Trading Places

So, this image has been circulating the internet as of lately.

notfunny

Lets be honest, I do have a hard time seeing the humor in it.  I get that the people who “like” it, or post it must.  They are totally entitled to their own opinions.  And my guess is that they don’t intend any harm when posting it.  If that happens to be you, try to keep an open mind to what I am going to say.  Or perhaps you have never even seen this image, and think I am over reacting by bringing it up.  Telling me, “Geesh! Don’t be so serious!” Maybe. But remember, I am entitled to my own opinion too, and I’d love for you to read on before you make your decision. 

The question I would like to ask is, before posting this, did anyone consider the women out there who could never get pregnant?  Who had trouble achieving a pregnancy?  Or, what about the women who experienced miscarriages, and have yet to hold a child in their arms?  These women desperately yearn for a baby, let alone another baby as the image jokes. My gut feeling is that if asked if anyone posting considered these questions, the honest answer would be no. And, in my opinion, that’s the problem. A lack of consideration for others. 

In addition to that image, I have come across a few other pregnancy posts recently.  I always take the time to read them, particularly because it can give me some insight on the person posting, or re-posting it.  One post spoke of what a miracle being pregnant is, and a bunch of women were commenting about their pregnancies.  Many of these women were overjoyed and grateful for the life growing inside of them.  They knew 100% that they were blessed.  Others, on the other hand, just complained. Complained about their weight. Complained about their sickness. Complained about being on bed rest.  Complained about shaving. Really?! Complaint, after complaint, after complaint.  To me, these complaints were much more difficult to swallow than the image above; the image was intended to be a joke, but these complaints, they were for real. 

Although I never carried to full term, I still get that pregnancy can be tough.  Every time I was pregnant, it was tough.  I was on bed rest, I had complications early on, like sub-chorionics, and high blood pressure.  I felt sick.  I had anxiety.  I was tired.  I felt uncomfortable.  I get it.  Despite all that, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to see how negatively they felt about their pregnancies.  I’d happily suffer all those tough times for “another” baby as the image suggests. 

This being said, I actually stepped out of my comfort zone, making 1 general comment to all of these complaints.  I kindly stated that “so many women would do anything to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have a baby.” And boy, did I catch heat for it.  I was actually referred to as a “sanctimonious bitch on her high horse.”  Ouch. I simply replied back with, “God Bless” and “I’m sorry if I offended you.”  Both of which I truly meant. I never heard back. 

Surviving Infertility has changed me.  In the past, I most likely would have wasted my time, & went back and forth with these people.  Not anymore.  Instead, it brought tears to my eyes and a knot to my throat, making it hard to swallow. From the high horse comment and the 22 likes it received, it was clear to me that these individuals had hardened their hearts. They couldn’t feel another person’s pain, regardless of if they had experienced it or not.  This made me remember how much harder my own heart used to be, and how unfortunate it was that it was that way at one time. I felt bad for these women, I and pray they can feel for others again one day. 

Having empathy is one of the greatest gifts God has given us through this journey.  There is not nearly enough of it in our world.  I can now say that I take the time to really think about every person I encounter, and what they could possibly be battling.  I try to put myself in their shoes.  I might be the only kind person they encounter that day, and God only knows what they are dealing with. 

My point about the image I copied above, and the negative comments that were being made on the subsequent post, was that it would be a much better place if people had more consideration and empathy for those around them.  This is about everything in life, not just pregnancy.

However, if you are pregnant and struggling to accept it, know that the life growing inside you is a gift from God.  I know it can be tough, but dont take it for granted.  Realize it’s only 9 months of pregnany. Realize “another” child will bring you joy at some time in your life, even if you think you already have enough.  

It’s not like we are talking about cancer, or AIDS, or another terminal illness here. Then I would totally get the ranting and complaining.  We are talking about being able to do what our bodies are designed to do, and in turn, create a family. And for that, I’m positive there are many women who would trade places with those who dislike being pregnant any day. MANY.

Thoreau-empathy-quote

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5 thoughts on “Trading Places

  1. High Horse? I cant believe someone said that to you!!! I hope that you don’t physically KNOW this person. I too will be praying for them! Lord knows they need it! I completely get the complaining! I have 7 friends now who are pregnant and they all act like its a handicap. They are always so “miserable”, “in pain”, “cant sleep” “pee to much” “hormonal” and bla bla bla … They all have respectable jobs and call out 24/7 for stupid stuff because they are just “tired and pregnant” its really ridiculous! I was throwing up 8-10 times a day the first trimester and lost 16 lbs and never once skipped a beat or missed work and i have a demanding job. I took this “handicap” as what it TRULY is .. a blessing. I hate when people say “im so over this” or “cant wait for it to be over”. As long as it took us to get pregnant and as hard as we worked my husband and I take every day as a blessing and we are patient with the baby. When he is ready he will make his entrance until then, there is no rush he can just take his time at his own pace. There just terrible tho.. you are not at all on a high horse and had just reason to express how you felt. I agree tho people need to think about how others feels instead of themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This image just popped up in my news feed today. It was posted by my cousin, 2 years my junior, who has 4 children ranging in age from 18 months to 20 years old (all different fathers, too, not that I’m judging). Basically, she started young and just didn’t stop. I was tempted to make a snarky comment about how, in her case, that’s not really an outrageous question…. I’ve actually wondered it myself. I guess that’s what bothered me the most about her posting this image, that it’s painfully obvious that it’s simply a matter of WHEN she’s going to have another, not IF, and that if she really didn’t want more, she could easily choose to stop getting pregnant. For me and many other women, we can’t just choose to have a baby. I mean, we can, but that doesn’t mean we will be able to have one.

    Liked by 1 person

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