A Few Notes from an Infertile Myrtle

I started OCP’s, or in laymens terms, birth control pills, this past week on day 3 of my cycle. Just for the record, I really do hate being on OCP’s. I can already sense the mood swings, exhaustion, and overeating kicking in and it hasnt even been a full week of consumption yet. An infertiles gotta do what an infertiles gotta do, right?  Only 26 more days of them left. 
 

  

Time is flying by. I looked at the calendar last night and realized that in just 8 weeks we could be pregnant again. Or in just 8 weeks, we could be experiencing our first transfer out of 4 that does not produce a pregnancy at all.  It hit even harder once the protocol and price quote were delivered to my inbox.  

  

A myriad of emotions started to flood me. A minor meltdown took place, but I will save all of that for a later post because it needs one of its own.  

In the meantime, we have FINALLY gotten all of the paperwork sent out for the FET grant we are applying for. It only took and arm and a leg (and 3 months), but I am happy to report this thick stack of papers is off of my dining room table and in the postmans hands.  Now, lets all just pray by the grace of God we are selected! 

Just after I returned from dropping off the grant at the post office, I checked the mail and what was in there but a lovely notice for jury duty in a few weeks. I originally got a notice for duty following our last miscarriage while I was on my medical leave from work.  When I got the notice back then, I was pissed. Heres why-one of the “excusal reasons” you can check off is expectant mother.  

  

Probably sounds pretty reasonable to a fertile, pregnant woman. But what a slap in the face this was to me just weeks after losing our children.  Now that I was no longer pregnant, I suddenly couldn’t be excused?!? Excuse me?

Thankfully, since I had never postponed duty before, I was able to put it off. You can postpone one time after the first notice, but you still have to provide a reason as to why you wish to postpone for the judge to approve. And boy let me tell you, I let it all out in my postponement letter. I made sure to tell the judge that “miscarrying mothers” or “mothers that lost a child” should be excusal reasons if “expectant mothers” is.  The judge probably thought I was out of my mind, but I really didnt care.  At the time, I was so incredibly mad at the world it didnt matter. 

When I saw the notice today, something inside of me was ignited again. I cant help but feel like it is a burn. Here we are, just a few weeks away from our due date and it comes.  I dont know what I will do about it yet, although I have plenty of ideas running through my mind.  Who would have thought that something like jury duty would make me feel this type of way!  RPL does some crazy things to you I guess. 

On a side note, I found this quote from an amazing author today, and it totally made me smile….