Trading Places

So, this image has been circulating the internet as of lately.

Lets be honest, I do have a hard time seeing the humor in it.  I get that the people who “like” it, or post it must.  They are totally entitled to their own opinions.  And my guess is that they don’t intend any harm when posting it.  If that happens to be you, try to keep an open mind to what I am going to say.  Or perhaps you have never even seen this image, and think I am over reacting by bringing it up.  Telling me, “Geesh! Don’t be so serious!” Maybe. But remember, I am entitled to my own opinion too, and I’d love for you to read on before you make your decision. 

The question I would like to ask is, before posting this, did anyone consider the women out there who could never get pregnant?  Who had trouble achieving a pregnancy?  Or, what about the women who experienced miscarriages, and have yet to hold a child in their arms?  These women desperately yearn for a baby, let alone another baby as the image jokes. My gut feeling is that if asked if anyone posting considered these questions, the honest answer would be no. And, in my opinion, that’s the problem. A lack of consideration for others. 

In addition to that image, I have come across a few other pregnancy posts recently.  I always take the time to read them, particularly because it can give me some insight on the person posting, or re-posting it.  One post spoke of what a miracle being pregnant is, and a bunch of women were commenting about their pregnancies.  Many of these women were overjoyed and grateful for the life growing inside of them.  They knew 100% that they were blessed.  Others, on the other hand, just complained. Complained about their weight. Complained about their sickness. Complained about being on bed rest.  Complained about shaving. Really?! Complaint, after complaint, after complaint.  To me, these complaints were much more difficult to swallow than the image above; the image was intended to be a joke, but these complaints, they were for real. 

Although I never carried to full term, I still get that pregnancy can be tough.  Every time I was pregnant, it was tough.  I was on bed rest, I had complications early on, like sub-chorionics, and high blood pressure.  I felt sick.  I had anxiety.  I was tired.  I felt uncomfortable.  I get it.  Despite all that, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt to see how negatively they felt about their pregnancies.  I’d happily suffer all those tough times for “another” baby as the image suggests. 

This being said, I actually stepped out of my comfort zone, making 1 general comment to all of these complaints.  I kindly stated that “so many women would do anything to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have a baby.” And boy, did I catch heat for it.  I was actually referred to as a “sanctimonious bitch on her high horse.”  Ouch. I simply replied back with, “God Bless” and “I’m sorry if I offended you.”  Both of which I truly meant. I never heard back. 

Surviving Infertility has changed me.  In the past, I most likely would have wasted my time, & went back and forth with these people.  Not anymore.  Instead, it brought tears to my eyes and a knot to my throat, making it hard to swallow. From the high horse comment and the 22 likes it received, it was clear to me that these individuals had hardened their hearts. They couldn’t feel another person’s pain, regardless of if they had experienced it or not.  This made me remember how much harder my own heart used to be, and how unfortunate it was that it was that way at one time. I felt bad for these women, I and pray they can feel for others again one day. 

Having empathy is one of the greatest gifts God has given us through this journey.  There is not nearly enough of it in our world.  I can now say that I take the time to really think about every person I encounter, and what they could possibly be battling.  I try to put myself in their shoes.  I might be the only kind person they encounter that day, and God only knows what they are dealing with. 

My point about the image I copied above, and the negative comments that were being made on the subsequent post, was that it would be a much better place if people had more consideration and empathy for those around them.  This is about everything in life, not just pregnancy.

However, if you are pregnant and struggling to accept it, know that the life growing inside you is a gift from God.  I know it can be tough, but dont take it for granted.  Realize it’s only 9 months of pregnany. Realize “another” child will bring you joy at some time in your life, even if you think you already have enough.  

It’s not like we are talking about cancer, or AIDS, or another terminal illness here. Then I would totally get the ranting and complaining.  We are talking about being able to do what our bodies are designed to do, and in turn, create a family. And for that, I’m positive there are many women who would trade places with those who dislike being pregnant any day. MANY.