By our 8 1/2 week appointment, Baby B had vanished, and so had the subchorionic bleed. I couldn’t believe the bleed was gone. We were thrilled! We still had a lot of mixed emotions about Baby B, but all we wanted was a healthy pregnancy and child in the end. I knew if it wasn’t part of God’s plan for twins, then that was the best plan. But, don’t get me wrong, we still grieved this loss. We had already been looking at cute twinsy names in our baby name book and so forth. I tried my best to spend little time focusing on it because I did not want the stress to affect Baby A.
Baby A looked like a real baby this week! We could see its little head curled, its tiny feet, and mini earbuds! We were in complete awe at the transformation that had taken place over the past 3 weeks. I thanked God for allowing us to get to see the changes taking place each week. Most people don’t even get an ultrasound until they are 8 weeks along. We, on the other hand, had watched this baby grow from the time it was just an egg, to an embryo, to now, this amazing life.
By the minute, we were growing even closer and more in love with our baby who measured exactly as it should, at 8 weeks and 4 days. The heartbeat was also a perfect 169 bpm. When they weighed me in at our appointment, I had gained 5 pounds! I am sure some of it was water weight, or from the hormones even, so I didn’t feel too bad about it. What could I do anyways? I was literally ravished 24/7 and we took at as a good sign that our little one was growing as it should.
The doctor once again told us how minimal our chances of miscarriage now were, less than 5% by weeks 9 & 10. Woohoo! Another reason to go look at adorable baby stuff. One of the things we had been waiting years upon years to do together. So the day I turned 9 weeks, we decided to do just that. We didn’t buy anything for the baby, just browsed. My hubs saw one of those mini-basketball hoops and said, “I just can’t wait to do this with our kid.” I knew he was going to be such a great dad. We started talking about how we would arrange the nursery, in fact we even had a few floor plans picked out. We discussed colors and themes, and furniture, and so much more. We were absolutely elated at the thought of finally having our family.
The next day, my mom and I went out and bought some maternity clothes because none of my normal pants fit anymore. In the dressing room, my mom pointed out that I was now showing. In just a matter of days it happened. At 8 weeks, there was barely a bump & by 9, there it was! People at work were starting to see it too, even though I hadn’t spilled the beans yet. Part of me was a little nervous how big I would get since it was so early on, but the doctor reassured me I was doing just fine the way I was.
Then something odd happened; when I woke up one morning, I felt off. When I say off, I mean I felt normal. Being pregnant, you don’t feel your normal self and I was feeling like my normal self that day. I didn’t feel pregnant anymore. I told my husband & my mom, and a close friend, all who said not to worry, that everything would be fine. I tried to ignore it that day, but I noticed I never had to put on my sea bands or even have a gingerale. I was in the peak of the 1st trimester…why would my symptoms just disappear like that? It’s not like I was out of the 1st trimester when most women’s symptoms fade.
I figured I would be back to feeling pregnant tomorrow, or at least that’s what I desperately prayed. But when tomorrow rolled around, I still felt normal. And the worst part, I wasn’t very hungry. My 9 1/2 week appointment was the following day. I guess until then we would have to wait it out.
I had just the same. Woke up one day feeling utterly normal. No swoopy-dizzy feeling I’d had since 4 days before bfp, no sick feeling, not exhausted. Nothing. I freaked out and did test after test, all coming back positive (obviously). Turns out this was exactly the same day baby stopped growing. Horrifying, looking back. xx
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Its so horrible 😓 do u mind me asking how far along u were? And did they ever determine why it happened? 😢
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I was 6+5, baby never grew past that. Scan at 7+3. No heartbeat. Told I’d miscarry in 2 days maximum. Another week later, I had another scan. There was a heartbeat, but really slow. I eventually miscarried 8+6. 😦 They never determined the cause. I lost 3 in 3 months, sadly – we just got our RPL/RM tests, nothing even remotely odd in our results. I’m ‘lean’ pcos which could account for egg quality, but that’s only speculation by me after consulting Dr Google, they’ve never said that egg quality could be a factor specifically. Kind of wanted answers with our test results, so when they came back clear, it was good and bad – no problems, but yet no answers. Just hoping it will be different next time. Have you had tests to determine what happened? xx
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Omg i cant believe there was no heartbeat and then a heartbeat. Im so sorry. We know it wasnt genetic bc we had a d & c. Im having a hysteroscopy done in a few weeks with a biopsy and we really hope to get some answers. All our blood tests and what not always come back normal 😠
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The biopsy isn’t pleasant but it’s definitely worth having. I was amazed, saw my uterus on the screen, all pink and healthy! It was symmetrical, hooray!
The heartbeat strangely gave me closure; although it was really slow and that was gutting, it was calming to hear it because I could hear it was slow, and that made it all make sense as to why the baby wouldn’t make it. If I’d heard no heartbeat, it would have felt crueller – like there was no reason for it not to survive. But it made me happier that at least we’d heard it, even if it wasn’t a well little nugget. The two after felt more traumatic, even though I was only 5 weeks because there was nothing really to prove it, other than a hpt! At least with baby 1, we’d heard it and seen it on a scan, even if it didn’t go well.
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I know what u mean. With our first 2 losses we never saw a heartbeat. And with this last pregnancy, before we lost baby b, we heard its heartbeat even though it was slower by the week 😪
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I don’t know if you read my blog from Saturday (‘Miscarriage is easy to deal with’) but basically a colleague said that I was lucky I hadn’t heard a heartbeat because it would be harder to get over. So much wrong with that statement… But just from my opinion, I found the first easier, not just because of it being the first (and the optimism you have that it will be ok next time, and with the others, you don’t get that so much), but because of the heartbeat. It validated why I was hurting so much – it made it a baby that others could have properly seen and not just me ‘feeling’ it. I think that helped me, I dunno. I really hope you get some answers – easily solvable ones!!! Lots of luck xx
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Yes i do follow! I commented (i believe). I agree. How can anyone say what is easy or not with something that is so horrible to begin with? There is no easy anyway u look at it. And whats easy to one might not be to another. People who say things like that (in my opinion) have not endured much hardship as hardship opens your eyes to seeing many peoples views.
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I’m losing track of who said what and on which post, just read back and seen! D’oh! You’re absolutely right – she’s just not experienced anything like it. But I think in that case, don’t judge. Argh. Frustrating.
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No worries, I do the same. Word Press needs to come up with a better system for looking back and forth!
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