From the Desk of My Significant Other

The post below is directly from my better half…I hope you enjoy his writing for a change!

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Warning: I have not written a full paragraph in over a decade so be a kind judge.  I am the lucky husband of a future author & blogger.  She is currently bedridden due to her most recent procedure so she asked if I would like to chime in. Hesitantly, I said yes. I will give you my version of our relationship/experiences.

Beginning

Yes its true. I first got her attention by throwing food at her in the high school lunch room.  A mutual friend introduced us and I knew I had to get to know her.  After the first night of hanging out after school I knew we were going to be together.  We both fell in love hard & fast.  Experiencing the same trials & tribulations most young couples encounter. And after all of our younger years we were still crazy about each other.  The decision to move to Florida was kind of spur of the moment but looking back I’m glad we made the leap of faith together. It was and still is hard to be away from my family but I try to keep in contact with most & talk to them as much as I can. Toledo will always be my home but my wife’s family in Florida does a great job of making me feel welcome and continue to help us greatly to this day.  I’ve always admired their faith as a family.  It has opened my eyes to true love and faithfulness.

Middle

After being in Florida and now living with my wife and getting a dog, I knew it was time to take our relationship to the next level.  In my one moment of good boyfriending I surprised her with a romantic proposal on the top deck of our cruise ship.  I know I surprised her when she repeatedly told me to shut up, shut up, & eventually YES! Through this time I think we both wondered in the back of our minds why we hadn’t had a pregnancy scare.  I remember us not being the most careful at all times.  But after being married and “not-not trying” we both knew for a fact something was going on.  She knew of my Varicocele and knew I was told by a doctor when younger that this would not be a reproductive issue.  So we saw a urologist & he suggested that I have a small operation to stop the flow of blood through the enlarged vein.  No guarantees that this would make any improvements but we tried to remain optimistic.  Knowing it would take years after the surgery for my swimmers to reach normalcy we came to the harsh reality that we were going to need assistance in creating a child.  Not ideal like the rest of our relationship had been.

The Last Few Exhausting Years

As normal middle class citizens we were generally concerned about the costs of assisted pregnancy.  I was greatly concerned about where we would get the money to do something like this.  Then I realized we were never going to be able to pay for it out-of-pocket so with my wife’s investigative skills she found us a great financing program through WIN Fertility. We did the paperwork & found a fertility doctor we both agreed upon & dove into the process head first.  Looking back we must’ve dove into the shallow end because my head & heart HURT! As you know we have had 3 miscarriages, each time more hurtful than the last.  The last the hardest because we saw heartbeats and progression in growth.  RIP.  Let alone all the family we hesitantly told because of the 2 previous losses. We thought for sure that this time was different and it wasn’t just us. Family, friends, and doctors all agreed that this was our time & we truly felt the same.  So when she called me that day & told me no heartbeat I knew it would be different this time for sure. The heartbreak is unexplainable! Everyone around us is pregnant currently (10 couples) all with similar due dates.  I’ll admit I wasn’t as supportive the first 2 miscarriages as I could have been but I knew I had to be there for my wife this time.  So like I recently told her “keep the faith.” I explained how I learned this from her family and the way they were brought up.  It’s in God’s hands. So every morning we read together and try to keep a positive outlook.  But we are currently in another 2WW (got that from her) for results from the last procedure.  Hopefully we get some solid results and we can possibly try to give it another go.  Thank you all for reading.  Blogging has truly helped my wife get her feelings out & hear about others experiences.