Would it be easier?

This post beautifully sums up how I feel about our recurrent pregnancy loss everyday.

A Calm Persistence

Recurrent pregnancy loss is so complicated.

Would it be easier if I’d never been pregnant?
If I hadn’t been pregnant multiple times?
If I hadn’t found out that my fourth baby was a boy?
Or if I could somehow forget all those important dates? The due dates? The first day we heard a heartbeat?
If I could forget those two pink lines? My husband’s reaction?
Would it be easier if there were never any triggers?

Would it be easier if I could just forget everything? 

There is only one thing that could make this easier- if my babies had survived, but unfortunately that wasn’t an option for me. Something I fight to cope with everyday.

Maybe it would be easier if none of them had existed? If I forgot everything that ever was? If one day I just woke up and everything was back to normal again- with no pain, no…

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