Recently, an Australian journalist for the World Press Institute asked if we would be willing to do an interview about our IVF/RPL experiences.
She came across our family photos (below) and would like to feature an article with a few of them along with the interview. We happily said yes, anytime we can help others we are in. Plus, I secretly always wanted to be a journalist so I have to help another one out!
Here are the questions & answers, along with the photos we chose to have in it.
Questions for Angela
- What name would you like to use in the story (for example – just “Angela” or both your first and second name – this is totally up to you) Angela is good.
- How old are you? I am 33, will be 34 in November of 2016.
- Is it OK if we say you live in Florida in the US? Yes 😊
- What is your partner’s name? How long have you been with him/been married? Shane & I are 16 years in the making now; we met in 2000. It was my senior year and his junior year of high school. It was pretty much love at first sight (sounds cliche, but its true). We were engaged in 2006, & married by August of 2007.
- Did you always want kids? Yes, I did! I wasnt exactly sure how old I wanted to be when we did though. I was 25 when we married, and he was 24. Shane always wanted kids too, but said he wanted to wait about 5 years to have them. We never thought we would have to actually “try,” we thought it would just happen when we were ready one night!
- When did your journey to have a baby start? How old were you at the time? We stopped being careful about a year into our marriage, so I was close to 27.
- When did you realise it might be harder than you thought? I think we both thought something was odd pretty soon after we stopped being careful that first year.
- What made you decide to try IVF? After a few years of trying on our own, tracking ovulation, charting my body temperature, testing for ferns on my saliva, taking all sorts of herbs & superfoods, we realized it wasnt going to happen naturally for us.
- How did that process unfold? My OB referred us to a fertility specialist, or Reproductive Endocrinologist, after my husbands first sperm analysis came back showing significant male factor infertility.
- You’ve had some difficult experiences along the way. Can you tell me about those..? The road has not been easy by any means. After our diagnosis of MFI, we felt confident that our first IUI would work. When it didnt, it got even more real. Then when the second one failed too, we knew IVF was the path we needed to pursue. I was 30 and my husband 28 at that time.
- How many pregnancies have you lost? 3 IVF pregnancies, with a total of 5 babies being lost.
- Are you still hopeful IVF might give you a baby? I do still have hope. The day I lose hope will be the day I stop treatment!
- On Facebook we discussed the idea that the story of women who fail at IVF is never told. Why do you think that is? I think the medical world wants everyone to believe its the end-all-be-all, the magic pill, that it ‘just has to work.’ If more people knew how often it didnt work on the first try, they would be a lot more cautious with their hearts. We were naive & thought it surely would produce a child right away. I also think a lot of couples choose to keep their stories quiet because of the pain and embarrassment they associate with the IVF failure, even though its not in anyway their fault.
- Why did you start your blog? I started my blog after our 3rd miscarriage. I wanted others to know they are not alone. So many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking no one understood. I knew there had to be someone out there that I could relate with, and likewise, someone who felt they could relate with me too. I immediately made the blog public, and linked it to my personal social media sites. It literally felt like a ton was lifted off of us when we finally told our story. Hiding infertility treatments are one thing, hiding miscarriages in conjuction with them is entirely another. Thankfully, the support through my blogging community and through our friends, family, & co-workers has been a lifesaver.
- If you think about the IVF industry and the ethics of that industry…is there anything you’d like to say about this (some of the other ladies I’ve interviewed have bought this up with me)? Of course, I think it would be great if more financial assistance (across the board) was available since infertility is a disease, although many do not recognize it as one. Not sure if that falls into the ethics category or not. I will say that overall we have been blessed with doctors and nurses that have have an ethical bedside manner and a listening ear.
- Is there anything else you’d like to say? No two journeys are the same. I have found comparison can be the thief of joy. When I first began treatments, I didnt rejoice in others success stories as much as I should have; instead I would wonder what was wrong with us & why were we being punished? Once I realized their success had nothing to do with me, I started really living again and not being a prisoner of IVF and pregnancy loss. That being said, each day I wake up & choose happiness!