Since I can remember, I’ve always been in love with Christmas. I love everything about it; the decorations, the music, the weather, the traditions, the presents, the feelings. There really is no other holiday that can compare to it.
I woke up 6dp6dt (IVF slang for 6 days past a day 6 transfer), and it was Christmas Eve morning. As I sit here writing this today, I still get giddy thinking about that morning. My hubs left for work early so he would be home in time for our festivities later that night. As soon as he left, my mind starting going crazy wondering if we were pregnant or not. I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked to the bathroom in slow motion. It was not even 7 a.m. yet.
I got out the pregnancy test and stared at it for a few minutes. I could feel myself trembling. I knew it was so early to take a test, and I hadn’t told him that I was going to take it. In fact, we still had 4 more days until the blood test, which meant I technically wouldn’t be 4 weeks pregnant for 3 more days. I kept weighing out the pros and cons of testing that morning. I finally came to the conclusion that if it came back positive, it would be the best Christmas present ever, and if it came back negative, it could simply be too early.
I peed on the stick and set it down ever so gently. I left the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity. I crawled back into bed, and talked with God. About 5 minutes later, I slowly entered our bathroom again. I know so many of you know how that walk feels. In an instant, the result can bring incredible joy, or excruciating heartbreak. I flipped on the light and leaned over the test to see if there were 2 lines or not. There they were…2 dark lines…we were PREGNANT!!! It worked. I could not believe it!! Thank you, God!!
I recall as clear as day, standing in the bathroom, in front of the mirror, test in hand, laughing out loud while I was crying. Then running out of the bathroom, shouting and dancing with our dogs. This was definitely the craziest I had acted yet off a positive test. LOL. I got dressed right away, with no idea of where I was going. All I knew was that I wanted to find a way to surprise my hubs with the test later that night when we exchanged gifts. And lucky me, since it was Christmas Eve, everywhere had opened at the crack of dawn.
First stop, Target. I walked up to the jewelry counter, and blurted out excitedly to the first lady I saw, “I’m pregnant, and I want to surprise my husband, and put the test into a box like a present!” She thought it was a “wonderful idea” and started looking for a box right away. She had 1 red bracelet box left. I’ll never forget her words when she saw it was the last one, “it must just be meant to be!” I thanked her and left. Next stop, Babies R Us. Even though we had received presents from others, we had never bought anything for the babies that we lost in our prior pregnancies. Today was different. And so was this pregnancy I decided. I found the perfect bib that I could put into the box with the test and was on my way.
I headed straight to my mom’s next. I walked into her room, and plopped down on her bed. We conversated for a few minutes until I couldn’t help it anymore…I looked at her funny, and she laughed, and questioned me with a “what?” Then I smiled back, and replied, “I’m pregnant.” We both agreed that this time around it would be different. We hugged and laughed and of course, began to talk about the future.
Soon I headed home, so excited to put my husbands present together. I placed the bib and the test perfectly into the little red box. I taped it up, put a big silver bow on top, and placed it under the tree. I couldn’t wait to give it to my husband later that night. After our family festivities ended that night, and we were home just the two of us, I put on our usual Christmas present opening CD.
As I sat down with him this year, I realized this was our 14th Christmas together. How blessed were we to have had each other this long and to still be in love. I felt so content in this moment. We exchanged 1 by 1, as we always do. We got to the last present, the red box with the silver bow. I was grinning from ear to ear when I handed it to him. I am not one to usually be at a loss for words, but there really aren’t any that can describe that wonderful moment we had the opportunity to share. It was one that we will never forget, our Christmas miracle.
Surviving INfertility 