Utter Exhaustion

I am utterly exhausted.  Each morning I wake, I am tired to the point of not being able to fully open my eyes after a solid 9 or 10 hours of sleep. Subsequent to a full nights sleep, I can easily nap during the day after drinking a tall coffee with shots of espresso in it. And when I nap, I sleep deeply for a good 3 hours.

  

This is how I feel
 
I started exercising again about 3 weeks ago. I have always been under the impression that it brings energy.  Years ago, when I used to run faithfully everyday, I was full of energy afterwards. Now, after I exercise, I am done for the day.  The rest of my day is unproductive because I am totally beat.  And the exercise I am doing is not extreme, so it’s not like I am overdoing it to say the least.  I have also been eating super healthy and taking my vitamins daily, so I can’t attribute the exhaustion to my diet.  I have pretty much cut out all carbs and artificial sugars, eating lots of protein, fiber, fruits, and veggies.

I have been getting my dose of Vitamin D as well.  I go out in the sun around 2 times a week for a few hours at a time.  But to be honest, I really have to push myself to get out there.  I would much rather stay inside my air-conditioned house in my bed, in my pajamas, blogging, coloring, or watching my day shoes. Even showering, going to the grocery store, or cleaning takes a lot of energy.  Its almost like I can only handle 1 task per day max.

The question is why am I soooo lethargic?!?  It can’t possibly be normal considering I get plenty of rest, exercise, eat healthy, & take vitamins. My husband seems to think I am battling some form of depression and I am not consciously aware of it. Has anyone out there experienced similar symptoms and found they are indeed depressed? I mean, after what we have gone through the past year, 3 IVF miscarriages and the loss of our dog, I guess it is possible he is right.  I don’t want to believe that I am clinically depressed, but maybe I am. 

How do you really know for sure you have something so abstract anyways? A doctor diagnosed me as depressed when I was 20, and I went on antidepressants for a year.  I try to think back to my symptoms and the diagnostics of it, but it is all quite blurry.  I do remember crying easily and frequently, which is something I also do now.

The only other causes I can come up with aside from the depression are A.) All of the hormones and drugs are still in my system, or B.) I have some underlying issue unrelated to depression that no doctor can seem to identify.  I have a hard time believing that it is Option A. and all of those fertility hormones are still in my system months after I last took them and they are causing this. However, I was on the hormones for 9 out of 12 months, and that’s a long time when you think about it. I did undergo anesthesia 4 times in the past 5 months, and take a good amount of painkillers due to all of the procedures. 

Could all of this still be in my system?  If not, is it Option B perhaps? The unknown? That would be frightening because I have had every test under the sun done and they all seem to show I am healthy on paper. 

I would really appreciate any feedback/info from those who have been in a similar situation to this! Thanks in advance. 

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26 thoughts on “Utter Exhaustion

  1. I’ve experienced that, and it was definitely depression. I kept doing what you’re doing, and then I added in gratitude lists. Every day, I wrote down a list of ten things I’m grateful for. Really it just took me time. I needed time to grieve, and it took longer for me than it has for other women I’ve known. You’re doing everything right. You may just need the rest. I’ll also say that the withdrawal off of carbs, etc. took forever for me, and switching to getting energy off of a low carb diet took a while.

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  2. Sounds very much like depression. But it could be worth mentioning to your doctor to see if there are some underlying medical things going on. I am with the above commenter. Gratitude lists and time. I also found music really helful, from the ‘I am super angry thrashing stuff’ to the meditation tracks and nature sounds, plus everything in between. I also found going for a walk or relaxing with an audio book helped too. Audio books take my mind off everything else because I am concentrating on the story. I hope you find what works for you, exercise and healthy diet are huge positives already!

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    • Thank u for the feedback!! Its so crazy because mentally I dont feel depressed, but everyone keeps telling me thats how depression is. That u dont even realize it sometimes and its different for each person. I do listen to some audio CDs and I love them! Whatever this is, I surely hope it improves because Im sick of feeling like a slug!

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  3. This is how depression manifests in me. If you have a history of it, I think the mystery is solved. I agree with sewingbutterfly that it may be worth talking to a doctor to see if there’s an underlying medical reason. You don’t have to take medication if you don’t want to, but maybe talking to a therapist would help. Even if you can’t identify anything concrete that might be bothering you, talking to someone could help. Whatever is going on, I hope you feel better soon!

