A New Month Begins, and Another Door Slams Shut

Got the “official” MRI reading back from my RE late this afternoon.  Here is what she sent me:

  
As you can see, not the best news. Of course, both cases were bad news, but another fibroid could at least be removed with hopes of it not coming back again.  Not that I was even positive I was ready for surgery again, or that it wouldnt come back, but still, it was a possibility.  I guess many women have achieved successful pregnancies after fibroids, so in the back of my mind there was a tiny glimmer of hope it was that. 

But, it doesnt appear thats the case..surprise surprise! Anyways, like you read, I will get a more in depth report next week.  However, in the meantime, here is what I already know from our prior discussions about the MRI showing adenomyosis/adenomyomas:

  • Further surgery is not an option
  • This is a chronic condition
  • The only way to completely rid the uterus of adenomyosis is via hysterectomy 
  • We can try shrinking the adenomyomas using Lupron for about 3 months 
  • If that fails, a gestational carrier is the board of RE’s recommendation 

Right now, my plan is to generate a list of questions about shrinking it.  Heres whats off the top of my mind–

  • Since this is a chronic condition, is it even worth trying to shrink it? Injecting myself everyday for 3 months…and thats just to get to another hysteroscopy to see if it worked.  Im not interested in the BS percentages of it working, Im insterested in hands-on experience…has anyone of these RE’s actually seen Lupron suppression work for this before? 
  • How quickly is it all going to grow back after I stop taking the Lupron? Long enough to even transfer one of our embryos? 
  • What about if we transferred and got pregnant? What are the chances it will grow back then? Another miscarriage? 
  • Lastly, where the HELL do we even start with a surrogate? 

I have so many questions about the last bullet, but dont know if I am ready to ask them or hear the answers.  Ill be honest, it is pretty hard for us to swallow.  I think I will post more about it soon.  

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37 thoughts on “A New Month Begins, and Another Door Slams Shut

  1. I’m sorry to hear this. I know it’s not what you wanted to hear. I know there is nothing that I can say that will make you feel better because it’s a punch in the gut and only time will numb the ache. I will be praying for you. Much love xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so sorry to hear this. While getting some kind of answer was important, I know the answer you got is not the one you wanted at all. I can only hope that all this pain and disappointment is leading you to the little baby you are supposed to have. Somehow, someway. I just want to give you a big hug and let you know I am still keeping up hope for you. I have faith that you will have a happy ending to this nightmare. Xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • What would I do without the support of you and all these wonderful ladies? I really dont know, and therefore I just want to say thank you. I appreciate your kindness and positivity very much.
      On another note, I must ask …how do I follow you? I cant seem to on here, I have tried several times.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I couldn’t agree more. This community is like my secret armor I wear around everyday! I can’t get my username to link to my blog for some reason. My blog is https://mamjojo23.wordpress.com. I suffered primary infertility to have my son on my third IVF cycle and am now on my 8th IVF cycle still trying for a sibling. I know I am so lucky to have my miracle child and do not want people to follow me on my blog if it is at all a trigger. It would have been for me. I just like being a part of this group and helping others get through the hell. Xo

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Likewise I’m also so sorry to hear this… So much to take on board and so many difficult questions to find answers to. I hope that you get some really good support in navigating through all this so that you come to the solution which is right for you and brings you the outcome you desire. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so sorry. Gosh, you are really due for some sunshine here. You’ve just been through so much and my heart is aching for you. Do they think the adenomyosis is what caused your miscarriages? I’m glad you got answers, but I so wish they were the answers you wanted. I hope your doctor answers all of your questions and you can find your way to making a decision about what’s to come. Xo. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Some sunshine would be amazing! Ugh, so over this darkness every time we turn around. It sounds like that may be the case, that it caused my miscarriages, but I think ill be able to find out more this upcoming week. I hope we can make a decision soon too. Thanks for your support 😊

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  5. Hi, I’ve just started reading your blog, so I don’t know much about everything you’ve been through. But I couldn’t read without saying how hard this must be for you and I can only imagine how heartbroken you feel. I’m thinking of you and hope you get answers soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello! Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. I appreciate them very much. It has been quite difficult, we have MF infertility and have now undergone 3 IVF miscarriages. We have never gotten pregnant at home together in the past 15 years unfortunately. Recently, we have been faced with a mass that has regrown in my uterus and a cancelled FET cycle. We are sort of in limbo mode, and the doctors are throwing around gestational carrier talk 😓 Just a short recap…I am so glad to meet you & get to know you!

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  6. Thinking of you.. You are certainly your own advocate and your questions are very solid. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. I’m going to continue to pray for you. ❤ Sending lots of love.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, surprisingly, I have been working through it all. I know you know that I wasnt even planning on coming back this year, but did at the last minute…I think this year will really be it for me. Its just way too much anymore! I hope your year is going great, with a good group of kids 😊

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      • Yeah, I worried that maybe it was a lot right now for you. Being around other people’s kids is so tough one struggling with infertility. Not to mention the constant distraction that comes with thinking through treatment and options. I hope your kids are treating you well. My group this year is amazing. I’m really grateful. 💞

        Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly…my mind is always racing and then there is so much at school to worry about too. Im generally a perfectionist at work and its killing me with all this bc I cant be!
        So glad u have a nice group…sounds like this is your year all around 💙😊

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