve been through we deserve to like ourselves and our bodies wherever they are 😍😘

      Liked by 1 person

      • Good point! We have been through so much and after all of it, need to try and be content with who we are from it. I am sure you are doing everything possible to keep baby healthy and thats what matters! Thanks for making me feel a little less down about myself 😊

        Liked by 1 person

    • You look great Sondra! What an inspiration to those battling this issue. Thanks for the uplifting, kind words. They really brightened my day! Coming from you, it means so much.
      P.S. On another note, i am starting to think the present I sent Nora might have got lost in the mail 😳😳 I sent it 3 days after Christmas, and of course I threw out the darn shipping receipt! So mad!

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  3. As if this road isn’t hard enough-we have to contend with weight gain too. I hate when I have to cover up the no drinking and weight gain as not being pregnant when that is all I want I the world. I so feel you on this. Just building my character stronger and stronger is all I keep telling myself. Hope you are kind to yourself through all this. Xo

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  4. I’m so sorry the Lupron is doing this to you 😦 I know exactly what you mean about people noticing weight gain and knowing about TTC-ing- I kid you not…one guy at work literally looked me up and down-and around to check if I got pregnant over the holidays! Aghhhhhhhhhhh-yeh could have throat punched him!!! :-/
    I know it’s hard to lose weight caused by meds (even more so when you are on the slimmer side) just make sure you have lots of fun (like meeting new people at a class, trying new foods or doing something fun with hubby) in whatever you decide to do to get to your own ideal size 🙂
    This sucks though 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have gained about 10 to 15 pounds steadily since I started the IVF process. I can’t attribute all of it to the hormones, but I am very sure they play a huge part in it. What gets me recently is the lupron that I have to inject. It’s of course different from the one you are taking, but it’s still lupron. And it makes my tummy extremely bloated. I am quite sure it is the lupron because it just started. Just like the last time I was on lupron. End of last year, a grandma of my therapy kid insisted that I was pregnant. When I told her no, I was just fat, she said that I might not know that I was. It was infuriating. I hope you have some energy to get some exercise in. When you get more exercise in, you get more energetic.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I feel your pain. Since starting the path of infertility and hormones I have gained quite a bit of wait and like you I am shorter with a smaller frame, so even a little feels like a lot. I’m trying to kick my booty into gear and loose a few lbs before my next round of IVF. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m totally with you. I’ve always been a certain size (well I’ve fluctuated but never been more than a certain size) and that size was small. I’ve now gone into medium territory with my last IVF and the pregnancy and miscarriage, and I’m finding it REALLY hard to lose the weight. Part of it is psychological (“I lost my baby so why shouldn’t I stuff my face?!”) and part is physiological.

    My sister who also had IVF and a miscarriage (luck runs in our family!) said she is struggling to lose weight also. We both had the same drugs. I definitely think there is an associated weight gain with the drugs, and it’s much harder to lose weight than it is to gain weight!

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  8. Oh and what REALLY doesn’t help is people, doctors, friends saying you should lose weight in order to increase your chances of conceiving. I am a size 10 in UK sizes, which really isn’t big at all. But I have put on a fair amount of weight over the past couple of years, and am the heaviest I’ve ever been. It means my BMI is 28 which makes me overweight, even though I can fit into size 10 clothes. It messes with your head. And it makes me feel really crap, because even when I was a size 6-8 (tiny), I couldn’t conceive. It’s making me feel that it’s my own fault that I can’t get pregnant, even though I had 10 years of being that small and in my 20s/early 30s and I never conceived. And I have friends who are without exception fatter than me and happy chubby mums! So this whole telling you to lose weight thing is a load of b*llocks!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. As if we don’t have enough to contend with! I’m struggling as well. It just sucks. Like really, universe? Anyway, you’re still super awesome and it’s just extra insulation for the winter months. That’s what I’m telling myself 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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