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    • I agree that seeing if there is an underlying issue is important! That’s what I feel might be going on. I am hoping that my doctor can rule some things out when I see her in a few weeks. When I was depressed 10 years ago, it was due to trauma. So perhaps, it is depression now due to the recent traumas & I don’t realize it. It’s very frustrating not knowing and feeling this way. I did see a therapist before when I felt very upset, but I eventually quit going because in all honesty, I don’t feel upset anymore. But physically, I am just beat. I guess we will see. Thank you for your ideas!

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  4. I suggest looking into your thyroid and vitamin D levels. I know you are spending time in the sun, but that still may not be giving you enough, I take daily supplements. Also, do you have a counsellor? If so, talk to them about it. If not, I highly recommend finding one anyways. it was the absolute best thing we did while going through RPL. I recommending it and will honestly say I think ours is the reason we survived everything. A counsellor will be able to help diagnose depression if that’s what it is, but more importantly a counsellor will help you find strategies to break out of it.
    Sending you love and wishing you the best!

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    • Thank you for the advice. I have an appointment in a few weeks and I am going to request that my Vitamin D be checked. I just had my thyroid checked and it came back normal thankfully. I did see a counselor briefly after our 3rd loss, but maybe going again isn’t a bad idea. I guess I need to determine if this is a physical/mental issue, or solely physical. Perhaps they can assist. Thanks again!

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  5. I completely understand what you are going through. There are days when I can’t find the energy to do anything or where I need a nap even though I got enough sleep the night before. However, I have read that thyroid issue can be the reason why you would feel completely exhausted after working out. You should have your doctor look into that as there are more tests to run than just the TSH (which is the main one doctors run). Hopefully your doctor is able to give you some reassurance at your next appointment. xo

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    • Im so sorry you feel this way some days too. It really sucks. I recently had them check my thyroid uptakes and the antibodies when they did the TSH. They both came back normal. But i am def going to bring it up and make sure all thyroid was covered and my results weren’t borderline or something! Thank you for the info!!

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    • I do have additional iron in my body! I cant remember the name of the disorder off hand but I have it written down. They discovered it when we did our genetic testing, but I have never been treated for it (they always made it seem like no biggie that it was more iron and not less). Now I am interested! Do you have any additional info on this? Thanks for reminding me about it, I am def going to mention it to my dr.

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      • To much iron is caused by a condition called haemochromatosis my hubby has it and one of the key symptoms is fatigue. If you have upped your protein intake you have probably also upped your iron levels so I would recommend getting them rechecked, If your levels get to high they will get you to do a blood donation (although they don’t always use the blood) to bring your levels back down. Given your change in diet I would not be at all surprised if this is the issue.

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  6. Yes! Me! This has been me lately! Ugh! It’s the worst! And with a four year old oater child it makes it harder cause I can’t just stay at home in my pjs! Lol! I have cut out sugar and carbs and take a b complex vitamin and it has been helping some.

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    • Oh, Elisha I am sure that is so tough! Thats one of my worries–if im this tired now, how the heck would I be able to chase around a munchkin one day!? I need to start doing b vitamins too I think. Ive even heard of B12 shots! Hope you feel rejuvenated soon 😍

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  7. If it’s any consolation I’m going through something similar. Getting out of bed has become an ordeal for me and I fond myself sneaking off to nap whenever possible. Like you, I’m healthy, eat well, exercise, etc. I’m going to have a physical just to be certain all is OK. If it is I’ll talk to my doctor about what he recommends.

    I’ll let you know if anything works wonders. 🙂

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  8. anethestic can cause long lasting fatigue, and having had 3 lots close together it could take a while for that to come back to normal. After having been on hormone drugs for a large part of the year (probably a similar 9mout of 12 months) I found it took about 3 months to feel normal again – but for me it was like having PmS all the time rather than fatigue. I think the hormones take a lot out of us. I’ve also read if the body is already stressed (IVF causes some physical stress) then exercising can actually just add to the stress rather than being beneficial – might be worth just sticking to some walks and yoga til you get your energy back.
    Hope you start to feel your energetic self again soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was thinking that could be a possibility too. I agree… those drugs and hormones can really do a number on us, especially when there are SO many in such a SHORT time! I’m glad you are feeling back to your normal self again though. Thank you for the encouragement

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